Yes! I was raised in church and it still seems so odd to have Sundays "to myself" (I work weekends and have an 8yo, no day is to myself). But more than that is the community. The UU (Unitarian universalist church) accepts all fairths, or lack thereof, and provides that sense of community. I personally found it in our home school co-op.

Religions are set up to play on your fears to keep you in line. If you don't do this, that will happen. Be good or pay the consequences. Be good or go to hell when you die. It's bunk. When you die, you'll go where everything else goes, wherever that is. Your parents have your best interest at heart. They don't think they're lying to you, even if they're mistaken. What I'm saying is, don't worry. Relax. Life is for living and enjoying. Not everything in religion is wrong. The Golden Rule is not a bad thing or a bad way to go. Just don't let the religious stress you out. All just my opinion. Not to be confused with fact.

In effect, it IS like breaking up. Long-term relationships and circumstances sort of create and exist within a certain version of yourself and how you identify psychologically. When that changes, there's a period of adjustment where you have to reform your identity, and you're having to grieve the parts of that you which were lost. And grieve all the things that become separate of the new self you're trying to form. And toxic relationships, especially ones which have a direct influence on every other aspect of your life and social sphere, can require even more of a grief and rebuild process because the last version of the self it has to go on is dysfunctional and fails to provide any useful or helpful framework for the new self.

The answers are vaguely unhelpful things like 'time' and 'be patient' and 'you're young, these crises of identity are normal and part of your growth' and so on. But you left for a reason, and now the priority is creating a self that no longer relies entirely on that single aspect, and you have the ability to do it more on your terms. And maybe you'll decide to go back one day, but especially if it's all you've ever know it's important to acquire and develop new perspectives before making grand, lasting existential assertions of the the self.

i feel for you, but no, i did not go through it. i didn't have to leave any church, for example. i was raised in a secular jewish family and i came to the realization, age 15, that there were no gods. this was a surprise but not a shock. it didn't even seem worthy of announcing -- i mean,to whom? who would care whether or not i believed in a god? my life didn't change on account of that.

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Yes, I know how you feel, the I have a Hole feeling, needing to fill it. You'll learn more, grow more, and realize that "inner hole" is what makes us great as human beings-- we are always striving for more. Religion will fill it for a little while but it'll always be there, pushing us, motivating us to DO BETTER.

Religion is for those of us that NEED that kind of structure, because not a lot of people can figure out what's right from wrong on their own.

I feel your pain of being separate from your friends and those experiences, been there. There are a whole lot of people out there to meet, go and meet some. Talk to the weird kid; compliment the person that you would never think to talk to, they ALL have similar thoughts as you, but you won't know them until you talk to them and make nice, etc. Bookstores are a good place to start.

I hope this helps!

My transformation experience was gradual: from "Christianity isn't working for me; I'll find another system that works"--through of a couple of intermediate steps--ultimately arriving at "I don't need another 'system' like that; I can get my needs for those kinds of things (e.g. meaning, purpose, connectedness, etc.) met from other quarters of my life."

I have the advantage of having never been particularly hung up on conventions, so it's pretty easy for me to make sustitutions and translations across domains like this.

I am curious about this need (requirement) to fill a hole. When all four of my wisdom teeth were pulled (seemingly, against nature), nothing but gauze was given to me to fill those holes. Similarly, when we learn, perhaps for the first time, that Santa Claus was not a real person after all, and didn't ride in a flying sleigh, climb down chimneys, bring us presents, and didn't know what we were thinking, we may have been relieved, or, in some cases, left wanting. And yet, we know that there is no replacement for a wisdom tooth or Santa Claus. There is simply removal (elimination), and moving on.

It's perfectly alright to miss all that you found comforting in your life of faith. I too broke up with God, initially. After re-reading the Bible, I angrily demanded that Jehovah account for himself. No reply, of course. And then the Son didn't seem to answer me either, and so I began to wonder if I wasn't just praying to myself, much like talking to myself. It took years and the reading of many books (both critical and apologetic) for me to gradually emerge from the murkiness and gloom that was my brand of faith. And even then, there remained a tinge of nostalgia. In the words of Julian Barnes, "I don't believe in God, but I miss him."

