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Better Relationship?

Do you think you'd have a better relationship with a person who has similar faith?

TMWB86 4 Oct 16
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31 comments

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8

IF I were to ever have another relationship (which I sincerely doubt I will),
the other person would have to be an atheist. Period.

5

I couldn't date someone who believes in any kind of superstition let alone a god.

4

I don't know that you can have an honest, sincere connection with someone else if you fundamentally disagree on something as basic as how the world operates.

If your partner thinks that their actions are orchestrated by a sky fairy, can you actually show them the respect that a partner deserves?

Respect! Yes! I have to hold my tongue in so many situations at work or with family - people invoking blessings from their "sky fairy" for a simple sneeze or any other mundane thing. I just couldn't come home to a partner and have to endure the same thing...my ability to show respect would be taxed for sure....let alone my ability to take such a person seriously...

4

Most people of faith are hypocrites. I'd rather have inner honestly.

4

I've been in several situations with women who as soon as I've stated I'm an atheist, wanted nothing to do with me. So, to answer the question, yes, simply because some won't accept the differences.

I agree. Men are the same. I think very few people change their minds about this subject once they've become adults. Besides I don't want to have a relationship with a person of faith.

@confidentrealm It's not a matter of changing one's mind, it's about acceptance.

@nvrnuff Yep. I want someone who is atheist like me. Nothing wrong with that.

@confidentrealm I never said there was.

4

Yes. I will only consider a potential partner with similar humanistic beliefs as me.

My last boyfriend was very into new age woo - psychic powers, reiki, crystals, a type of watsu session where you can "relive" your birth, and all kinds of stuff. He toned it down when he was around me, but after 8 years of being together, it was clear he was never going to let his alternate reality beliefs go.

We had other problems, but one of the last straws was when he confessed the reason he continues to look after an old girlfriend, doting on her daily (providing an extra apartment for her near her place of work, so she doesn't have to drive home, spending a couple nights a week with her - apparently platonically - and leaving her all his money when he dies) is that he promised the ghost of her dad in a dream that he would look after her. So, he is taking that promise to his grave, devoting his time and energy to a woman who drives him crazy with stupid stuff, all because he promised a ghost.

@Shelton But a cute and very charming quack, with lots of good qualities that balanced out the bad for a while, until the last few straws tipped the camel over.

@Shelton Sadly, yes. Hence my pledge to narrow any future romantic partners to secular minded guys, with a foundation in reality only.

best be done with him!

4

Different beliefs can be a problem if one or both partners want to make it one. A relationship based on common interests and mutual respect should not run afoul of different beliefs.

I hasten to add, though, that some theists over-identify with their religious beliefs and also may take bad advice from fellow theists, including bad relationship advice. I would rule out any sort of fundamentalist and would stick to very liberal or post-Christian or non-Abrahamic believers and even then, I'd prefer someone who doesn't give it credence at all, to someone who doesn't take it very seriously.

4

Absolutely. In my case, a similar lack of faith. I'm an atheist and I cannot imagine dating anyone who isn't.

3

While I understand that many people have a need for their belief in god, I hold no ill will toward them for that need. I would not want to be in a relationship with someone who was in a religion of any kind. I have a real issue with people who believe faith is more important than reason and science. My own family, (2 son's & their families) believe in god. We don't argue about it nor try to convince one another to change. I love and respect my son's and when I am invited to their homes for dinners, birthdays, holidays, they always have everyone hold hands to pray before a meal. I don't make a scene. I just hold their hands without praying and look at each of them as they have their heads down praying, and think how fortunate I am to have so much love in my family. I don't believe there is anything to be gained by ostracizing people for their beliefs. However, should someone try to get in my face about their religion and how I should have it in my life, then I can be pretty straight forward about my own beliefs. I respect others as long as they respect me.

when a doctors saves a persons life they thank god not the doctor who done the work or the science the doctor learned to use to save a life but something that is against science and called them evil in the beginning.

3

I view religious people as delusional and harmful to humanity . Through out life , one way or another their beliefs dictate important decisions that ultimately affect all of us . Either with their voice either with their silence , they sustain and promote and repeat crimes against humanity .

When a man who claims any type of religion / spirituality and other exotic ( to me ) fruits shows interest on me as a woman , I question my self .., what have I done to give him the impression that I am stupid ?

2

Well it would be at least one less thing to disagree about.

2

or lack there of. I think so, having been in relationships with . They say that they don't mind but are quick to use it for ammunition.

Trip Level 4 Oct 16, 2018
2

As long as they're non practicing, I don't see that as a problem.

Both my ex wife and I are Jewish. I am a militant atheist, she kind of believes - culturally Jewish, I think that's what they call it. She never really goes to the temple, doesn't belong to any congregation and absolutely accepts science (along with evolution, western medicine, etc).

Tl;dr: As long as your potential partner believes in the privacy of their own mind, I don't perceive that as an issue

2

My bf is Catholic, I'm atheist. It doesn't make any difference at all. We both know NOT to discuss it. Besides, he's a non practicing Catholic.

2

I couldn't have a relationship with someone who had faith. It's incompatible with intelligent conversation. I've tried it...even the allure of a nymphomaniac wore off...I mean tantric sex yeah...but crystal power? Really???

@Omen6Actual No, well, in my limited experience with nymphomania it was. Willing to prove that wrong ?

1

Well, faith for many people is a proxy for values and political beliefs, so yes probably. I'm sure there are exceptions, but the couple in question would have to be people that refrain from making it an issue.

Orbit Level 7 Dec 11, 2018
1

Absolutely. I just had a conversation with a man on Zoosk who went on about how God had saved his life when he was widowed. I nicely told him I couldn't have a relationship with a religious and he kept pushing. Finally I just blocked him. Religion permeates a person's entire life. Forget for a moment that it's belief in something nonexistent. Religious people go to church, they have religious ceremonies like weddings and funerals and baptisms, they pray, they often build their social life around the church. No way, nohow. Not me. Why do men think they can either browbeat or persuade you that a) religion doesn't matter to them, or b) that it wouldn't matter???

1

yep because you will not be shaking your head in disbelief from the stupid that comes out of the others mouth

1

When they have a religious belief that automatically makes me think, what else can they be delusional about. Speaking from personal experience, the last relationship I was in, near the end, she said that she had a problem with me being atheist. I have been an atheist for years, she knew and it was something I've always been open about. Suddenly it became a problem. Going forward, I will never date a religious woman again. It always seems to not be a problem in the beginning but it changes.

Trip Level 4 Oct 17, 2018
1

Absolutely. I have no understanding of people who can believe in such nonsense. I know myself too well and know I would not get along in the long term with someone capable of thinking that way.

1

Not really. It isn't important enough to me to fight over. Kids might create an impasse

1

Well, I don't give much importance if my other half is believes in God or not. When has to work out, it's not that important.

1

I avoid mainstream religion people, and if they try to push their beliefs on me, I act bored, mumble, "Um, hum..that's nice..," and leave the room.

It doesn't take long to train people to avoid the subject of religion with me.

1

On my experience, it is irrelevant, most of "religious" people almost never think about religion, and only do it if someone else remembers them.
Only for minor details that really don't matter there were some interference.
Or in case of one that turned into fundamentalist, there were big problems.

But for now I prefer people that are non religious or at least that spiritualist that in the reality just adapt its personal religion to what they want...

1

As long as they don't mind that we share differen't beliefs, and not try to push them from either of us, I'm ok with it.
To me it would only be an issue if kids were involved, How would we raise them etc.

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