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QUESTION Atheists Are Brainwashed By The Scientific Method

A new study reveals an overwhelming percentage of atheists are brainwashed. These so-called skeptics, humanists, and Satanists stopped submitting to the faith of their fathers only to put on the yoke of servitude to the scientific method.
The study titled The Enslavement Of Freethinkers by Professor Andrew Canard was recently published in the Journal of Crytpointelligence. Professor Canard teaches at the Theological Institute of Technology (TIT). His courses include Cryptoepistemology and Alex Jones I and II. The professor is a longtime skeptic of skeptics and their methodology:
My new study shows atheists are brainwashed by the scientific method. A full 83% of atheists take it on faith that the process of systematically testing hypotheses by vigorous methods and getting results capable of getting replicated is the best way of knowing about the world.
5,307 self-identified atheists answered questions exploring their sad and atheistically miserable lives. Even though 88% state they lead happy and fulfilled lives only . 5% go to church regularly. “That’s a clear sign atheists don’t know what happiness is. How can you know if you’re spiritually fulfilled if you’re not in church regularly?” pointed out Professor Canard.

Dougy 7 Jan 30
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61 comments (51 - 61)

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1

Dr. Canard's study resembles his name.

cava Level 7 Jan 30, 2018
1

We are all "brainwashed" by our experiences. If you were told in childhood to "go UP to the basement and go DOWN to the attic" using up and down incorrectly for years and years...you would have up and down all boogered in your vocabulary of vertical direction...compared to the rest of society.

But that's not really brainwashing -- that would be simply a learned behavior.

0

Good satire

0

Lol, funny. Too bad there's so many Athiests and Thiests these days who have both abandoned the Scientific method. It is intended to erase all bias and presuppositions. Yet in today's laboratories one scientist says "Look at this new data, Hail Darwin!", another scientist sees the data and says "Look at this new data, Hail Mary!", then a third walks into the room, looks at the data and says, "the printer is running out of ink, this is only half the data I was printing you idiots! Fix the printer and go make me a coffee I got work to do!"

0

An entertaining piece. I am alarmed that some folk take it seriously, though. Does it really need to have SATIRE written across the top?

0

Classic example of how the human brain can malfunction." Religion is a mental disease, atheism is the only physician that can effect a permanent cure" -Joseph Lewis.

0

Satire detected. Well done. I clearly passed the test, as so few failed to do.

0

Reminds me again of George Carlin. What are you eFFin Stupid? As if this Canard guy has any credibility? Like the guy below: Theological Institute is all I need to read. Goodbye!!

And How can you know if you’re spiritually fulfilled if you’re not in church regularly?” This is so stupid I want to shoot myself in the head. This is like asking if standing in a church makes you a christian, does standing in a garage make you a car?

Please, don't shoot yourself ... take another look at this article ... it's satire!

0

????

KenG Level 6 May 20, 2018
0

I laugh because It’s amusing, but also I’m sad because prople are stupid.

0

"...take it on faith that the process of systematically testing hypotheses by vigorous methods and getting results capable of getting replicated is the best way of knowing about the world."

That's not true.

We state correctly that it's the best way we know of so far. And we know that by comparing the methods put forward so far to each other. The scientific method stands alone. There is a reason history changes so abruptly with its discovery.

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