But later, at some point, there was this "Aha moment." It's like, "Wait, you mean to tell me that ....?" To which I added, "Well, that makes no sense at all!" And from then on I felt 'cured' of this imposition on our minds that we call "Religion!" Logic and reason had won over credulity and tradition. Improved thinking acts as a vaccine against weaker thinking, and once you know a fact, or see a fraud, you can no longer 'un-learn' or 'un-see' what you have witnessed. I wish you the best, in deepest empathy, as you go about charting your own course. It was not easy for me, but in the end, rewarding. Do not give up on yourself. Peace.

Nope. I was glad to be rid of the church and to stop having to justify an obviously misogynistic, blood-thirsty Hebrew god who told us to love and obey him or burn forever. Even Jesus said that.

As for Christians, they are miserable, filled with fear of hell, only coming to church and going through the motions to keep up peer approval.

Yes I had that empty spot for years, maybe decades, but as another commenter mentioned, you really can fill it with accurate information. It just takes time, but it definitely gets better. Best wishes.

If you need to feel your membership in a church, temple, or mosque will somehow justify things, maybe you just like lies and fairytales to justify your existence. I can not see how being lied to about the false beliefs that come from the area of so many wars, could make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside then by all means go ahead and believe their falsehoods and live the lie of a believer.

You do need new friends and new pursuits. It will take time, after all you were a practicing Christian for all long time. Good luck, and now you have all of us.

Holds out both hands.. in one hand is a blue pill.. in the other hand is a red pill.

Some people's Canmore live with out religion, others cannot live with it, just try to not lose the friend s even if you don't want to mess with the church now

I've been atheist for so long that I can't begin to imagine what you feel like, but perhaps an analogy might help. Through my lifetime I been through varied mental health counseling; ADD, anxiety, who knows what else, and the resulting depression. One therapist described to me the difference between understanding something intellectually, and understanding something emotionally: it's not the same thing. I get intellectually what's going on with me, but I'm not getting it emotionally. It's the same thing with you. You understand intellectually the fallacy in the belief in God, but you are still struggling emotionally with it. But I can assure you that time will take of this as it had with me.

Well, that's the entire point of this site. To provide a community for atheists who've been alienated from their local community and who need the company of their fellow "heathens". And to provide support for those who are going through a crisis, like you are.

Now... I've pretty much always been an atheist. I was impervious to the pressure I faced in primary school, I'd stopped reciting the Lord's Prayer by 6. So perhaps I'm not the best person to talk about this. But I can say that there are a lot of people who've been through the exact same things you have, and they'll always be here to help.

But for my tuppence, don't go back to religion for the sake of comfort. You'll never be rid of doubt, and it'll keep gnawing away at you. Intellectual honesty is more important.

There is no shame in survival.

I knew I was an Atheist at the age of six but quickly discerned that was not an acceptable thing to voice.

I went on to win almost ALL the Bible Verse award BS.

Adaptive colorization is a thing.

The post below me... "There is no shame in survival" I feel is the best thing posted here. You are 18 and presumably living with your parents. Do what you need to do to survive! That doesn't help... I know. But the only thing that is going to help you here, I feel, is time. You need time to sort out your own feelings. Those feelings are ones that need to originate from within YOU. In my mind, having someone here tell you what to do is just as bad as having the church tell you what to do... You need to discover on your own what path is best for you! It's not easy and sometimes it is downright SCARY... But that is what we all face at some point.

Tell your friends and family that you need space to get through this and that if they push... They risk pushing you away and YOU don't want that... They shouldn't either.

Come back here and read and post. I never went through what you are going through... I had different life experiences. But others here have and I would think it would be a great support group for you to help figure things out!

You need support and some new friends but I never felt this way at all. Maybe that's because I am a loner.

The God myth can be difficult to get over.

