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Dating dealbreakers

What are your dating dealbreakers? That is, what characteristics absolutely remove a potential partner from consideration?

A2Jennifer 8 Jan 29
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52 comments

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2

From a guys veiw.... 1. bad posture 2. Bare fingernails. 3 implants 4. Painted hair 5. Smoker
That's enough....

I thought guys liked implants.

Ok is painted hair - hair dye? Or chalking or? Any of the above. lol Never thought I'd dye my hair until it came in like a dudes. With the grey side wings. Just can't do it. Will go grey when I have more of grey or more precisely - white!

@HippieChick58 its a sign of insecurity. Like a guy walking around with super big arms. So what..

@RavenCT. Pink hair . Green hair. Different multi colors. ...

@HippieChick58. It's a visual eye catcher... it's also trailer park guys that like that. I like an all natural lady. Natural beauty is awesome. Not all that make-up. Class turns me on.

@BucketlistBob Good clarification. Most guys can't pick out a good dye job.

@HippieChick58 You know I think that might be a porn industry myth? I was offered an implant after Breast Cancer surgery - but I'm kind of content with my A and my D sides? Maybe it's the feminist in me. Or my older cousin saying "Now I have one that points forward and one that points at my belt". Every women of this generation in my family got hit with it so I have some word of mouth to go on. Or it could be that I could really notch an arrow now unless I have my prosthetic on? lol

@RavenCT. I've seen this in ladies I had to help out. Some in nursing homes. To me it's a badge of honor when you could save yourself by removing a breast. It sucks dealing with prosthetic. My ex Sunday school teacher across the street from me had to have both of hers removed and she and he have radiation treatments. He just retired. What a kick in the ball's. All the money they have spent. Geeze!

@BucketlistBob Oh I still have two! The A and D reference is about sizes! My mom had a total though so I am not put off by that at all. And yes trying to erase the experience is not my goal. I feel for your friends! Breast cancer risk increases exponentially in age. And radiation suxs.

I totally agree about bad posture. Ick, ick, and more ick! Stand up straight.

Bare fingernails? As in unpainted?

I agree with you on implants. My personal preference. I've had small breasts my whole life and I like them just fine -- and they are still in almost the EXACT position they were 30 years ago! Yay! My exception to my dislike of implants is for women whose breasts have been completely transformed by age, weight loss or illness. Then I support it. But, to simply have bigger ta-tas....ugh.... Just my opinion. There are still plenty of women I know and love who have them though.

@HippieChick58 I actually know plenty of men who do not like implants more or better than natural. Many.

Quote: @HippieChick58. It's a visual eye catcher... it's also trailer park guys that like that. I like an all natural lady. Natural beauty is awesome. Not all that make-up. Class turns me on.

@BucketlistBob I wear make-up -- but I strive for it to not be excessive. And, I think I'm pretty classy. Not fem-fem classy. But tomboy classy. 🙂

4

Deal breakers: Repukelican, not circumcised, bad teeth, lives with his parent(s), jobless (unless retired), cat hater, adamant home body. I'm sure there are more; hence, why I'm single!! Thank goodness I ADORE my own company!! 😉

When I was young, I remember having the very common "Ewwwww" reaction to even the idea of an uncircumcised penis. But, as I got older and wiser, I find nothing at all to dislike about it.

In fact, were I to have a male child today, he would not get circumcised. I just believe the science -- no medical reason to do so, so why mutilate it. (Just my opinion.)

Not sure if my first message reply went through, but I will again state: the only thing I want to peel and eat is a banana.

Yeah, you don’t have to LOVE cats but you have to be ok with mine!

@SKDeitch I actually DO make my preference known WAY before I'm in bed with someone.

@SKDeitch I actually DO make my preference known WAY before I'm in bed with someone.

@SKDeitch Differences are what the make world go 'round. I appreciate honesty and openness, so I am always honest and open. To a fault, maybe, but I yam what I yam.

I'd go out with almost anyone; dinner is different than sleeping with someone.

20

Well, she has to be breathing.

Lol

there are standards and then there are standards.

Good to know! rofl

@RavenCT well there are laws!

@HippieChick58 you have to draw a line somewhere.

I'd never meet anyone if I had those standards...
"So is your sepulcher spruced up or wha'?"

@HippieChick58 And Never Lower Them. Never.

11

Biggest deal breaker for me, lack of vagina. I say that humorously, but it is true.

ya like what ya like.

