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Do you trust easily or do you trust no one?

I learned a long time ago not to trust anyone. Most people will snitch on you, backstab you after you just helped them out, use you, abuse you, spread rumors about you, etc... I especially had to learn the hard way in the work force. All the managers and crew gossip. It's like we went back into time and are back in high school again. I don't trust anyone anymore. Parents say to trust them, you can't. Friends that I used to have did it too. I tend to keep to myself because of all the drama I try my best to ignore, everywhere. I don't care about anyone else's business but my own. Do you trust easily? I don't.

Sarahroo29 8 Jan 7
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32 comments

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1

If a person has earned my trust. Other than that, hell no! People can’t be trusted! Well...most people, anyway.

1

Pretty much , I use the everything is bull~#%# until proven otherwise. As people demonstrate their lack of bull#*% the trust factor rises. Also, I tend to look at myself more so, in regards to relationships .. platonic or otherwise. Did I not use my intuition? Did I purposely overlook some red flags because I wanted something etc .. that’s not to say I haven’t been blindsided . As a general rule tho, we kind of teach people how to treat us ... so I check myself... and get rid of the nonsense ????

1

No! People suck, plain and simple...

Tokey Level 3 Jan 15, 2018
1

After being blindsided with divorce from a walk away wife of 16 years + 4 years dating... ummm.... yeah... my trust in people is pretty depleted.
It is what it is...

2

My trust is a lot more open for people who wish to have platonic friendship.

clea Level 4 Jan 9, 2018
2

Both, I guess. I tend to treat new people as though I trust them (within reason) until they give me a reason not to. If I cannot articulate a valid reason I cannot trust someone, I give them the benefit of the doubt. However, that said, it takes a very long time before I genuinely trust someone enough that I don't think about how they might actually be deceiving me. Come the end of the day, the only person a truly trust is myself.

2

I am so sorry to read how many people violate you. Perhaps if I share a different yet global trust story of mine THIS MAY HELP. ? EVERY USA VETERAN is trained to give 99% trust with our very lives at stake. The 1 % exception = UN-lawful orders may be counter-manded. Even that situation of trust could result in being shot by the un-lawful commander. A Marsha Mason James Caan movie CINDERELLA LIBERTY entertains both civilian and Navy trust issues. Being trusted is as great a love gift as is being violated a Trojan Horse at work home friendship or neighborhood. Listening to Carly Simon sing kept me human in an UN-human war 45 years ago. I'M glad you trust us co-Atheists here to vent and seek cathartic discussion. Liberty is the Navy word for a pass from on duty base presence. Cinderella is the label code word for a pass that expires @ midnight requiring return to duty post.

4

My trust is readily available to people who demonstrate impeccable integrity, authenticity, and compassion.

Almost no one makes the cut.

I'm fine with that.

That describes how I negotiate and evaluate. ...good job. ...be the model for best behaviour and demand reciprocity

3

Well, I trust other drivers (but I drive very defensively), but on a personal level I trust very few people. Experience.

4

I tend to trust people and usually think positive ,but unfortunately this has not always turned out in my favor

2

Perspective. I tend to be open to all as they approach. A stranger is a friend not yet made. As they get closer, other things begin to kick in. I'm a skeptic, after all, and I've been around for a while -- so I watch, and listen. There are some who raise so many signals on the way in that I sidestep them -- let them pass on by -- outside the circle. Others may raise a couple flags, but they don't appear threatening enough to cause me concern. I let them all the way in but watch them even closer. The third type sounds no alarms and raises no flags. This one gets watched the closest. This one is either highly experienced at being clever and/or deceptive -- OR -- one of those you really want to have around you, to be close to. If they begin to show negative signs and it continues for too long a period, they find themselves summarily ejected from the circle.

If I avoid or dismiss out of hand, I will never find those folks I want at the core.

6

I hardly trust myself

^what he said

1

I've found it is easier to get by if I trust myself. I trust my intuition, I trust I can stand up for myself if I need to, I trust I will not take others behavior as an assault on my self esteem (we treat people the way we do because of who we are. Others treat us the way they do because of who they are - their behavior is a reflection of them not us). With the exception of children, at least hopefully. The only one we are guaranteed to be with our entire life is ourselves. We need to trust ourselves. Let others do what they may. Hopefully we will have some real and meaningful connections along the way, maybe those connections will last a long time, but there is no guarantee they will. If someone betrays me it will hurt but it is out of my control and not a reflection on me. Also, have any of us not betrayed somebody in our life?

2

I subscribe to the trust but verify school of thought. That being said, it's extremely hard for me to completely trust anyone.

Phrases that will immediately turn me off:

  1. What; you don't trust me?
  2. I would never lie to you
  3. I'm a Christian, so you can trust me.

I'm sure there are others but those are the ones I remember off the top of my head.

4

Depends on what's being risked. My general default is to trust but verify. As the stakes go up, the verification gets more rigorous. In long term relationships trust is essential, and must be proactively built. In other words, trust is earned.

skado Level 9 Jan 7, 2018
3

I regret that I must agree with you. Despite human altruism, we are self-interested and self-protecting beings. It may be part of our evolutionary development; I don't know, I'm not an expert on this. At my age I have few illusions about people, how they will turn on you if tested, and it's best to assume the worst and be pleasantly surprised, rather than assume the best and be horribly disappointed about people. But let's also make a wider context point: political ideology over past decades has promoted selfish individualism, a winner and loser culture, a succeed at all costs mentality, it's you against the other guy (person) attitude, and the prevailing ideology and human behaviour are inextricably linked. We build dog-eat-dog societies and then we are surprised that people act like dogs.

I might have to steal that last sentence

1

When I first read your question I said to myself, that I trust people until proven otherwise but after reading the comments, it's more like I give them the benefit of the doubt but I'm pretty careful not to taken for a sucker. I guess I'm skeptical of people the same as I'm skeptical of information.

gearl Level 8 Jan 7, 2018
1

OK, Firstly I read your post, and yep, my experience is the same, I am so disappointed and disillusioned and so deeply. So, I am very critical, I don't just accept things, I check them out. Now when I check a person out, ie a situation comes up where trust is required, i am diligent, and if I can find nothing adverse, I try and give them "ONE" chance to let me down, as I say to anyone, God doesn't get a second chance. The depths people will go to in order to get their own way or to hurt someone always catches me unprepared. Partners have been among the worst for me and the biggest disappointments. But this is why I still trust, I don't want to close the door to the chance that a really nice lady may come along who wouldn't turn on me. Hence giving that chance. Even now thinking how people have acted makes my head spin.

2

I got many levels of trust for different uses. Trust on compartments, works for me.

2

I see trust like a banker sees a loan. You determine whether to put your trust into someone based on their past merit. If you find they do not deserve that trust, and have burned a bridge with you, then you know never to gift that individual trust in the future, regardless of any future merit.

Gohan Level 7 Jan 7, 2018
4

Trust is like firewood, once its burnt its gone forever

1

I tend toward trusting too easily.

1

I don't trust too many people..

2

I tend to trust people easily.

3

I have trusted too much in the past. I have always been a giver. Learned to hold back a little.

You seem like a nice person. People tend to want to take advantage of kindness.

You're right. No more.

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