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Dating in todays society

Question to any and all men who follow me or read this.

When dating a lady, would you be still so interested if in the course of dating it was discovered that the woman in question was born male, that the beautiful lady you had wined and dined was transgender. How many of you would continue to court this beautiful young lady and how many of you would be disgusted and leave.
I'm serious about this guys it's a question that will undoubtedly have a lot of soul searching being done among a few of you.

I personally know my answer and I'll reveal it in due course. I'd firstly like to see who will stand up and tell the truth about there feelings on this subject oh and the question stands just the same if the girl was pre or post op trans.

  • 3 votes
  • 14 votes
  • 14 votes
darien75 7 Nov 28
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21 comments

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0

I should like to hope it would be more based on the person, not what is or has been between their legs. As society (USA, Canada, EU & UK) becomes more accepting, this may just become a social norm in the not too distant future.
I have seen in the UK over my lifetime, homosexuality go from criminal act, to legal for 21 year olds, then down to 18, then 16. Recently same sex marriage has been legalised. I say good, lets evolve.

@darien75 Thank you, I try. It's also part of my psychology course. Much reading about studies of studies and XX XY XXY chromanones. My daughter helped to get me past my unenlightened ways a few years ago, and now I follow her by doing the same course.

@darien75 Broadening my mind further thanks to the Scottish educational system! I like to have an evolving outlook, and who am I to tell consenting adults who they can or cannot love. When that 'Mills & Boon' lightening strikes, it strikes. Fair enough, there are societal duties and conventions we follow, but at some point, someone has to stick their head above the parapet and go over the top to victory.

@darien75 'All in all, we're just another brick in the wall'....

1

That’s tough to answer. I know philosophically I would ok with it. The idea is sharing your life with someone you care about and trust.

My key reservation though is in the field of raising children, i.e. whether to adopt, find a surrogate, etc.

But with that in mind though...once passed the discussions and logistics, if you really care about and love them, does it really matter?

@PalacinkyPDX Yes, on the first date I will usually open with a questionnaire regarding potential child names and genetic history. If they fail they’re instantly out. I’m a firm but fair realist 😉.

Pretty fucking pathetic that a woman's only worth to you is childbearing.

@jojobean You’re right. I’ll mend my ways after such a detailed argument. Jesus be with you.

2

Hypotheticals are always tricky. There's a lot of nuance and context surrounding any relationship, even simple friendships let alone romantic relationships. So I voted for the third option, because I just don't know. I would not rule it out or in a priori, and there is nothing in the set up situation that discusses any emotional attachment when the big reveal occurs, nor the circumstances surrounding the admission. Could go either way.

@darien75 It's a good question. It made me think a bit.

@darien75 Good for you, all the best to you both. 🤓

0

I'd love to say I'd be all open-minded and stuff, but I really don't know how is react to a cock in the bedroom. I've had zero homosexual experiences, and attraction's a very visceral thing, and I just don't know if I'd be 'actually, I can't do this' or 'c'mere, baby'. Post - op would be less confronting for me initially, but either way I'd be having to learn a whole new world of genitals.

@darien75 sorry, I didn't make myself clear. Obviously a trans woman and a gay guy are completely different things, and I didn't mean to imply otherwise. But when it came to the actual getting of it on, I've had no experience with a penis other than my own, so I don't know how I'd react.

@darien75 yeah, I watched a fascinating doco on a guy who'd transitioned from female to male. He said that the emotional changes he'd gone through due to hormone therapy were some of the most difficult bits of his journey, but he's so much happier where he was now compared to his life before.

0

I think it depends a lot on the person and how it comes up. If I wanted to have children that would be a legitimate issue however if not, I'd have to consider how this affects my view of that person. I can't say it's a deal breaker, but I also can't say I'm looking for a woman who's had a sex change.

In addition, I don't know how this would affect my attraction to the person until i was in that situation. I'd hope it wouldn't change but I can't say for sure.

@PalacinkyPDX I'm always honest.

