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Dating past 40 question: your looks are gone, how do you find a mate in this Instagram/Snapchat/Tinder dating environment?

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13 comments

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My looks aren't gone, they've just changed. I stay away from those dating apps, they just seem to appeal to people who are very shallow.

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My looks aren't gone. They are just worse than before. LOL. In my experience, I find that so many men are very shallow when it comes to looks. One one hand, they can have a woman in their own age range with average or below average looks where the chemistry is awesome. The other hand, they can have someone that is younger, way above average in looks with a lot of drama and baggage. They always seem to pick the latter.

Can't say my experience on Match squares with that. It seems that very few of the younger women will date someone more that a few years older than them, according to their stated dating age ranges in their profiles, so there can't be that many men who are able to get the younger women from dating sites to date them. I'm also assuming these older men must be very good-looking to attract the minority of younger women who will date an older man from a dating site. Maybe you're only talking about the men who meet women offline in the real world? Or are you talking about your past dating experience of offline dating?

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I didn't worry about this until I hit 50 this year. Now I do feel it's getting harder.

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When I was young and had better looks, I wasn't confident about them. Now that I'm older and widowed, I have some confidence that I can look and be attractive, at least to some women and was to one in particular. But I still have no illusions that my looks are anything but average so my attitude about dating is to approach the average and above average-looking women who interest me for their looks, personality and shared interests while leaving the great lookers alone, as they will only reject me anyway and be a waste of time for me to approach.

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Pfffff. I never had them to begin with.

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Why are your looks gone? Your youthful looks may be gone, but a more mature and distinguished look can take their place. Unless of course, you are trying to attract the same age group that you did when you were younger! My two sons are round about 40..one 39 and the other 41 and they both look pretty handsome and in good shape. In any case, not everyone is so shallow as to judge by looks alone. Write a witty bio and when you do get a date...show interest in the other person and engage in intelligent conversation with a bit of humour thrown in. Be positive, a positive attitude is always going to be more attractive than negativity.

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Go out and do stuff. They are not going to come to your home looking for you. You might meet someone on line, but the chances are slim at best, especially given the distances we deal with on this site.

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Hold on! My looks are gone?? I’m 48, think I’m doing ok. There are many people our age dating online and offline. The biggest obstacles being trumpsters and theists.

I think you are safe.

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Your looks are gone ? At 40 !!?? Good grief - something's wrong there ...

And hopefully, at any age, there's more to someone than mere outside appearance !

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Ditch the apps and join the real world.

Get a hobby - the more unisex the better. Join a club. Meet real people who judge you on deeds, not looks and words on a page.

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I guess I am in real trouble at 64. I have never found it difficult at any age and have as much companionship now as ever. It is all in your mind.

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Well, I guess I'm just going to wilt like a wallflower. Nobody wants to look at this 47 year old mug. I will just post a picture of my pussy......cat.

I would love to see a picture of your pussy...................................................cat.

Nice pussy cat ...more cuddly than reptiles...

@bubaj50 Is cuddly a requirement for anything?

@graceylou no ....pussies can be squirmy and squishy; they don’t have to be cuddly

You will always look young!

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Wait wait waaaaaaait....stop the press dude. Didn't you just picture a doomsday scenario where all our digital identities will be used against us because gmail is reading all emails but instagram/snapchat is ok? ..... Confused ?????????

I thought he was married, why the inquiry?

@Green_eyes This is about a previous exchange today in a separate thread..... I was yanking his chain, just having fun, nothing bad at all

@IamNobody I was wondering why he’s inquiring about online dating given the fact that he’s married. A bit odd. Not your inquiry. I saw and commented on that other post.

@Green_eyes ok

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