Agnostic.com

46 8

What Keeps You Where You Are?

Wherever your current home is, why do you stay there?

I stay in Louisiana due to fear of the unknown. I have what I consider a really good job. I have a decent income and the whole typical benefits package.

But, what I have that is unusual in my profession is that I support four really awesome attorneys who are essentially my direct "bosses." None of them is a micro-manager; all of them are smart and easy to deal with; all of them put up with my quirks - including often wanting to leave early on Fridays. 🙂 I have freedom of movement within reason. I put my time in and do my work and I get along with each of them very well.

I could go anywhere in the country and get a job. My fear is the unknown. Working for a jerk. Somebody who tells me you HAVE to take lunch at noon and take scheduled breaks. Somebody who requires x days notice of my desire for time off. Somebody who doesn't talk to me like an equal human being. Somebody who micro-manages - "How's your workload? What's on your plate? Did you finish that expense report I gave you an hour ago?" Et cetera.

That's why I stay in Louisiana. The two best side benefits are the nice weather most of the time and a relatively low cost of living.

When I retire or win the lottery, I will be happy to relocate.

What keeps you where you are? Under what circumstances would you relocate, if ever?

BlueWave 8 Feb 20
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

46 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

0

Inertia. Because I follow the path I have always followed and resistance is futile. I change, but only when I think it is time. I follow no dictates of others.

xyz123 Level 7 June 27, 2018
1

We moved here for a chance to give our kids a chance to be bi lingual and experience a country other than our own. What keeps us here is a balance between loving the area and paying a mortgage, but the costs are not horrendous so you can make a decent living here on very little.
And the landscape, fetes, neighbours.....we have already picked out our retirement home when we sell the family house.

Tilia Level 7 June 27, 2018
2

I have a special needs child who will need help from family after I'm gone. I stay here so that she will have that security and a connection to her family.

2

Interesting read, @BlueWave. Ty. This site has so many interesting people and topics!

Finances are always an issue re locating, naturally, as is the family and friends issue. Yet, I would travel ANYWHERE, that was reasonably safe. I adore meeting new people, seeing new places, learning learning learning, expanding my horizons.

Actually, I crave all that! 😀 !!!

3

Only my children or I'd be gone like the wind

2

My kids, the food, the people, good fishing, great crawfish, got a decent job where I bounce from company to company where the moneys at. Oh and I do like the environment in Louisiana. People are a ok for the most here.

3

First of all read the blog AskAManager.org. Fascinating workplace discussions.

What keeps me in Omaha. 3 adult kids, one grandchild, one on the way. I've already moved 23 times, I really don't want to move again. Courtesy of the military I've lived in Europe and Japan, and all over the US. I could move again, but I'm pretty vested in being near the grandbabies as my kids rarely lived near grandparents. I could get a job almost anywhere but really I'm 60, I don't wanna change if I don't have to.

3

I live in Northern Ireland, now I am retired I don't think I'll be moving again. I moved with my children so many times in their lives my daughter gave me an ultimatum that she would never again move with me.

2

I am taking care of my elderly Mother in her home so we can avoid the nursing home. After she passes I'm really wanting to go to N.M.
I don't really like it here, this where I grew up and I don't care for the environment (8000 people, 20 churches) everyone is nice but being socially ostracised for being an atheist is for the birds.

N.M.? Oh New Mexico?

3

I'm too broke to move anywhere, and I'm in a mortgage for at least another year. Beyond that though, my mom lives in the same town I do, and she's getting up there in age. She's done so much for me that it would feel wrong to move out unless I had a damn good reason. Once my finances are in the black again, the possibility will pop up, but I've got a long way to go.

2

I am always drawn back here to Massachusetts ( when I’m in the U.S.) for several reasons...No#1- for me, people of ‘like’ mind. Socialist Democrat, Liberal, open minded for the most part, educated, science is considered important, appreciation for history & the arts, no one cares what or if you have a religious affiliation. No#2- educated people. Whether formally educated or you self educate, all is encouraged and accepted...and information is easily available. No#3- Diversity of culture. Well traveled people. This is a big one. We have people here from every point on the planet. Love it. No#4- access to a very good mass transit system...the T (our underground system), commuter rail, buses, ferries...you name it, you can get “from here to there”. Having spent long stretches of my life in the U.K. and Europe, as well as several places lived in the US...and have visited every state, except Alaska ( and that’s on my ‘to-do’ list), Massachusetts offers the best mass transit systems in the country. No#5- We have history. And plenty of it. Native American, colonial, African American, Revolutionary War, Whaling Era history. And being a student of history, well this suits me down to the ground. No#6- Science & technology as well as a very healthy appreciation for the Arts. And yes, we have lovely museums.And then there is No#7- miles and miles of gorgeous coastline. Islands and beaches that are breath taking. Beautiful mountains in the western part of the state, lakes and trails and farm land. For the outdoorsy people, you can enjoy nature in every season. So for all these reasons, it keeps me where I am for now. But...now, is not always.

Okay, you've talked me into Massachusetts! Giving notice today and packing up!! 🙂

Thank you for your thoughtful response, JJ! And, welcome to the group!

1

My job keeps me a specific place on MS Coast. I’m crazy specialized so there are only a handful of places where I could do what I do.

Also, my kids grew up here and I would not wish to be too far from them.

