Agnostic.com

32 7

Do you trust easily or do you trust no one?

I learned a long time ago not to trust anyone. Most people will snitch on you, backstab you after you just helped them out, use you, abuse you, spread rumors about you, etc... I especially had to learn the hard way in the work force. All the managers and crew gossip. It's like we went back into time and are back in high school again. I don't trust anyone anymore. Parents say to trust them, you can't. Friends that I used to have did it too. I tend to keep to myself because of all the drama I try my best to ignore, everywhere. I don't care about anyone else's business but my own. Do you trust easily? I don't.

Sarahroo29 8 Jan 7
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

32 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

2

I take my time.

2

There are a very small number of people I trust, and one or two I trust entirely. I used to trust people unless they gave me a reason not to, but like you I've discovered that most people simply can't be trusted.

Jnei Level 8 Jan 7, 2018
1

I trust people to a certain extent by default.

Conversely, I prefer to sit with my back to a wall, and try to keep myself out of situations where my trust can be taken advantage of.

Trusting but cautious, I guess, and with a small portion truly in my close circle.

3

easily . you have to disprove my faith in you

I agree with you, I trust YOU 100%! I cannot see that if YOU want a relationship to work that you withhold anything. That does not mean to be blind or gullible.

1

Trust no one. I definitely trust family more than mere acquaintances, but at the end of the day I really feel like it's everyone for themselves.

5

Fool me once shame on you,Fool me twice shame on me.

3

I trust people to easily and am a pushover . I have lost thousands over the years to people because I felt sorry for them when they would ask me for loans of money and failed to pay it back

I lost that much to my second husband just before we split up. The dirt bag.

@richiegtt not with money per se but I always have to watch myself as the "projection" for nefarious purposes is absent in me. I hate having to ask myself "what's in it for them" but after past experiences have no other choice. Once a person's trust is broken by someone close it's very hard to go back.

e.g. there is one person in our family who is like a newspaper if you want to save money taking out an ad, just tell them a thing. LOL Funny but also not. With that if someone messes with my kid they've won themselves a lifelong target on their back with a timer attached to it.

3

I have trusted too much in the past. I have always been a giver. Learned to hold back a little.

You seem like a nice person. People tend to want to take advantage of kindness.

You're right. No more.

2

I tend to trust people easily.

1

I don't trust too many people..

1

I tend toward trusting too easily.

4

Trust is like firewood, once its burnt its gone forever

2

I see trust like a banker sees a loan. You determine whether to put your trust into someone based on their past merit. If you find they do not deserve that trust, and have burned a bridge with you, then you know never to gift that individual trust in the future, regardless of any future merit.

Gohan Level 7 Jan 7, 2018
2

I got many levels of trust for different uses. Trust on compartments, works for me.

1

OK, Firstly I read your post, and yep, my experience is the same, I am so disappointed and disillusioned and so deeply. So, I am very critical, I don't just accept things, I check them out. Now when I check a person out, ie a situation comes up where trust is required, i am diligent, and if I can find nothing adverse, I try and give them "ONE" chance to let me down, as I say to anyone, God doesn't get a second chance. The depths people will go to in order to get their own way or to hurt someone always catches me unprepared. Partners have been among the worst for me and the biggest disappointments. But this is why I still trust, I don't want to close the door to the chance that a really nice lady may come along who wouldn't turn on me. Hence giving that chance. Even now thinking how people have acted makes my head spin.

1

When I first read your question I said to myself, that I trust people until proven otherwise but after reading the comments, it's more like I give them the benefit of the doubt but I'm pretty careful not to taken for a sucker. I guess I'm skeptical of people the same as I'm skeptical of information.

gearl Level 8 Jan 7, 2018
3

I regret that I must agree with you. Despite human altruism, we are self-interested and self-protecting beings. It may be part of our evolutionary development; I don't know, I'm not an expert on this. At my age I have few illusions about people, how they will turn on you if tested, and it's best to assume the worst and be pleasantly surprised, rather than assume the best and be horribly disappointed about people. But let's also make a wider context point: political ideology over past decades has promoted selfish individualism, a winner and loser culture, a succeed at all costs mentality, it's you against the other guy (person) attitude, and the prevailing ideology and human behaviour are inextricably linked. We build dog-eat-dog societies and then we are surprised that people act like dogs.

I might have to steal that last sentence

4

Depends on what's being risked. My general default is to trust but verify. As the stakes go up, the verification gets more rigorous. In long term relationships trust is essential, and must be proactively built. In other words, trust is earned.

skado Level 9 Jan 7, 2018
2

I subscribe to the trust but verify school of thought. That being said, it's extremely hard for me to completely trust anyone.

Phrases that will immediately turn me off:

  1. What; you don't trust me?
  2. I would never lie to you
  3. I'm a Christian, so you can trust me.

I'm sure there are others but those are the ones I remember off the top of my head.

1

I've found it is easier to get by if I trust myself. I trust my intuition, I trust I can stand up for myself if I need to, I trust I will not take others behavior as an assault on my self esteem (we treat people the way we do because of who we are. Others treat us the way they do because of who they are - their behavior is a reflection of them not us). With the exception of children, at least hopefully. The only one we are guaranteed to be with our entire life is ourselves. We need to trust ourselves. Let others do what they may. Hopefully we will have some real and meaningful connections along the way, maybe those connections will last a long time, but there is no guarantee they will. If someone betrays me it will hurt but it is out of my control and not a reflection on me. Also, have any of us not betrayed somebody in our life?

6

I hardly trust myself

^what he said

2

Perspective. I tend to be open to all as they approach. A stranger is a friend not yet made. As they get closer, other things begin to kick in. I'm a skeptic, after all, and I've been around for a while -- so I watch, and listen. There are some who raise so many signals on the way in that I sidestep them -- let them pass on by -- outside the circle. Others may raise a couple flags, but they don't appear threatening enough to cause me concern. I let them all the way in but watch them even closer. The third type sounds no alarms and raises no flags. This one gets watched the closest. This one is either highly experienced at being clever and/or deceptive -- OR -- one of those you really want to have around you, to be close to. If they begin to show negative signs and it continues for too long a period, they find themselves summarily ejected from the circle.

If I avoid or dismiss out of hand, I will never find those folks I want at the core.

4

I tend to trust people and usually think positive ,but unfortunately this has not always turned out in my favor

3

Well, I trust other drivers (but I drive very defensively), but on a personal level I trust very few people. Experience.

4

My trust is readily available to people who demonstrate impeccable integrity, authenticity, and compassion.

Almost no one makes the cut.

I'm fine with that.

That describes how I negotiate and evaluate. ...good job. ...be the model for best behaviour and demand reciprocity

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:13522
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.