Ex

Before, during, and after the marriage, I called her and my father-in-law by their first names.

Deceased.

I've never been married so I can't speak from experience, but here's how I think I'd respond in your stead: “I want to have a close relationship with your mother and I really do feel close to her, but ‘Mom’ is reserved for the woman who spent so many years providing for me and caring for me and bringing me up to be the man I am today. I mean no disrespect, but I'm just not comfortable calling anyone else ‘Mom.’”

Dead. When she was still alive, I called her Virginia and Mom. Loved that woman a bundle and a half.

What does she wants to be called, that is the real question..... Try all options, figure it out.

Being called Mom by someone not related is a super high honor imo and has to feel right to both.
I would never insist on such a thing in that position but that's me.

My mom calls her mil mom. So does my aunt.

Its just the way my family is.

Ex

Since my mom passed away, I asked my mother-in-law if I could call her Mom. I know she is not my real Mom, but it makes me feel closer to her,

Dead! She has been gone quite a few years now, but she was the coldest of women when she was alive. I called her mother when she was alive as that is what my husband called her. My own mother was always Mum.

In the beginning , if I was speaking with my boyfriend , I'd say , your Mom . Or if speaking to someone else , his Mom . Occasionally , by her name . By the time we'd separated , I was working at purging her from my mind altogether . I can remember later , when I found out she'd died , sitting at my desk singing in my mind , "Ding dong the witch is dead , which old witch , the wicked witch ."
I hereby apologize to all witches . I actually enjoy witches . They are wise , intelligent , and often self educated .

I called her Linda her real name was Marie. I just liked fucking with her.

Generally I called my inlaws by their first names. They were kind of standoffish, and the daughters in law were not on the same level as the sons.

Ma'am

1st name seems to be the way to go here anything that makes you uncomfortable should not be up for discussion

She is actually like a second Mom to me..but she is 92.....so out of respect for this grand and wise old lady..I stick to Mrs Clinch ..her Surname.

Dead?

First name

Elphaba

When I was married I called her by her first name once and my husband laughed and laughed at me. I thought I got her name wrong! Apparently I was supposed to call her Mrs. So-and-so. Um, no - I was not comfortable with that so I just avoided addressing her in any way for 20 years lol.

I agree with you. If I had a mother-in-law, I would call her by her given name. I have a mom and a dad. But, my daughter's friends call me "Ma or Mama" and it doesn't bother me in the least.

Mum. It's the grandmother name she chose for my daughter to call her when we married into the family. It's just easier to call her the same thing the kids do. Hubby calls my folks "your mom " and "your dad " - they don't have the best relationship ?

Deceased.

I call her Karen. It's been 18 years, I don't see that changing.