I would have agreed but I have dated a girl who had a condition that required removal, it was hard, and sympathy ruled, so it wasn't a deal breaker,but I think having a penis would be.

@Rugglesby dealbreaker for me is either penis intact or removed.

Dude. What. The. Hell. Happened.

@ChrisCamper @FrayedBear It was a precancerous condition called vulval intra-epithelial neoplasia and it is a most terrible thing for a woman to go through, the surgery is extreme and even if possible sex is unlikely as both parties would be put off. And yes, it all gets removed quite often.

@Rugglesby Oh my gosh......how sad. 😟

7

Having kids (I know, I'm a heartless witch), drug or alcohol dependency, jobless, no ambition, clingy.

I feel obligated to tell my younger friends that don't have kids that they don't have to have kids.

What if they had no ambition because they won at their career already?

All those -- but I'm okay if the kids are self-sufficient adults.

@Atheistman I'm cool with that.

@ChrisCamper I suppose that would be OK as long as they have something else they are passionate about or at least interested in.

13

Bad personal hygiene, Baby Mama Drama. Kids still at home. Substance abuse issues and by that I do not mean occasional usage. Chronic unemployment. Fiscal irresponsibility. Choosing NOT to read. Bad grammar. Too much excess baggage, we all have some but please have it downsized to carry on. Distance. Being a Republican or worse a fan of Der Donaldo.

@josh_karpf I won't have a TV in my bedroom. I don't keep a computer in the bedroom either, except for the cell phone. I usually read a chapter or two before sleep, or three, or... well if it is a weekend.

@HippieChick58 I hope the phone is at least 8 feet from your head.

@FrayedBear Well, sadly it isn't. It is also my alarm clock so it is within arm's reach. And yes I know it should be,

Yup, yup, and yup! Every single one of yours would be on my list that I don't have to make now! Thanks @hippiechick58!

@BlueWave Glad to help out!

8

Lying about the important stuff. Little white lies to prevent ruining someone's day are ok - lying on big issues? Nope.

I am right there with you -- well almost. I actually don't like little white lies either and always try to find an alternative to lying. Sometimes that means deflecting. I believe in Meaning What you Say and Saying What You Mean and I try to practice radical honestly. And, sometimes I choose to keep my mouth closed.

@BlueWave I have to admit keeping my mouth closed is a definite go to. However when someone asks me "How's my hair?" and they've had a knit cap welded to their head due to the weather? I tend to lie. It might be a New England Thing? Though I believe I did say "Like you have hat head." at least once. I was fairly certain they wanted an honest answer.

@RavenCT LOL!!! That's funny! See, I just don't think people should ask stuff like that. Just my opinion. 🙂

@BlueWave Does this make me look fat? OMG! Why? Why ask that! The horror! lol - But I also don't wear hats - well except for a few hattery hats - but not in a while. I have too damn much hair now to wear hats. It became curly after radiation and it just doesn't fit! Have never in my life asked "Does this make me look fat?". I might ask - "Is this straining at the seams?" but that's pertinent info.! lol And I can't see my own arse. Had a really embarrassing situation in third grade when someone dropped me a from a piggy back and my rear seam on my corduroy bell bottoms just let go, Frankly I'm pretty clear on what makes me look bad? lol

@RavenCT LOL!! Yup -- all that!

Yikes! How embarrassing! 🙂

23

Bad hygiene, being a bad human, religious zealot, Trumpanzee, drama llama, narcissist, psycho or sociopath. I'll start with those...

Trumpanzee - LOL

Thanks for Trumpanzee.

Oh my figurative god Trumpanzee is an absolute gift

there are many really

@jeffy OMG I will so use Trumpanzee!

11

Having a murder charge within the last year

Lmao @ within the last year.

IMO there are worse crimes than murder....genocide, environmental irreperable destruction, animal extinction, colonisation, rape, governmental dereliction of duty in health, housing for all, etc.

@FrayedBear oh yah. I would never date a corporate politician or dictator

@Rudy1962 Still leaves a few million undesirables you have not excluded. 🙂

9

I know it sounds callous to say, but being financially self-reliant, owning a car if necessary for employment, having at least a GED, good personal hygiene and free of all definite crazy flags (overly jealous, narcissistic, clingy, pushy) are all necessary criteria.

I’m sure I have more shallow deal-breakers, but those are key.

I don't think those are shallow.

