I would forgive the murderer too eventually but only because of the Dilemma of Determinism. Free will doesn't truly exist. So basically what we become depends on what vagina we pop out of. I could have just as easily become that murderer in a different life and there's nothing unique about the fact that I didn't. It's all chance.

This concept is more intimate than child birth or military experience. ....when unexpected violence rips into our lives normal personal power or control is shattered. ....preachers are brainwashing some believers into contrived "forgiveness" blather. ...but for disciplined victims regaining control over revenge feelings and a myriad of other nightmarish daytime anguish, true forgiveness is internal not "given" to perpetrators but to our violated selves healing our wounded minds/bodies

I wouldn't and there fools

Well... in my opinion the whole "justice" system is generally messed up.
About forgiveness - essentially I do not think you have another choice but to forgive, or let go. Anger, hatred, revenge - they will not bring the beloved one back. Up till one point they serve to mitigate the pain of the loss, but after that - they just harm more and should be let go.
I can forgive, and have forgiven. And I would not seek revenge, provided the chance to get it. It will help nobody, nor me, nor the deceased.
And it has nothing to do with Christianity - it is just a general act of humanity. And at least within my personal system of believes, I place forgiveness as one of the three core virtues.

I think that it’s better to get that kind of anger and hatred out of your psyche before it metastasizes into something more virulent. If religion is what you have to use, ok. If all you can do is wish the guy a speedy trip to hell, ok. Frankly, I wouldn’t want to see anyone executed. Not that they don’t deserve it, I just don’t want to subject myself to the horror of seeing someone killed. I’ll find another means of consolation.

That’s all fine and well for the victim’s family. If it gives them release. However, if a convicted murderer killed a family member, I’d want a law stating the victim’s family gets to choose punishment. I vote the sentence to be: a live medical test subject or a live crash test dummy. This way the murderer is giving back to the community and I then can feel better, and maybe have a sense of forgiveness.

Forgiveness, properly done, is never about the one you forgive. It's for yourself.

The old saying is that not forgiving is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Your bad feelings don't harm them at all. You forgive them for you, to take that load off your heart and mind. Finding forgiveness is hard, and sometimes it takes work, but it is necessary for mental health and inner peace.

I think they truly believe that forgiveness helps them heal......i believe this myself. It doesn't mean they don't hate the offendes' actions, but letting hatred fester does no one any good. Why do you believe they are lying about such a momentous thing? It is, IMO, not a "religious" thing at all, but an excellent coping mechanism that you can tap into instinctively, or on the advice of any psychiatrist.

Probably they say "I forgive him / her." more for themselves than for the murderer.

I don't enjoy watching it and avoid watching it