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How important is romance in a relationship?

If you are analytical and know that love is primarily chemistry—although it also is a promise and a commitment—how do you manage to maintain romance?

Lilie 6 Dec 27
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7

Without romance, it would just be a friendship wouldn't it? We all know love is Chemistry but do you not like to feel those chemicals? Also there is sex which is wonderful with romance, without sex you are really just friends, without love and romance there can be sex, but just like mates hooking up? Romance is a beautiful feeling, embrace it.

Sacha Level 7 Dec 27, 2017
5

To Me... Romance is a Learned Modus Operandis. I am a Romantic, I write poems and songs to the Right Woman. I Open Doors, Get Up from the table etc. Charm her and Cuddle her... Let her know how much I appreciate her by my side. Even when everything ends... she will remember those romantic moments. They don't cost anything but they can go a Long Mile. If I ever Find a Woman That hate romance... I reckon I would adapt to her if needed to... I just never found one... but I heard they are out there. I think I am Good at It and Persuasive enough to Flip Her.

4

I think it depends on what you're looking for. It you want to live like roommates then romance is not needed. If you want a deeper relationship then you need romance or something like it. How to maintain, every individual is different. For me, doing stuff together helps build the relationship, but it depends on the stuff.

4

Without romance it would be a hook up, no?

3

depends on the relationship i guess

3

To me ? Rather a lot. Though it can be the tiniest, simple things that are the most romantic ... gently sprinkled through our day-to-day doings.

And yes, while that elusive "chemistry" is necessary to get things going, I feel love also has a good deal of choice in it. We have to be willing to go there, to let ourselves "fall".

As for maintaining - we need to give our love at least as much regular attention as we do our cars, or our pets !

3

I wonder did the origin of Romantic Love begin around the time of The Crusades? The men went off to fight in the "Holy War" plundering and pillage. Meanwhile, the court entertainers would compose and sing ballads, usually, love songs.

3

I would say that romance, attraction and the physical intimacy are extremely vital to the early stages of a relationship. Without it, all two people are really doing is settling for whom ever they could find out of fear of winding up alone.

As time goes on and the business of child rearing and paying the bills begins, it is companionship which will see the relationship through life's ups and downs.

However, without the romance, attraction and physical intimacy of the early stages of a long term relationship, what are the odds that a seed of resentment will begin to grow because two people are disappointed they wound up with someone whom they never, at any point, loved romantically?

3

It's very important.
It's not easy to keep the initial feelings going exactly like they were when you first met each other.

I think it's very important to make a conscious effort to keep that spark going.
It doesn't necessarily have to be a sexual thing, be close to each other.

Do things together that you both like, be friends.

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3

If you buy into the idea that love is just neurochemistry, does that invalidate the emotion? Does it make the emotion any less real?

3

Doubtless, as a lawyer you will favor some kind of contractual agreement. However, I am not aware of any ironclad guarantees in this life. Friedrich Nietzsche said: "Man is the only animal with the capacity to make promises. He has an even greater capacity to break them" Of course, we could throw this one back and forth (why people break promises). One thing that I do know is that is futile to attempt to make someone keep a commitment.

3

Romance is in the chemistry, or it's not.

3

all depends on the person i guess the best thing is to be honest about where you are, and if you even know what you want..

3

Initially, there is a spark and a certain ensuing chemistry when some people meet. Perhaps the chemistry takes the form of a phermonal shower of the senses.
The exhilaration and delight that we enjoy in the company of our new love undoubtedly gives us a chemical high. As teenagers, we become hooked on that high and want it to continue but every up is followed by a down.
We can still experience this as we get older but we know that we need much more than chemistry to keep the relationship going and to this end we may perform a thousand little acts and say a thousand little things.
We either grow together or we grow apart.....

3

better living through chemistry. Prisms make rainbows. Does that mean Rainbows are to be dissed?

2

Well for me not the simple kind of remember Valentines day stuff but deeper connection of souls yes. But I think it is pretty significantly linked to whether you have xx or xy on the 23rd chromosome pair.

2

You need the right chemistry between 2 partners. If that chemistry is still there you have a shot at managing romance. Its a crap shoot.

1

Ok. Sub-question for the biologists out there (or perhaps neuroscientists). Does romance provoke and prolong the chemical processes? If so, then maintaining romance is necessary to maintaining the love.

1

How important is a relationship..? To me, if one is irresistibly compelling, it’s due to romantic feelings ~

Varn Level 8 Dec 31, 2017
1

For me knowing the trick doesn't stop me from falling for it. The chemicals work y'know! But, romance is about behaviour, and compatibility. You can make it, you can fake it, but if your partner doesn't have the same idea of romance as you then you simply won't have a romantic relationship.

1

Before or after Trump?

After?

1

I guess I would call it paying attention and being reciprocal instead of romance. Pay attention to others needs and desires cause it's not just about me and expect who I'm with to do the same. This is something I try to do all the time but I just do more of it when I have a deeper connection with someone.

1

I am horrible at romance and wonderful at romanticizing people. I am not unrealistic and will see the flaws in my partner, but they will be flaws that don't matter. My ex-wife had a rage that would surface sometimes, but mostly in defense of others. The last girl I fell for couldn't stop singing sometimes, but she REALLY couldn't stop singing sometimes. I don't know that it's enough to maintain a relationship forever, but it's what I have to offer. I just need to meet a girl who wants someone to see them, all of them, and see the best of them.

1

A vague term like 'romance' only has meaning to the person who defines it. What may be romantic to one may be idiocy to another.

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