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Dating after 50

Is it just me, or is dating after 50 a nightmare?

It seems like almost everyone is so religious, which narrows the pool significantly.

Then out of those who are left the majority fall into one of these categories: looking for a nurse/care giver,
looking for someone MUCH younger to recapture their youth or REPUBLICAN

Then of the 10 people in your region that are left...you don't like 5 and the other 5 don't like you.

OYE! I think I just need a gay best friend to do things with and a new vibrator.

Crimson67 8 Jan 6
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341 comments

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3

I got divorced two years ago, and decided to enter the dating pool at the age of 64. I thought men around my age would know what they want, and be more together than they were in our 20s. Boy, was I wrong! Guys, I'm sure this is true for some ladies as well. People carry baggage all their lives, and their entrenched habits are worse. I dated a man (briefly) until I discovered he was married. Then I had a LDR with a guy I developed some strong feelings for. We had great sex for months, then he suddenly went back to his ex. I discovered I was only a rebound. I have rebooted myself, and carry no baggage. Why can't people stay out of dating sites unless they are emotionally available?

This!! Spent a week talking to a guy every day. Just before we were to meet, he revealed:
He had dialysis 3 days a week & was waiting for a transplant
He lived in a furnished room
He had diabetes
He couldn't really afford to date.

Don't misunderstand. I'm not without compassion, and I don't expect to be financially supported...but I'm relatively healthy and I'd like to do things that he is unable to do. Sigh. Real talk - ok for a friend but not for dating.

0

You are so right about that! What a clear statement of the problem! I have been looking for 15+ years off and on between a few little relationship, and moving coast to coast and North/South about 10 times, ok....maybe 7-8. Please post or send your picture....On paper you fit for me and I might fit for you. Read my profile ask me anything. If WE don't fit, maybe you have a friend and i would try to think of someone for you....but send those pictures!
🙂)) Dave

1

it sucks at 48 too.. 9 of 10 are religious and then there's those that are looking for a younger guy. i'm about to take a vacation alone. i read summer is a good time to go on an alaskan cruise if you want to see some whales

1

Sad but true than you make it seem so funny,,lOL I guess i will just go and play with myself.

0

My wife's friend is over 50. She's recently divorced, attractive, articulate and well educated. She has a good job with benefits and is not looking for a "sugar daddy". She would agree with your comments! I get the gist of the complaints from my wife. 🙂 So glad I'm not dating!

0

Aw you young people. Wait, (or don't wait), another 20 years or so. There are fewer people with more limitations and all the other stuff you mentioned too.

1

I can relate! Dating after 50 sucks. I am in a far right area (Northwest Florida) and I'm having a harf time meeting non-Christian women. I don't think I can be involved with a Christian woman again after having been dumped by my wife of 11-years because I didn't fully agree with her Christian beliefs. So, now what? There are few single women in my age group, and the single ones are looking for a good, Christian man. But, you never know what the tide will bring in. I try to remain optimistic.

2

If you think dating over 50 is impossible, try over 60!
I'm told i don't "look or act like a typical 65 year old", but clearly that doesnt matter... I guess I'm destined to be "the cool old lady with the cats". ?

P.S. I wrote something similar about 4 months ago and it appears nothing has changed! I decided to start doing some things I enjoy alone. I saw a play on Broadway; went to BAM (in NY) to see Andy Borowitz; have a few other events in the hopper. Going alone is better than not going out alone but...life's better with company.

I feel your pain. I'm in the same boat.

So lucky you live in New York so much to do.I am 66 and disabled and no theaters or knishes or people watching.Enjoy and don't giveup on love I am still hopping.You have a great smile.brian

2

Okay, as a guy that is close to your age. This is my take on what you have said. Yes, as a guy I find a younger woman attractive, physically. But, they don't have the substance to make a relationship work with me. I've dated woman as much as 20 years older than me and 20 years younger than me. I'll take the older ones any day of the week. At our age, it's more about what do we have in common; do we like to do the same things? Then the relationship will naturally happen.

0

Okay, as a guy that is

2

I feel your pain. while I would love to find a long term dating partner, i find it difficult because either they want too much time from me (I am a bit of a loner) or there is just too much drama. guess that is why I live with a cat and a dog.

