Agnostic.com

39 2

How do you handle talking to a parent when they are politically opposite of you?

I keep finding my conversations with my father are far more strained these days because of Trump. I love my father, but I think his age is affecting his mind. He's 85.

Should I just ignore it? Admittedly, I'm the one that goes off like a bottle rocket when Trump's name comes up, but I can't help myself. My dad starts rationalizing and I can tell right away he's regurgitating the canned talking points from Fox News or some other right wing pundits.

Suggestions? Advice?

LucifersPen 7 Feb 18
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

39 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

Of course ignore it. He's entitled to his opinion just as you are. I don't even engage in that conversation anymore. Treasure the moments you have left with him. Talk about something you both love.

0

It's so sad that one man (Don-Jon Boy) has divided this nation, along family lines, so badly! Friends, relatives, and strangers alike, are now unable to communicate because of the ideology of ONE man. Hopefully, in the near future, we will be able to be led back into some measure of reasonableness under better national leadership. 🙂 Larry in western Kentucky

0

Change the subject, repeatedly if necessary. Have a few topics prepared... like, the time Aunt Edna...?
Do you think you will change his mind? Or will you deeply regret arguing fruitlessly when he is (soon) gone?!

0

I try to avoid conversations with the hopelessly stupid.

2

I have to completely avoid politics around my parents. They are completely brainwashed by religion, Fox News and the rest of the Right Wing Lie and Hate Machine.

1

We have two ears and one mouth. Use in proportion, and with kindness. He is your father. Make allowances.

0

Yeah, I'd say just let him know that you do not wish to discuss the topic of politics.

1

I try to avoid the topic. Some arguments are just not worth having. My mom is all Trump and Jesus. No need to try and change broken ideas like that

1

My uncle is the same way. Have you ever watched "The Brainwashing of My Dad" ? great documentary. When you have a guy who lived through WW2 and what the Russians are all about now and he defends it we've lost them to Fox News. When my uncle tried to defend white supremacists I decided just not to have those conversations with him.

2

Honestly, I just avoid politics and let their religious talk go in one ear and out the other. They say things like "praise god" "keep xyz in your prayers"... Yep, sure, I will. Ok... yeah. I just respect their faith etc. because I care about not fighting with them. Over the past few months, their talk about Trump has diminished, so I think they are starting to see the light and possibly feel the embarrassment. I learned a long time ago that those closest to us are the least likely to change their opinions because of what we say. So shake your head, settle your nausia, and try to enjoy life. Afterall... its not that serious. No one makes it out alive. We are dust.

1

My son-in-law is in the same boat with his father, a retired surgeon, who is actually a couple years younger than me. You can imagine how frustrating a retired doctor could be to try to talk sense to about this stuff. I think John just avoids the topic with his dad now. He likes to discuss thst stuff with me as we are on the same page. If your father is 85, the likelihood of your changing his mind is virtually nil. I would advise you to just let it go and don't put the relationship at risk.

2

Tha hardest thing I found in my life is convincing the one who metters to me about thing that metter to me! I found that somebody else's child will listen to me but not my own! It is a wird chemistry with family members and you just can't win!So if they ask me about it I will comment.... if not....the only way is
Let them find out the truth on their own!

0

Just keep your cool...listen to him but ask him to hear you....

0

My mother is just one of those that says mmm hmm to whatever anyone is saying. Wish I was more like that LOL

My step father on the other hand will yell and tell you that you are dumb or not listening etc

so I avoid discussing i or at least I will not begin a discussion

0

I used to argue a lot with my brother (he's slightly to the Right of Attila the Hun) and I'm a leftist. He considers me the 'eccentric' one.

2

Let him think what he wants.

0

Stick to your guns, I think we have an obligation to educate.

2

I found that it's pointless to broach the topic, they are so set in there ways.

1

I don't talk about because if I do well never speak again. He knows I think Trump is a vile disgusting human being. He thinks everything is getting better and the poor Trump family is being hounded by the media and democrats. He gets all of his information from Fox News and OANN. I can debate with stupidity and willful ignorance.

I no longer respect or admire my father and honestly love him less because he really isn't worthy of my love.

3

I just avoid the subject. I don’t want to strain my relationship with my oldest son who I believe voted for Drump. I just let go because there are more important things in life than pissing each off over politics.

2

OMG! I do feel your pain! Except for the fact that it is usually my 82 year old father who loses it. I called him on his birthday, chatting nicely, I mention that we bought two kayaks. He says "you can thank Trump for that." the chat turned rapidly after that, I warned him " if you keep this up, I'm going to hang up on you." He replied " I've got two more things to say..." Click! He came to visit last week and never said a word about Trump!

3

Well it can easily be a child! I have similar reaction as your self, at the very mention of trump's name! But my 55 year old daughter just may have gone off the deep end. It has gotten worse and worse. She has a very responsible position as office manager for a manufacturing company. She has always leaned toward the evangelicals, but she is getting way out there now! I have spent many an hour in the past, trying to reason with her and I doubt that I have made a dent. My son just reported that she is putting bazar things on Facebook (I don't do Facebook) and recently while assisting their Dad (we are divorced), during an operation, she just went off!! It is a helpless feeling seeing any family member steeped in...what I consider unreality! My daughter seems to have doubled down in defense of trump! It is a helpless feeling, seeing my daughter like this. I really don't have an answer and I surely love my daughter! I am even beginning to wonder if it is best that I stay away from her? If I can't be of help, then I surely don't wish to create more harm!

Sorry about that, it must be difficult.

2

When my mother brings up politics i try to listen to her without responding much. She doesn't really follow politics, but she's one of those many people that supports Trump because she thought he was that populist in shining white armor come to save the people. She only watches local news and doesn't have much to form an opinion on. She's lucky she even knows how to turn a computer on. I try to take an understanding mediator like role with her when she starts talking politics.

2

Oh man I really get this. I am very liberal and my father has gotten increasingly conservative as the years have gone by. He was also a lawyer so he can talk/bully any position. I have reached a point of managing both the amount of time and situations I spend with him. I usually try to avoid political topics with him. He is not religious nor particularly a supporter of Trump, and some issues he’s relatively liberal(gay rights), but he uses the word “liberal” like a dirty word and often misconstrues liberal positions. When things do come up, I will often try to gently suggest a different perspective than the one he gets from Fox News. But I’m not willing to get into major conflict with him about things on which he will definitely not change his opinions.

2

It's your father and he's 85. Change the topic. If his age is affecting his mind, it is much easier to change the topic because he will quickly forget what the two of you were talking about a minute ago.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:26112
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.