@BlueWave

I just meant I’m sure I have deal-breakers that are more shallow than the ones I listed, lol. Like I probably wouldn’t look twice at a guy my age who still uses a chain wallet.

SO not callous. Those are all fair expectations in a potential partner.

6

People who litter, consistently dirty fingernails, being rude/disrespectful to waitstaff/customer service providers, drug dependency (script or illegal)

Agree with all of it except for the fingernails comment. Am a bus mechanic and it's almost impossible to keep my fingernails clean.

I would make an exception in the case of someone who performed a job that required them to get dirty. The fingernail remark was more of a hygiene issue, not manual labor. I cooked at a restaurant a million years ago. It was impossible to get the smell of onions off my hands.

5

This is hard actually, I know many things about me would be deal breakers for well over 90% of women, so I try not to be judgemental, but the first page of deal breakers would include any form of addiction (bloody auto correct, took 3 attempts)with the exception of coffee and sex (might find more exceptions), lying, severe mental illness - I am over exposed to this one, self centred, unkind,

@FrayedBear thanks mate, I am not used to auto correct.

5

Not having the ability to compromise, anger issues. I can deal with some anger issues but when you start punching things, we have a problem. And controlling, you can be controlling in the bedroom to a degree, but the moment you start trying to control who I hang out with and what I wear? Bye bye.

Yup! And, on that note, I know for a fact I don't want to be with a submissive/un-dominant/same ol' same ol' lover ever again.

@BlueWave More fun to switch that up anyway, Have read enough on the subject that a lot of men would benefit from some domination in the bedroom for stress relief. (So do women). And I don't mean whips and chains. (Think Fifty Shades - that was a really vanilla version of Dom/Sub). Not that most people get that.

2

Going to answer my own question - most have to do with incompatible values: Trump supporter, uneducated, catholic/evangelical/religious fanatic, science deniers, still married/involved with someone else. Axis II Personality disorders.

Thank you!! So many people don't answer their own questions -- I love it when people do!! 🙂

2

Well, from just reflecting on the kinds of people I don't get along with, I would say someone who lacks compassion; someone who is controlling and tries to tell me what to believe; someone who is critical. If they diminish others or bust boundaries, I'm not a big fan.

I like people who are passionate and ambitious; self-improvers; self-educators. People who are positive and respectful.

1

Fluoride-free toothpaste.

1

Too much distance. Smoker. Heavy drinker. Liar. God - fearing. Trumpster !!! So there ! 😉

Oh my gosh!!! So, about a month ago I paid for a match three-month subscription. BIGGEST waste of $75 EVER EVER EVER!

I still glance at it when it sends me a notification. I'll be flying through choosing "remove from search" over and over, but it only takes that millisecond to glance at the first sentence of their intro and it FLOORS me to see "God-fearing man seeking a god-fearing woman...." WTF -- that's what is important to you???? See why it was a waste of money for me? (Wish I knew the code for rolling eyes emoji.)

3
  • inability to have a good conversation
  • lack of interest in others / only self-interested
  • rudeness, especially to food servers and other service workers
  • classist / racist / etc
  • hypocritical / double standards
  • unkind
  • no appreciation for music (their tastes don't have to agree with mine, but not liking music at all?? Clearly soulless
  • has a laundry list of deal breakers (lol)

That was funny! I agree with all this!

2

Smoking, dependent children or wants children.

Agree!

0

Low sex drive, being judgemental, being too negative, being stoned more than 20% of the time, being a literal prostitute (you wouldn't think that needed to be said. It's been an interesting 2018)

No I didn't want the smiley

0

A bigger penis than me ....

Okay, I'm confused. Your profile implies you are hetero. So, how would a woman have a bigger penis than you?

4

Racism will end a date in a matter of seconds. Rabid support for the Cheeto in Chief would end the possibility of continued dating and so would evangelical behavior. Other than that the normal stuff... a poor attitude, rudeness, bad hygiene...

lol lol lol gasp Cheeto in Chief!!! lol lol lol rotflmao

3

Bland topics of conversation, low vocabulary skills, squeaky voice, cursing if I wanted to hear the F word every other word I would stop by a prison. if she does not like kids, I can't have anymore, mine are always with me. dose not care for animals.

8

Poor personal hygiene is a big non-starter.

2

If they don't know how to cook, if they're stupid, if they listen to lil wayne ir most "rap" of today, if the don't like pets, if they don't have a job or sciurce of income, if they don't like kids, if their nise is too big

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