0

Hon, try swinging!

zesty Level 7 Feb 21, 2019
0

Sorry , i don't mean to poke fun; but you mention religion as being important twice in your choice of a man . Isn't this an agnostic site 😀 sorry again it kinda tickled me . In regards to what you've said i totally agree, its a mine field trying to find a compatible person, once you've breached 50 :-/ . I got happy on my own , and i saw that anyone my age , would have gone through the same mill i have ; Be as messed up as i could be and have a ton of emotional baggage, i am not aware of . So for me it is to risky to want to do the dance of getting to know anyone again , as my heart is too old for breaking again << they mend better when your young 🙂 . Good luck on your quest 😉 .

1

Men my age are always looking for younger women---though they'll insist they aren't. Then others will announce they want to meet women their own age so they can get attention. I gave up on dating sites after making these observations consistently.

0

They are both out there.

0

Dating is always difficult, at any age, specially if you put the bar too high. The older we are, the more we are used to our ways and become more demanding, less prone to change to adapt to other person's ways. What one think is sweet and funny can be annoying to the other and vice versa.We need to start again from scratch, zero, and that is very difficult. For the time being, the new vibrator is a good idea!

2

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2

you're not alone

6

I'm in my late-ish 40's (47) and it's a nightmare. Every guy who approaches me expects sex within the first 10 minutes but always says he wanta to "take it slow". Translation: I'd like to browse Tinder while I simultaneously have your legs up in the air.

P.S. I'm not on Tinder. I also put it out there that I am a relationship girl. Not a FWB type.

The only guy who message me who seem nice also seem to be predominantly Christian, and place importance in their faith. It's very disheartening. I tend to unplug for long stretches of time. Then I get curious if the landscape has changed. I poke my head out; get discouraged again and retreat.

I haven't given up. I just stopped looking a long time ago. Oh; and people who say you'll find live as soon as you stop looking...they need to come up with some better advice.

There has to be chemistry or it's a waste of time. If you don't want to jump in the sack with them......what's the point? Such is life.

Why to wait 10 minutes? Usually it is a much quicker decision.

1

I'm in my late-ish 40's (47) and it's a nightmare. Every guy who approaches me expects sex within the first 10 minutes but always says he wanta to "take it slow". Translation: I'd like to browse Tinder while I simultaneously have your legs up in the air.

P.S. I'm not on Tinder. I also put it out there that I am a relationship girl. Not a FWB type.

The only guy who message me who seem nice also seem to be predominantly Christian, and place importance in their faith. It's very disheartening. I tend to unplug for long stretches of time. Then I get curious if the landscape has changed. I poke my head out; get discouraged again and retreat.

I haven't given up. I just stopped looking a long time ago. Oh; and people who say you'll find live as soon as you stop looking...they need to come up with some better advice.

@FlyingEagle1952 Insufferable comments and poor grammar suck worse.

@FlyingEagle1952 I'm sorry it sucks for you but I'm in excellent health, travel a lot, and do whatever I want.

1

I'm in the boat with you. I am also child free which makes it triple impossible to locate a man who didn't have children.

1

I just moved to Orlando and I am horrified with the number of churches around here...Chances of finding a man in the same page of evolution are minimizing abruptly.

find a metaphysical center......spiritualists are open and you don't have to hear that Jesus Christ bullshit....

oh yeah, I did go to a really cool church in Florida. It's called Humanitarian Universalists......and believe it or not atheists go there. Really cool. None of the JC lake of fire satan bullshit....great progressive thinkers. if you can find one.

I'm back home in Daytona Beach (grew up here) to look after my Dad since my Mom died. I've lived the past 30 years in Chicago. THIS IS CULTURE SHOCK. I don't want to meet any men here in any case!

@FlyingEagle1952 Ease up on the ellipses.

I have lived in Chicago for 30 years. I'm just not there at the moment. While I disagree with your characterizations, I am already well aware of your various recommendations.

Start dating here!

3

It's a brave new world, AI, dating computers, extreme materialism and its concomitant, status? What's left of what we used to know as being human, having human interactions, touching, dancing, just saying hello without suspicion, having an open conversation without offending ones "liberal, conservative or religious" sensibilities? Hard? almost impossible to be "real" because what does it mean in the "new millennium?"

1

Divorced two years after two decades of marriage. I find dating super fun for the most part..... I've met some fantastic people and a few crazies too. For the record....the women I'm least interested in are those with with a long list of criteria because 'they deserve it'. I look for kindness and honesty and have made some awesome friends with people that are on a different path than myself but are still kind and honest. Currently dating a bisexual Republican Christian who's super nice and seems accepting of my vocal atheism....and far left leaning political views. She's also a super cute tiny heat packing NRA member...so there's that too.

