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Defining Lonely vs Alone

To me they are near synonymous. Does being alone not indicate lonely? When I am lonely it is how I feel.

I feel sad. No contact via voice or people. No being able to reach out and touch someone nor see them. No sounds from even their voice feels silent, and empty.

What does each mean to you? I see there as quite the same thing.

"I am lonely in places I didn't even know existed inside me." Nikta Gill

I also find it ironic that the picture I'm sharing was a quote by Mother Teresa.

JustLuAnn 7 Jan 12
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19 comments

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1

Be careful about being caught up in Ego. Those are merely words that one can become lossed in. We are not meant to be isolated from one another, for in that growth , experience can not be truly seen , or made aware to the self. We definitely have a space where only we dwell in our own space , and that is fine . Who and if we share that with another or many is our choice. Perhaps consider what is causing you to feel this . Resentment, anger , sadness are emotions that can cause us to remain in a holding pattern that is not for our highest good! The Ego thrives there . Remember the Ego is false and all you have to do is acknowledge it and keep it moving! You don’t have to transcend it , destroy it or subdue it; just realize it doesn’t serve your highest good. Peace be with you????????

1

I can only try to imagine what your loneliness is like. Although I spend a good bit of time alone in my apartment, I do get at least some contact with other humans, and I do have a few friends and a modest social life. However, there have been times in my life that I have been lonely, and I know it can hurt. It can be boring and deadening. And I am really very sorry that your life is the way it is.

I am glad you found Agnostic.com, and I hope very much that you can find a way to be with other people sometimes.

0

I really value the time when I get to be alone. People tend to be more often interruptions than pleasant company. I've just developed reclusive tenancies as I have gotten older.

1

No, I'm not lonely, I'm only here by myself
Got the radio, got the record show, got the books waiting on the shelf
No, I'm not lonely, I'm only passing time
In a week or two I'm telling you it's gonna turn, turn out fine (Lindisfarne, 1978)

Much as I enjoy the company of others, I like to be alone, I need my own space and hate being surrounded by people. Fortunately, my wife also needs her own space, so we get along just fine.

That should say Lindisfarne 1978.

Edit facility not working for me.

1

I work a job where I’m alone ~90% of the time, I could scream at the top of my lungs and people would most likely not hear me over the noise of machinery. I only feel lonely there when I’m lonely in other places in my life. What part of your life is missing? It does not nessisarily need replacement of the same kind. After losing a lover, a friend can help to comfort, but if your like me you don’t have many friends available because everything is busy for you and friends. Iv been told that seeing a therapist is helpful, but I think I know how you feel, you miss genuine people, not that anyone’s fake just not fully invested.

Genuine people are a rarity. I think I have found some real ones there that seem genuine. Only time will tell.

1

"alone" = my preferred state, in which I feel most comfortable and free

"Lonely" = how I sometimes feel when I observe other people enjoying one another's company. Then I remember what people are like and I happily go back to my books.

1

I’ve only felt lonely when around people

1

"lonely" implies a longing for something, or someone. And it can be felt while with others, or not.

"alone" - as I see it, simply means absence of other humans. Alone-ness can be a wonderful state. A time to create, to concentrate on one's own needs and preferences. It seems we all have varying needs regarding being alone. Some, like me, tend to thrive in it, while others dread being alone with no one to distract them from their own thoughts ...

1

Being alone and feeling lonely are choices sometimes one doesn't even know one is making. Did it for years, now found meetup.com free thinker groups to hang with and it feels great!

jeffy Level 7 Jan 12, 2018
2

Lonely is a negative inside feeling, being alone is, well, nobody else in the house/building/place.

3

You can feel lonely even in a crowd of people. If you isolate yourself and don't talk to other people loneliness can occur. Suggest any activity that allows you to build self esteem. For me it was this site talking to people, taking a chance and dating locally, setting goals to reach a level and surpassing it. Try not to shut yourself off from others. I did and it was lonely.

3

I am alone often, I prefer solitude most of the time.
I don't really like people all that much, so I tend to avoid them.
I have a dog. Best companion ever. I am rarely lonely.

Agreed, especially about dogs. Unconditional love animals.

0

As an introverted person, I really enjoy being alone... I go shopping, take myself to a movie, read a book in a small coffee shop, etc.

Sometimes, when I’m with or around people that are grouped together, whether it be love partners or with their children, I feel lonely... to me they are very different!

6

I think it depends on the person. Personally, I like being alone and enjoy my own company. Of course I do get lonely here and there, but for me alone does not equal lonely.

1

Lonely involves my yearning for the company of another/others. Alone just means no other person is present, BUT I might not necessarily be yearning for company. I experience both in my day to day as a widow. I am alone a lot, but only lonely at certain points in the day.

Zster Level 8 Jan 12, 2018

Having read your other post, THIS one now has more meaning. Soon after loss, "lonely" could be pretty huge and all encompassing. Loneliness loosened its vicious grip on me as time passed between now and the day of loss. It took a long time and is not something I ever want to weather again...

4

Lonely is a need not being met either physically, emotionally, or intellectually. You can be lonely in a crowd or at a family function or even alone.

You can be alone and not have a need like; enjoying the peace and quiet and/or doing something you enjoy.

Betty Level 8 Jan 12, 2018
2

you can be more lonely with the wrong people

1

I have been alone for much of my life, but wasn't lonely. I was alone again when I separated (tho I had kids) , but not at all lonely> Then I had a powerful relationship, and when it ended, I finally knew what it was like to feel lonely.

I think the more you love, and then they go. I think it makes it worse. Does intense love create intense loneliness? Maybe it does. Perhaps both are equal.

@JustLuAnn When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful, look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Gibran

3

You will Never feel as lonely as when you are in a " committed relationship" and the other person has acrually checked out without mentioning it!

I agree with you wholeheartedly but then again perhaps it is time to move on if that is the case. Unless you feel it will change someday. There is always hope.

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