I wouldn't really know, I haven't dated in 4 years since I was divorced and was with her for about 12 so I'm pretty sure my mindset when I was last dating is no longer relevant.

Considering your point however, when I do date again I probably won't be thinking about children on the first several dates however the OP didn't say it was necessarily in the first several dates, simply in the course of dating. To your point if I was with a non-trans woman who couldn't give birth and I wanted children that would similarly affect my outlook.

I'm not against adoption either so that may be able to work if she was interested, I hadn't considered that. I will also mention that it's theoretical as I don't necessarily have a current stance on children.

1

My daughter is in love and living with a transwoman. To be honest, I have never thought of her as anything else. I would hope I would be the same way if I found out the person I was dating was transgender.

@darien75 I have taught my children that it doesn't matter what gender or race the person is; as long as the person treats them right I'm okay with it.

2

I would be absolutely fascinated if the guy I was was dating turned out to be a former woman with add-on parts. I can just imagine the conversations we would have.

@darien75 I am from Europe, don't have the American hang-ups. By the way, I dated several queer guys and was happy to do so. This was before the AIDS epidemic.

0

I'm 68 years old and have been married for 22+ years to the same woman. For me, at this stage in my life, I'd say that situation would be just too strange to cope with. We've several "alternate lifestyle" couples in our neighborhood & the constant drama they have in their lives would completely exhaust me.

4

Since I identify as pansexual, a person's sex, gender, and assortment of body parts do not matter to me one bit. I would hope the person would be comfortable enough to tell me upfront but if I were told later on or found out some other way I probably wouldn't be too bothered by it.

@darien75 To me it's just simpler to not put limits on myself. I enjoy the freedom to feel attracted to anyone I feel attracted to without reservation or guilt. That said, I'm probably one of the least social person on the planet. LOL.

2

I am a female and I will get into this conversation too. Sorry guys but if I was a male and was in this situation, surely one would go on with the dating.

I'm female too, and if I started dating someone (of either gender) and found out they were trans it would not change anything about how I feel.

1

Iv had sex with a few transgender women who have had everything done. Dont be surprised if you have bruise's on your dick the next day. Their pussy is pretty damn tight

1

I am an 35+ transwoman and have not had a partner since beginning my transition. However, I had always been open to every type of person based on my own opinions.

@darien75 Well, if I didn't have it... I know a large group of my friends that would beat it open.

0

Can’t put an answer on the poll. I’d be upset that they didn’t say something before said date.

0

I mean im kinda into vaginas so if my lady had a dick id be kinda confused and excuse myself XD.

I'm into women. It's nice that many of them have a vagina. But friendship is more important than fucking to me.

2

At this point in life I can honestly say that I would continue to date her. If someone has a beautiful heart and mind then they are already amazing in my eyes. I've put a lot of thought into this and I could not see myself turning away a chance at true love. The world is a cruel place,but I don't have to be. 🙂

I love your last sentence! "The world is a cruel place,but I don't have to be." What I lovely way to think about how to live in the world.

1

I guess it would depend on when I was told. Honesty is at the top of my list of important character traits for a potential partner. Being transgender is major information that should be communicated early in a relationship. I would think that if I were told up front, and I really liked the gentleman, it would not be an issue.

1

If I have made it to the point where I'm on a date and things have been going well and I have started to develop a connection with this individual then yes I would continue.

0

I really need to be in the situation to figure it out, I'm more into having kids naturally instead of adopting to be honest but it doesn't mean that that wouldn't be an option. First I have to get over my own biases of the situation if I really did like the person a lot.

0

.at different age-
different criteria is used by humans.

0

I've never been in that situation, though I don't think I would leave based on the transgender nature, but more on the fact that it was withheld Information, if i left at all... I guess it gives me something to ponder.

1

I have dated a trans lady. It didn't last long, and never got to the physical stage. I enjoyed the experience. She was a fun person to hang out with. I would do it again. I like women. I get as much out of a positive interaction as I do getting physical. Some of my best friends are women who are in relationships with others. I'm not trying trying to intervene. I just like to interact without sexual tension.

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