“You need to put some clothes on,” I replied mildly. Through Fitness Singles, I had asked a man to send me a recent photo since his pictures were too old.
He sent a picture of himself in scanty briefs, standing and holding a guitar above a bulging crotch.
With online dating, leading with naked photos is the hallmark of a douchebag who just wants casual sex. Sending this photo before meeting showed poor judgment and impulsiveness.
“Damn, he’s hot!” I thought. He probably hoped for that reaction. "Down, girl!" my good sense argued. "Pump the brakes."
On the other hand....
At age 63, he is a registered nurse who works in critical care at a hospital. With a healthy lifestyle, he works out, rides a bicycle and has a large garden on one acre of property. He loves hiking, too. Divorced, he raised four daughters. These are good things, to quote Martha Stewart.
But that photo bothers me. Am I being too critical?
Your thoughts?
No you are not. Unless you are looking for just a plaything.
I am probably not a good judge of this behavior, it's the very last kind of ploy I'd use, unless asked; but, I think by this age, 60's and up, a lot of guys just figure to "let it all hang out" and see what happens. They score-great! They get rebuffed-on to the next. Dunno, just my take on it. I could not begin to tell you how you should react, that's totally your call.
Not right before you 2 have a relationship of some sorts and he knows that you even might be into that stuff.
There are articles on this Kathleen. In one case a woman flipped the switch and sent random guys "pussy" shots. (not her own tho lol) Apparently it was a big hit...
It would put me off done too early also. Why in this day & age men don't wait for the cue is beyond me. It's insulting.
I got a crotch shot the other day, but it was clothed, and someone I know. Long story that. Nothing nefarious.
That is so disgusting. I'd have defriended or deleted that person immediately. Most men want to have sex with most women, so someone showing sexual interest is NOT a compliment. What matters is if they see you as a person and are interested in getting to know you.
@birdingnut I left out the context and I more than "asked" for being sent such a pic, without coming right out and saying so. If there was ever such a thing as a "classy crotch shot", I got it.
@PalacinkyPDX not sure if that was for my reply.
Some of these men married young, divorced old, and really have no experience and no idea what they are doing. Men who have spent a great deal of their adult life single are probably less likely to do stupid shit like this. I can honestly say l have never hit on a woman in my life . Most women will signal you when they want to take things to the next level.
No I totally agree. Remeber Maya Angelou's saying: ‘When People Show You Who They Are, Believe Them". I think it's a turn off. We are more than our physical bodies, but some just don't care.
Especially when they show you that MUCH of who they are.
Tell him to send it to Anthony wiener....
Hilarious!
Anyone who posts a nude or partially nude photo, or who references sex, I delete immediately. Their focus should be on getting to know me, not bragging about themselves and acting like I actually WANT to look at their disgusting genitals. There's no reason on earth to give a rat's tail about their bodies if I don't like the way they treat me.
I do not get out much, has the world ever changed. I think your hot, I am married. I can say that as I mean just that. I have no intention of doing anything about it as it is not my place. If you asked me for a better picture I would make myself look good, clean clothes and well groomed, and get a picture. Want to see more, sorry I don't do that. Would not be in good taste. I guess I'm just old fashioned and have good manners. But it is up to you. Not judging just trying to help and be honest.
My 2 cents... fitness singles signals suggests that the members consider a strong and healthy physical body very important. Seems tied to the venue.
People who resort to this sort of tactic have a low sense self-esteem and, to me are extremely shallow. In the end you will get what you see and nothing more.
That is totally up to you. You can either view it as inappropriate or just enjoy the fact he is confident. If there are things about him you like then get to know him better. If you can not get over the pic then move on. Maybe ask him why he sent it. Maybe the answer will help you out. Good luck.
@deiP
Thank you for your kind message. I appreciate your advice.
maybe it just means he put the potato in on the right side....anybody know that joke?
I don't know that joke.
I do not.
i had to copy paste it:
A man goes to the beach...
...and he sets himself up to show off his new beach bod. A few women glance his way, but none strike up a conversation. He looks a little ways down the beach to see lots of women around an older guy who is nowhere near as chiseled as him.
As the crowd disperses, the man approaches his competition and asks the older man what his secret is.
"Sure, I'll tell you! It's real easy. First thing I do before stepping out onto the beach is put a potato in my Speedo. It's a real eye catcher, if you know what I mean!"
Seeing the older man's success, he decides to give it a try. The next morning he stops at the market and buys the biggest potato he could find and heads off to the beach. He sets himself up like the day before and puts the potato in his Speedo, but now even less women are glancing at him. Some are even making comments under their breath.
Confused, the man finds the older man from the day before and asks what gives.
"I did it just like you said, stuffed the potato in my Speedo and everything!"
The older man shakes his head in disgust.
"You idiot! You're supposed to put the potato in the FRONT!"
if this was the early stages of getting to know one and other its a bit icky confidence is one thing but as the old adage goes you never get a 2nd chance to make a 1st impression and i think most people would not have a good reaction to what is an unsolicited near nude pic at 63 you would hope he knows all about consent and what is and isnt appropriate good luck