Having to let go of the idea that A Big Eye InThe Sky is judging your every move (harshly!) is probably leaving you feeling lost, plus the loss of community. Try new things where you can meet new, non-judgemental people! There are communities all around...theater, dance, book clubs, volunteer opportunities, etc etc etc. Look at what You want for a change, then go for it!

If you get involved in some other effort that helps others, larger than yourself but non religious, that might help. Habitat for Humanity, adult literacy, mentoring at risk youngsters, canvassing for a good politician, volunteering at a soup kitchen, meals on wheels, your local pet shelter. And someone mentioned theater, I bet you can find a community theater group or even a high school that could use your help. You know god is a myth now, so we have to help each other ourselves. Good luck and let the guilt go!

Examine those feelings and identify the thoughts you are having that bring on the feelings. Analyze the thoughts and determine if they are true. Write it all out so that the truth will be keyed into all levels of your consciousness. In some cases the truth might be that the answer is not known, but that in any event there is nothing to fear. In truth, there is absolutely NOTHING to fear.

Read “The Church’s development of the Hell Myth” by Denker, just below your post. Consider reading “Help Yourself to Happiness” by Dr Maxie Maultsby Jr. Find other social outlets.

Good luck in your journey. Stick it out and you’ll be in for a joyous life of deep awareness, awe and appreciation. Remember, THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR!

Yes, I went through this process you are going through. Including the intrusive thoughts. That was a rough period but from my experience, it was worth it because of where I am now.

If you're an atheist that means you don't believe in a god or gods. You're not breaking up with a real person, you're breaking up with your indoctrination. It's healthy! Now go for a walk in the woods!

Rejecting god/s and theology doesn't have to include or exclude what others tell you. It is an individual decision made for your individual reasons and (let's hope) reasoning.

Because one rejects invisible friends doesn't mean automatically rejecting phenomena associated with them by their promoters. Many of the things ascribed to gods are already inborn; already instinctual. Not the least of these are morality; loyalty, ability to feel gratitude, generosity, unqualified affection and love, formation of communities/congregations with others with our naturally occurring bonds of respect and affection being the 'stuff' that holds us together. All of those and other evidences of inner, self-regulating morality are displayed in the animal world; the world we, as animals, share with them. When do we see our four and two legged cousins finding their morality in churches, synagogues or mosques?

We are animated by and constantly recreated by life energy and it's abundant love. There is no need to put a face on it; especially an old man's face. The Universe is in a constant state of creation and disintegration due to forces beyond our mechanistic comprehension at this time. What we can comprehend is what we do and that we do. We understand things much more easily on a functional basis; analyzing 'what happens' and with our built-in faculties that distinguish us as HUMAN animals, to perceive the intentionality behind observed phenomena. That is another kind of faith based on INDIVIDUAL reasoning and not allowing the self-righteous or self-aggrandizing (usually male) creators of orthodoxies pass judgment over our reasoning.

We don't possess our special gifts only to turn them over to others who really know no more than we; who have been issued no greater endowment by Nature than we. We arrive alone and leave the same way. Our choices of associations should be entirely ours after (ideally) a nurturing period of development in which our perceptual and reasoning faculties are strengthened instead of weakened and confused by a lot of nonsense about invisible entities that 'want us to behave in certain ways for rewards'.

The source of abundance and primary nurturing is feminine. That males have usurped in exclusive ways, leadership and domination of their respective societies and seek domination of others is pathological on the face of it. That is the source of our religious traditions and the sickness they spawn.

Instinctual rejection of them is a healthy impulse. Don't let it frighten you. It is your inner nature trying to help you navigate. We are all born godless until the lies arrive and soon we are 'taken-in' by them, to propagate them and do terrible things in support of the lies. This principle applies to anthrocentric ideologies that need no gods for their destructiveness such as manifest destiny political movements and ideologies claiming superior morality; also propagated by male leaderships.

Never hesitate questioning legitimacy of and reasoning behind male dominated 'authority'. It is always self-serving at the expense and sacrifices of subscribers. That is an atheist's FUNCTION in the broader scope because many 'gods' masquerade as visible entities with the same male creators.