I prefer to go Dutch, that way if I'm no longer interested I don't feel guilty because he's paid and if he's not interested he doesn't feel like he's just wasted money.

As someone who believe gifts need to be kept to special occasions and surprises, and as a polyamorous woman, I believe that dates are an everyone-pays affair. You don't use dates as a gift. No one partner should be out money because of one reason or another. Dates are supposed to be about getting to know each other, and not about getting a free meal and/or movie ticket from a partner. You want to pay for something for me? Wait for my birthday or a random surprise, if you really want, but don't pay for a whole date. Just pay your way, and I pay mine.

I feel whomever asks should pay. I have no qualms about asking and paying for a date. But first dates I like to be a little informal like meeting for a coffee or cocktail and separate checks on that but dinner dates or event dates need to be paid for by the person doing the inviting.

A date is an agreement to meet someone you potentially might like to see again. It's not a financial transaction. Seperate checks confirms the lack of obligation.

As a feminist, I usually insist on separate checks. I want to be independent. I don't want any misunderstanding as to expectations if he pays (yes, it has happened and it was very awkward). I also meet them rather than be picked up. It's just a safety issue.

I may seem overly cautious but when I was young I was accosted by men in a variety of ways eight different times. I learned to be careful for my own safety. Once I have learned about the man and I feel comfortable, I will agree to be picked up at my home and I am fine with the man paying. When I was working (I'm now retired and dating), I almost always made much less than the men I was dating. Eventually, in return, I would fairly regularly fix dinner for them and since I'm a pretty good cook they were usually pleased with my efforts.

The bottom line is that I don't expect the man to pay for everything. That just doesn't seem fair. I do what I can and try to be as honest as possible in any financial discussion.

I'm old school so I pay regardless of how well the date went. I don't assume the woman isn't independent. She may very well make more than me, but tradition has it that the man pays. I would feel awkward if she paid and it wouldn't feel like a date going dutch. For me, there are no strings attached and no expectations beyond getting to know each other. First dates don't usually involve physical romance beyond a hug possibly a kiss if the date went extremely well. None of that has any obligation tied to the payment of the food. I would be crushed if a women told me she kissed me because of a feeling of obligation.

I will say this: if I ask in person I'm planning on paying, but if we met online I'm generally going to arrange to meet for coffee and split the check the first time we meet. If after a cup of Joe I want to keep getting to know them I'll suggest going someplace else as a full fledged date and pay for it.

Everyone should definitely pay for their own food. There are times where you might get dates who order outrageously expensive cocktails, several of them, and then order the most expensive thing on the menu. I feel like that’s taking advantage of someone. If you do that all the time, fine, but do it on your own dime. Not everyone makes the same income. Nor do they know if they want to invest in the relationship yet, so why should you be ordering a three course meal on the first date?

nobody, its a free meal you cook at home

Separate checks all the time. No way will I ever create any kind of expectation that I owe him in other ways. Not on a first date. You have no idea what kind of person you're dealing with at that point.

Don't even get me started. Explosions went off in my brain mind. There's so much here just to lay out, not even evaluate. Separate checks. I've paid for one too many dates with "traditional" girls and have gotten nothing out of it. Girls that didn't even like me before the date began, I suspect in retrospect. And that whole, "Whoever asks" thing, I don't know what women all y'all are around, but here I've never been asked out by a girl. It's the man whose supposed to "make the move." So I'm locked in on that one. Separate checks because equality, pragmatism, and we're on a date to get to know each other, not to fulfill vague standards of conduct like the most vanilla and uninspired checklist for compatibility. I never pay for a stranger or a friend of a friend or anyone I just met. I was raised on the idea that the man pays for the woman's dinner or whatever, but I shed that after bad experiences. Hell, I paid for a friend (guy, no sexual interest - just to clarify) multiple times and really expected nothing in return, but after a while I just felt used especially because his job, and he did have a job, paid better than mine and had just as many hours. He was a fuckin' mooch.
Don't even get me star - there's a lot - a lot! I'ma write a book about it.

Me personally i prefer to pay, Just because of how i was raised.

I was raised very old fashion. And I do believe in some of the older traditions, like the man being the one to pay on the first date. I just think its courtesy. After going on a couple dates and being in a committed relationship then I think one can pay for one thing and the other person takes care of the other thing, or have separate checks.

For me the person who asked. As a gentleman I would always pay on the first date. I was raised right.

I am more than happy to pay but if the girl just assumes that this is always going to be the way things are, she is probably not worth my time

Definitely pay for your own.

Ladies first as they say

Normally the guy, but if the date goes horrible and both know, then they should probably split it.

First date..... with someone that i barely know and have share nothing with her yet ? seperated check

never pay for a woman for the sole reason that she is a woman or because you want to sleep with her, first sex is free, you don't have to pay for it, it's not something you acquire , but something two persons who like each others share

I am a generous person, but when i feel like it, not because i feel obligated

i don't want a woman to like me for what i did, but i want her to like me for who i am

I date other guys, so I just assume each person will pay for themselves.

whoever wants to. Personally I'd offer if I could easily afford to and if not go halves. Some people want to pay and some want to pay independantly. Either way is ok as long as every one is happy afterwards.

there must be a mutual desire, otherwise, assumptions can be made by one or the other

If i ask someone out on a date, I am going to take care of everything from dinner, drinks, and the movie.

The man should pay on the first date.

It would come down to the person who asked, however, I have mostly started discussions on the payment, but the person who offered usually ends up paying.