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This is how a church should be. Your thoughts?

As an atheist, I have not been in a church for decades. But this week a friend invited me to the Cascade Unitarian Church.

It was wonderful! I knew nearly everyone and felt loved and welcomed.

The minister's message was about improving the Golden Rule. Treat people as they want to be treated, not how you want to be treated. Over 22 religions have some form of the Golden Rule.

This message resonated with me. I felt centered and grounded. No mention of Jesus.

Members were invited to light a candle and share joys or sorrows. One man talked eloquently about how he refused to accept help and it resulted in loneliness. He spoke of his "trembling and vulnerable heart" and the weight of "carrying the flaming saber of justice."

"Your words hit me in the center of my chest," I told him afterward. I got lots of hugs and enjoyed connecting with old friends. Found two new female hiking partners!

Next week they will celebrate Paganism. I plan to go. This is what church should be: acceptance and connections between people.

LiterateHiker 9 Dec 9
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31 comments (26 - 31)

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1

Looking at earlier posts, I agree with both sides. I was invited to a Unitarian X-mas party and to a 'service' a few years ago. I came away with very mixed feelings. Good people, but not my kind of people.

1

Sounds interesting. Glad you enjoyed.

1

Four of the US presidents were Unitarians, including John Adams and his son, John Quincy Adams.

0

I made several really great friends at my local Unitarian church in the early 90s and they are still with me today. I also met my late wife because of these connections while she was attending a UU church about 30 miles away. The UU churches are full of great ideals and people who are Agnostic, Atheist, and/or Humanist as well as almost all very politically liberal to socialist. But the longer I was there, at least at my local one, the more turned off I was by how classist and cliqueish most of the members were. It started to seem more like a country club for intellectuals than a community that actually valued and embraced all members equally, whether they drove a bus or were a doctor, which was exactly the opposite of how I remember the Catholic church where I grew up. Because there, everybody felt welcome and valued, no matter their social or economic standing. Yes, there was probably cliqueishness there too, but it was so blatant at the UU church in spite of all the rhetoric and lip service about it being a caring community and respecting the dignity and worth of every human being etc.

I got really disgusted with it and then withdrew even more after my late wife's dementia became late stage. I didn't need to be around negative stuff. Nowadays, I could probably meet someone to date as a widower there that would be compatible, but I just don't feel eager to go spend time there (even when I still know some people there) when I already feel treated as indesireable by Match.com and most of the people at the church that you meet will be quick to ask you what you do for a job so they can size you up on whether you fit in with them and are on their class level. Lots of middle management and corporate types. If you don't fit, they will be very quick to walk away and ignore you. That's the kind of classist bullshit I'm talking about, along with the fact that very few of them care about economic justice or inequality, no matter how much the ministers keep talking about social justice, which usually amounts to identity stuff like gay rights, feminism, race, immigrants, etc.. All stuff that's not offensive to upper middle class types.

My late wife's old UU church is not so classist or cliqueish because it is much smaller, but because it's in a smaller college town, it has very few people my age. Part of the problem with my local one is its size, about 500 members. It's grown too large and impersonal compared to the early 90s and nowadays, for example, when they get to the part of the service for sharing milestones, joys and concerns, etc. in the lives of the members and their families, you have to submit those in advance by e-mail or in writing and they are read out loud by the minister. Very bureaucratic and impersonal.

0

My UU fellowship is lay led, we have programs of interest to the community. Never a mention of any personage you must believe in or dogma to believe. Good people with lots of different viewpoints but nobody pushing anything on anybody. I was recently elected the president of the board of directors and am en living the place up a bit. We are called a liberal religion but there is no religion present in my fellowship.

0

i have never been christian; i don't go to churches (i mean, to visit, like for the architecture of the history, or a concert, yeah, but "go to church" isn't something i have a history of doing. so why would i want to choose a church and see how a church should be? it all sounds very pleasant if you need a church, and i am not being sarcastic. i don't happen to need one.

g

@genessa

I went for the community.

@LiterateHiker there is nothing wrong with that, if that is what you want. i don't want the community of people in a church. there are other communities.

g

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