I like dating women that give great head.

@FlyingEagle1952 I like dating men who have a great head on their shoulders.

@DeStijl I have a great head......of hair!! I"m not bawd yet.....ha ha...hope you have a sense of humor. I went to a funeral today.....he was an old friend, same age as me....I'm fucking depressed.....getting old sucks...

5

Yep, a nightmare...but not because of religion, in my experience. Biggest problem I see is that men over 50 still want to date 30 year olds. They assume that women their age are no longer interested in sex (wrong) and that they may have a few extra pounds (but their pot bellies are okay). Or they have numerous health problems and they're looking for someone to take care of them and remind them to take their pills...
Not bitter...just a bit disheartened by what I'm seeing.

Na. You have the wrong analogy as to why we look for younger women.

I do not I really like women in my age group 55-70 we have a lot more in common and can talk about subjects and life experience that we both relate to , and we are probably moving at the same speed ..

@SeptemberWoman You love who you love. I'm 32 and dated women in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's, and 60's. In true love the age difference knows no bounds. Here in Virginia Beach, VA I hear that "Oh I wish I could be younger again" from many people. In my book age is just a number. To be honest, there are bad apples in any pot regardless of age and gender. When it comes to dating, more need people rid themselves of the thought of there is a soulmate i.e. the one for them. I’ve personally never believed in the whole concept of “soulmates”. No matter how ahead of the curve you think yourself to be, there will be thousands like you walking the same curve. You will think that you are the only one who has those odd habits, odd idiosyncrasies, or you are the only one awake at that particular hour of the night. But the truth is, there are hundreds, perhaps thousands who are exactly like you. There are plenty of people who would satisfy an individual criteria of Ms. Right and Mr. Perfect. It’s just pure coincidence that you found one of them and were acquainted to him or her and now consider them your “soulmate”. In the end, “the one” is the one you choose, so choose well!!

You don’t choose who you’re attracted to, but you definitely choose who you fall in love with and (more importantly) who you stay in love with.Real love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. Real love isn’t just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling—it’s a deliberate choice—a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health. At the end of the day, what matters is that we VALUE and LOVE the people that are in our lives. It's essential to learn that happiness is more than just a feeling. It is also a choice and the result of a series of choices. We have to choose to appreciate and love those around us.

I have a friend near 80 and we have fun together, a little sex, a lots of talk, and since I've known her a very long time, personal interactions. I like her very much, but I see younger women mentally boring after a brief period of eye candy-ness, but youthfully vibrant and many more open minded then 'older" women. I must take issue with Septemberwoman; religion is the Black woman's life and to a true atheist, annoying as hell..

@Blackmind "Religion is the Black Woman's life.."

Dont understand your comment..?

@SeptemberWoman Black women are the only women I've encounted that ask when you date them, "do you love the lord?" Seriously, for me, and as far as I know only me, it's sickening.

"So, too, do nearly nine in 10 African American women, according to a nationwide survey conducted by The Washington Post and the Kaiser Family Foundation. The poll, the most extensive look at black women’s lives in decades, reveals that as a group, black women are among the most religious people in the nation. Although black men are almost as religious as their female counterparts, there is a more stark divide along racial lines"

[washingtonpost.com]

Hey, my pot belly is sexy!

@Blackmind I don't doubt it. I'm not at all ashamed of being agnostic but I sometimes avoided the subject of religion at work, mostly populated by people of color. Got sooooo tired of explaining: " I respect your faith; I just don't share it." and many looked at me as if I had slapped their children. 😃
But as far as dating, it happened to me too. One dude said to me, 5 minutes into the phone conversation: "Do you know God? You must know God!"

Um...no. #NewPhoneWhoDis? 😉😊

I wouldn't mind dating a 30 year old if they weren't so limited in their thinking and experiences. Today, what would we have in common? I don't do hip hop or any derivative and any man over 40 something who does seriously "date" (whatever that entails), has some issues he should address. I sometimes go out with my young 30 somethings but it's fun because we connect on a different level, a refreshing one, like being with your children. As far as religion among Black women, it's a no no for me and if they don't have the "holy ghost" they have the material spirits and an attitude that usually accompanies it. As for White women..they are white women..they feel your arms to see how muscular you are and really don't appreciate a Black man's mind or world view.. Life is fun..lmao

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