If you don't communicate, you don't have a relationship. You only have a convenience.

It depends on how well you are at communicating your feelings. When I was younger I wasn't great at communication and was frequently unable to make any effective change in the relationship. As I matured I got better at communicating and problem solving should which has resulted in much better relationships.

I communicated and things got better for 6-9 months, then went right back to where they were. Fast forward a few years and we went to marriage counseling. Again, things got better, I allowed myself to love him again....but a few months later I was being ignored.

Tried one more time but decided he had to put in effort before I would open myself up to being hurt by him again. I know men can sometimes need explicit instructions so I told him I wanted for he and I to have an actual conversation for 10-15 minutes, 2-3 times a week AND for him to occasionally give me a hug, hold my hand, any type of physical touch (I didn't even bring up the complete and utter lack of sex). Needless to say, there were no conversations nor any touching. I wasn't worth 20-45 minutes of his week nor worth any physical affection. At that point I considered our marriage over and that he was my roommate.

Still took me a few years to finally divorce him. It was finalized last year (11-1-17) and I still struggle with knowing how little he would have had to do to stay married but I wasn't worth it. I didn't have big demands. Or at least I don't think those are big demands. But I wasn't worth it.

I got nowhere, so I left the relationship.

When one

• is in touch with feelings,
• values communication, and
• sets and enforces healthy boundaries...

and the other

• represses feelings,
• avoids communicating, and
• doesn't understand or respect boundaries...

frank, honest (attempts at) discussion on intimate emotional and relational themes can be relationship dynamite.

I've been through this too many times. I don't know where all the emotionally and relationally healthy people are, but I can't seem to find any.

The relationship ended and that was a huge improvement for all involved.