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Thoughts on kids? Have them? Want them? No!

I'm wondering if non-believers are less inclined to want children. So, where do you fall on the child wanting spectrum?

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silvereyes 8 Jan 9
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3

Daughter (37) who is married with two kids of her own. Son (34) who is also married with two kids of his own. Son (20) not married, living with his dad at the moment. I love being a mom and gandmother. It has not always been easy (and at times downright hard) but I would not change it.

whaat?! you are the mother of kids in their 30s AND a grandmother??! you look AMAZING!!! Really, you do!!

@Sadoi Awwww thank you blushing πŸ™‚ I had my two older children when I was very young (teen mom, teen bride - I don't recommend it...it is better to have kids when you are older and more stable). Life is strange - I am now living alone for the first time ever! I am learning to adjust πŸ™‚

@LizBeth well, its no lip service. You look absolutely stunning to be a grandmother. I actually have two children old enough to make me a grandmother, but alas, neither wants to have children (for now!) lol!! I look like a kid though. I chalk it up to my asian genes. πŸ˜‰ Whatever your genes might be, your children are lucky to have such a youthful looking mother because more likely than not, they will age gracefully as well. When i read your comment, i had to stop midway through to do a double AND triple take, then i re-read the ages of your children Again, then i stopped and looked at your photo again, then i clicked it to see up close and with my own eyes! After that, all i thought was, "Wow!! She looks amaaazing!!!" So it was a drawn out, well thought out process by which i came to the conclusion that you were quite the pretty lady! πŸ™‚

Hi @Sadoi - I looked at your photos and you are very, very pretty! And yes, you are very young looking πŸ™‚ Someday, you be the young looking Grandma (or GiGi as I am called by two of my grandkids). Being a grandparent is kinda awesome too...it is so fun to enjoy the kiddos without the degree of responsibility that a parent has - all the love and fun without near the work and stress. πŸ™‚

@LizBeth Aww thank you LizBeth. πŸ™‚ I chalk it up to the Asian in me. I always tell my friends not be jealous because like all asians, once we hit 70, overnight we turn into the CryptKeeper! hahaha! I see my childhood friends once in a while and they are floored every, single time because they say I never age. Only recently did I find a couple of gray hairs here or there. I was SO Excited to find them too! I love getting grays! Makes me feel justified in my aging. haha! I am not sure, however, if I am ready to be a grandmother! lol!!

@Sadoi you are young for the grandma gig yet. My sister always says she β€˜earned every one of her gray hairs - I am in denial and try to cover every one of mine up!

@LizBeth really? I dig them! I will see them buried in my black mane and im like, "YES! A Gray! SCORE!" I don't know, i think it stems from the fact that i appear much younger than I am and being short and small of stature doesnt help much. Rather, it makes me look even more childlike. I receive condescending behaviour on the daily like, "when you're my age you won't feel that way" And usually im Much older than they are. I suppose, in that, I feel grays make me look... older and wiser. ...ooh... or it just makes me look like im pre-maturely graying! YIKES! I never thought of it like that! oh the horror! hahah

3

Hate them. I find the entire process of having a complete stranger slopping around in my guts for nine months then tearing out of one of the most sensitive areas of my body completely repulsive. I know that's not normal ,but it's just how I feel. I've watched Friends raise kids, that's all I needed to see. Kids just keep becoming bigger and bigger and bigger and bigger pains in the asses as they grow up. There are other ways of contributing to the world Beyond flesh and blood.

Lol this is harsh, but I’ve always seen pregnancy as somewhat a parasite living inside you.

@EmeraldJewel like an Alien waiting to burst out !

@evergreen Lol! Not too far from the truth when you think about it. Can't remember what female comedian said this ,but she said that it was like pushing a Thanksgiving turkey out your nostril. Lol!

@Kojaksmom that statement leaves quite a nasty visual ! ha

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I think in this day and age your just creating pain for your child having one. the human race needs cutting down.

An anti-natalist, I see. There are certainly valid points to be made there.

Yes thank you! I totally agree

@IntellectualRN i too am a anti natalist. My feeling is this, look at the state of the world and where the world is and this is what you're contributing too.

exactly and we cull animals when we spread into there lands.

0

Too late for me to think about that! I already have em! I always thought I would never have children. My childhood was particularly terrible, hence I saw no reason to become a mother. I didn't think I would have the where-with-all to even know how to raise a child. Now, a few kids in to it, I was wrong. I Did know how to be a mother. My cue was to be the opposite of Everything my own mother was. Seemed to work like a charm. πŸ˜‰

Sadoi Level 7 Jan 10, 2018

I'm so happy it worked out for you, @Sadoi! I've found the same formula made me a better parent as well.

