I'm a good man...you're a good woman...what's the problem? Why are we all struggling so hard with relationships? Our expectations seem to be unrealistic in an increasingly disposable world. Our choices limited. We interact more as semi anonymous words on a screen than as living breathing feeling human beings. How many of you have broken up with someone with a text? How many have been the recipient of that text? Have we just decided that we no longer want the responsibility of emotion? Its hard to carry for all of us. Men and women alike. How I long for a real conversation with a real voice. To hear the inflection and subtleties of human speech. I hope to find someone here...or somewhere. Even though it sometimes seems futile...I still hope for the right one. The one just for me. I know all of you do as well. In case no one has said it to you lately...I love you. All of you. I wish you all the happiness you seek. We're all part of something greater, part of each other. May we all find that one person we're searching for.
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Fear?
What do you do when you feel "that" person may be approaching you to make fun of you?
This used to be my feeling when in my early 20s. )(no without reason). I never trusted the person was honestly attracted.
When I met the guy who became my husband...it took about six months before I accepted to go out with him for the firdt time..
DUCHESSA
Level 8
Jan 31, 2018
1
As a male, you're expected to make the first move.
In fact, bold confidence is what women usually look for in their admirers.
Women are typically the ones who look over their suitor choices and pick the best one for them, but men have to put themselves out there first.
Also, most women aren't driven by male-strength libidos, so often want friendship first, to make sure male admirers aren't just trying to get laid with whatever woman he can get.
She wants to feel special, chosen, etc.
birdingnut
Level 8
Jan 31, 2018
2
I always felt men having to ask was so unfair. I think this is changing with online dating - but I'd like to see it change everywhere.
@RavenCT It's the male instinct to be the predator and women the prey. Women with a high percentage of male traits who chase men only signal males that she will likely be more interested in her own career than in taking care of him, and producing/raising his progeny.
Sure, most men will gladly accept free sex, but are likely to leave later to pursue more interesting, mysterious, disinterested females, with stronger, more picky female instincts.
@birdingnut I know but I believe it's changing. More people are nearing the middle of the male/femaleness scale. So social mores will follow. Most men I know appreciate knowing a woman is interested.
@RavenCT Men are always flattered, but people are driven by instinct, not reason. I'm partial transmale, not even a real male, and demisexual, yet I am attracted to pretty women, although not with lust. But if one of them comes after me aggressively, I also suddenly lose interest and only have one thought..ESCAPE. It's a red flag to males, a way to prioritize their energies to pursue females more likely to want to reproduce them.
@birdingnut Nature versus reasoning skills - kind of makes sense. We are primates after all.
Who is struggling?
jlynn37
Level 8
Jan 31, 2018
1
You probably aren't man lol
You are right and at my age what would be the point.
I'm at a crossroads in life myself and spend more and more time in front of a computer screen and have most likely severed ties with about 90% of my old friends. I'm going to force myself to join more organizations: meetup.com, democratic clubs, bird walking, wordpress, anything. Sometimes I feel like I've forgotten how to even talk to people face to face. Thanks for your post.
UrsiMajor
Level 8
Jan 31, 2018
5
It's hard for some people. The world's not very trustworthy. I'm glad you liked it.
Get on the phone with someone. I did with several members here. Nothing like human conversation. I am currently visiting a member on the other side of the country.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
Jan 31, 2018
6
I hope it is going good for you and you are having the time of your life.
Thank you having a good time
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