What an interesting conversation, Victoria!

I would like to think that I could and would choose the person over a medical or age condition.

I love the Person! Sex can be a pleasant adjunct, and there are many ways to enjoy it even among those without ED, for example foot fetishes, S & M, DIY while being observed (just got thru watching "Being There"! yowza!)
If you want to be truly happy in bed, as a woman liking men, i would say a stiffy is the least effective part of it!

The old adage was that it wasn't the first time you couldn't manage a 2nd, but the 2nd time you couldn't manage a 1st that was the problem. Age, illnesses, lifestyle and many other things can be a problem. Despite reading often that women are ok with it, when I was 42 I swam through a school of irukandji, a very tiny jelly fish that causes major problems here in Oz. I was not feeling well later that night, and the next morning, the 1st time in my life I couldn't manage it. Wow, talk about problems, yelling and all that I no longer thought her attractive. Last week I was carrying some timber, ok, a BIG piece of timber and strained some muscles, yesterday I was told that one of our sessions was not up to par on my part. I thought I was doing well considering the pain. I think women have it easy in this department, guys are expected to perform and it is a big ask at times. Do women see a guys performance as a measure of their own attractiveness?

I'm at a point in my life where 99% of value is going to be upstairs, so anything after that is a bonus.

There are lot ways to satisfy a woman.
erectile dysfunction can be cured though...

This is from my notes from a CPD event organised by Pfizer (makers of Viagra):

Erectile dysfunction is an indicator of the state of the blood vessels. It is an early indicator of the risk of heart disease and stroke. If you have ED you should get checked out and consider changing your lifestyle (more exercise) and eating habits. It is NOT an inevitable consequence of ageing.

Replying to other comments: A woman can usually have at least three orgasms during a session. I can usually only have one. I derive a lot of pleasure from a woman having an orgasm so that's where my focus is. Ideally her third and my one occur simultaneously and are followed by cuddling and stupid talk - assuming I can stay awake.

Every man will suffer from ED at some point in their life, for whatever reason. But remember that you are with a willing partner so you can please them in other ways. I'm very much into giving oral stimulation anyway so when it happens to me it won't be a problem.

I am 66 and gay. My partner of 19 years died in 1999 and I have been on my own since. I have always been more into frottage, body contact, kissing and cuddling than any form of purely genitally related sexual stimulation. It's probably why I am HIV- while everyone around me has either died or is living a life on meds. Recently, I have experienced ED. The meds are extremely expensive and not covered by my insurance and they don't seem to work very well. I would love to find a similar partner but they are as rare as hen's teeth in the gay world so far as I know. In fact, I've never met one.

I can't say for sure - but if the emotional bond was strong, maybe. Especially being bi, I've had lovers without male apparatus, and sexual interchange was lovely. So many options !

My neighbor, who is now on husband #4 (they all eventually had bad health), confided in me, before she got married this time, that her new guy was impotent, and that she didn't mind at all ! They seem to be very happy and supportive of one another. So there ya go ...

It could be great as long as there is arousal involved. However, w/all this talk of ED and men being on cialis or viagra, I'm wondering at what point people will understand that women also suffer from a lack of arousal as we age. It would be nice if the scientific community would work harder at developing a pill that helps women w/this problem. A while back, they were going to come out w/female Viagra, but later scrapped it due to the same side effects men experience while taking the little blue pill. It would be nice to live in a society where people also cared about female arousal and orgasm.

do drugs

I think that our society has way too big an emphasys on "performance" whether in the board room or the bedroom. So to see this post is quite refreshing especially as someone now into his 70's I am also personally no longer as physically capable as I once was, not from any mental baggage but purely from an age related deterioration of the machinery.

I just got out of a ED relationship. Although he didnt present it as that he merely claimed we needed to be in love before we have sex as making love has to come first. I said to myself perhaps I had been doing it wrong all this time lol!
So a few months go by. He is lavishly spending money on me and planning vacations. Took 5 dates just to kiss me. (For the record we both are divorced and have one child each near same age) so this wasnt a virgin. He was 52 i was 47. I assumed "other" things would happen while we were waiting to fall in love. Then he tells me a horrific story of his parents- his dad was a surgeon and his mom was a beautiful stay at home mom. They were first generation Latvians and this was back in the 90's. Hos dad was having ED issues(this was before viagra) they lived upper state NY where divorce was complicated so they managed to stay together. Wife was having affairs and flaunting it in hubbys face who loses his mind one day and strangles wife then kills himself. My boyfriend tells me this and says he has fears of same. It was too much not so much in the fact we didn't have sex or anything close to it, but that he beat himself up and repented to god for his thoughts of us...hr asked me to masterbate for him so im thinkin yes we are getting somewhere...immediately after he stresses over the guilt and passes out after several cocktails. Went to church next day to ask forgivness and thats when i had enough.

Dont think ill be able to date anyone w ED until my own life changes happen and I lose interest in sex and only need companionship

I've always wondered if circumcision causes abnormally high rates of ED . It does mean the removal of the most sensitive part of the penis after all !

I wouldn't. But if you're already in a relationship and your partner starts to have erectile problems, I think it can work out because the foundation of love and intimacy has been established previously.

I will bend the rules slightly as a bi-male. Love and relationships are not just about sex. Some men have trouble getting and keeping an erection, it's an unfortunate fact of life. I'm sure there are women and men out there who fall on the asexual spectrum that would like a relationship where the sexual side takes a complete backseat to the rest of the relationship.