@Lauren Aww thank you so much! Any kind words regarding motherhood, to me, are beautiful! I never realized how much I would grow as a mother nor did i realize the capcity, Full Capacity, my heart had to love until i held my children in my arms. πŸ™‚

I totally agree, @Sadoi! No one had prepared me for how raising children makes you confront just about every single issue from your childhood! So I think I'm more evolved for having raised my daughter, and it sounds like maybe you are, too. How lucky we are!

@Lauren I couldn't agree more! You are absolutely correct. I evolved too. Motherhood utterly changed me in so many ways, taught me to challenge mores,laws, norms, etc. I am thankful I have had children because they bless your life in such a way that you cannot imagine. We Are soo VERY lucky, indeed! πŸ™‚

1

Was thinking about this earlier today. In a way having kids is really one of the few ways that you can have a lasting impact on the world. I know I am not exactly ready for kids but someday want at least 2.

5

One son..and unless I won the lotto or became wealthy I would never have another...maybe adopt foster kids though

I'm up for adoption.... just sayin'...

1

Never had 'em, never wanted to - totally content with my choice. I don't really like being around babies either. I prefer animals.

A kind of sad statement I heard from a co-worker years ago : If I could do it over, I wouldn't have had kids. Sure, I love them now they're here , but I see how different my life could have been "

That always makes me sad, too, @evergreen! But how fortunate that you knew yourself well enough to make the right choice for your life.

0

Didn't know I couldn't make them, then I lied and told women I was allergic to laytex for a blow job. I was reciprocal and too willing to 69 please...

2

I have a 3 year old daughter πŸ™‚

3

I would consider adopting or fostering, but I don't really feel the need. I'm certain I don't want to reproduce, however.

1

I don't have any, but want at least one. @Admin, is there a way we can see the poll results by gender?

1

2 girls, 1 boy, all adults and in good health and stability. Great Job Mom!!!!

6

I have 2 kids, 1 official foster kid, about 5 unofficial ones and about another 17-18 kids I have at least partly raised. No more please.

2

I always wanted kids and always imagined I'd have two daughters. My wife, however, never wanted any; and the time has probably passed.

Jnei Level 8 Jan 10, 2018
4

I have a son. He makes me admit that while I like to think my brain has evolved enough to recognize my genes make me do things in service to them when I want to do things in service to all humanity and the world, I can't override them on this. I would do anything for this new vehicle in which half of them now ride. It pisses me off a little. He's one of over seven billion but I'd favor him over anyone, even someone who could cure cancer or end hunger or bring about world peace.

8

Girl 45 teacher, girl 43 restaurant manager , boy 40 mechanic. It's hard to believe they are this old and on their own.

5

I was not ever going to have any, but husband changed his mind ten years later. THEN he died from cancer, leaving me to raise them. They are the very best part of my entire life. They have been fascinating people in a thousand different ways and hold a huge part of my heart.

Zster Level 8 Jan 10, 2018
1

Kids are a mixed bag. they raise your standards but they can be frustrating. they are definitely expensive but I guess so was I .

0

15 year old daughter, 13 year old son. I love having kids, and we have great times. Being an important part of their lives, walking with them as they grow and mature, learning from and with them... I wouldn't trade it for anything.

0

Never had my own kids, but I've got a boat load of nieces and nephews. Some of them now have their own kids. Being an Aunt has been the best job I've ever had. I get to spend a significant amount of time in their lives. In many cases, I spend more time with them than their grandparents. The older kids tease me now about getting older, and I tell them I'm corrupting their children even worse than I did them.

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My kids are grown thankfully. I raised the 4 alone and they are all away at uni. I am glad to be done and would NOT go back or date anyone with young kids. No grands yet and sooooooooooo glad the kids are not ready πŸ˜› I am warming up to grands with babies of cousins and short sessions with a neighbor's grands. Grandmother training I guess...

1

I like the idea of having kids but I am in no way in a position to support them at this moment in my life. Also I look at how frightening the world is these days and wonder if bringing a child into this world would be fair on the child.

That being said, if I had a kid and it was a boy I would call him Seth. Still working on a name for a girl.

1

Royal pain at times. Disasters occasionally. High maintenance costs. Psychological stress. Pride. Shame. Tears. Laughter. Warmth. Occasional loss. Occasional gain. No regrets. Love them all. All four.

1

Always wanted kids but never had any.

skado Level 9 Jan 10, 2018
1

None currently, and no desire to ever have any.

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