I admit, like the poster here, I’m also anxious of the unknown.

I'm thinking of the drawing/artistic opportunities you must come across.

Herons have been living and breeding in this area for a while now, due to the warming summers. And after discovering the pleasures of kayaking, I'd found a nesting tree. That may provide subject material for my future efforts.

Yea to the beauty of the natural world, wherever we are!

1

My job keeps me a specific place on MS Coast. I’m crazy specialized so there are only a handful of places where I could do what I do.

Also, my kids grew up here and I would not wish to be too far from them.

I admit, like the poster here, I’m also anxious of the unknown.

2

I was like that too, so I decided to take a chance with a woman I had so much in common with,we were close in age and values so I took a chance and moved to Montana, but I was realistic about it all,it didn't work out but I don't regret taking a chance in finding that one special woman for me, I'd do it again because life is short.

2

I LOVE my home town of Ann Arbor, Michigan. It is a great college town with an extremely well-educated (and liberal) population. There are tons of things to do - restaurants, museums, book stores etc. all of the benefits of a big city without the city! I grew up here. My parents are here, my son is here (for now). The university means lots of job opportunities.
I would not leave here just to live somewhere else - there would have to be a good compelling reason, like an educational/career or relationship reason.

0

No where be%er to be at this timr

1

I relocated to oregon from Texas because I did not like Texas weather and the politics were worse. Oregon , as far as scenery goes, cannot be topped in my opinion. I am retired so brholden to no boss and I am not married so that is also true in that regard.

I love southeast Oregon! All of the state really, but southeast, sooo pretty! I might land in Oregon one day. I dunno though. My daughter loves cities and I know my heart will always pull me to be near her if and when she settles somewhere.

2

Hi @Bluewave On first reading your post made me sad, so I read it a couple of times. I would say it is not the fear of the unknown that keeps your there, I would say you like your job, climate etc.
The reason I was sad it it reminded me of my youngest brother at first. He lives in the suburb adjoin the one we grew up in, his wife grew up 2 suburbs away. Their kids are almost finished university and are self funded anyway, my brother and his wife are reasonably well paid, but old enough to retire in 2 months and they certainly have enough wealth in retirement funds to see them through. Yet they plan to stay living where they are, and work another 12-15 years. They visit me often and say how much they wish they could live here, they could afford my house probably 10 times over.
They could move in an instant, but they fear change. What if there is an economic down turn and they don't have their income and so on. I have nothing in the bank, not enough in my retirement fund to repair my car should it breakdown, I work 2 days a week on very low pay, far less than welfare in this country, I get no perks such as health, superannuation any anything. I tossed in all he has, to live as i do on a day to day basis. I will be dead one day and i am glad I am not missing out on this enjoyment. If you won the lottery, where would you move to and why? Then, what is really stopping you from doing it now? I think from what you have said that you like your life which is great.
I am where I am now because I don't fear change, and that has cost me a lot financially and often.
I think you like your job, bosses and conditions and don't want to lose them, in which case, I think you are doing well and most likely reasonably happy?

I stay where I am and how I am because this is about the closest I have been to being happy.

What a nice and thoughtful response Rugglesby....Thank you. 🙂

Yes, I consider myself happy, and I am me wherever I go.

I wish fear of change itself would have stopped me from moving here nine years ago! I'd have a whole lot more money in the bank and I'd still be near a few family members and friends. In adulthood, I have lived in Los Angeles, Seattle, and now New Orleans. It was precisely a lack of fear that got me here. I got a wild hair, sold nearly everything, shipped the rest, and here I am.

Yes, I really like my job. And the climate in New Orleans is a bonus. Beyond that, it would truthfully be a challenge to come up with too many more things I honestly like about the south.

For me, I long to be back with mountains, blue lakes, clear rivers, very tall trees, hills, mountains, and more like-minded people. Not even necessarily atheists, though that would be a bonus, but just a higher percentage of liberals.

Having grown up dirt poor, seeing my my mom lose a house to foreclosure, and seeing too many people struggling to make ends meet in their later years -- I simply don't want that. I want to travel and go to restaurants and not worry about whether I can afford any little experience or thing that gives me comfort, joy, or happiness. A lot of people love thrift store shopping. Me....eh....it outgrew its charm when I was a kid. 🙂 Some people love living simply in the truest sense, living off the land, and in all ways possible to live simply. Of course, there is nothing wrong with that, it just doesn't fit me.

I do sometimes think about taking the risk to get back where I feel more comfortable -- I've actually been fortunate in both of my last two law firms supporting attorneys who were wonderful people. So, of course it exists beyond my experience here. But, would I be lucky enough to find it? Any attorney can be delightful during an interview. And then some turn into a secretary's worst nightmare.

I'm no longer willing to give into wild hairs. I want to be smart about my financial decisions. I've sold and given away nearly all of my possessions several times. When I bought this house a few months ago and completely furnished it, that locked me into two personal commitments. 1. Keeping the house long enough to recoup some investment (at least five years); and 2. NEVER having to buy all these furnishings again (except, say when an appliance dies). I know how expensive it is to move furniture and stuff across the country. Also, like I said, the cost of living is a factor I take into consideration. The house I just bought would have cost about three times as much within 40 miles of Seattle.

I spent my first 43 years as a carefree risk-taker; starting over was never a big deal to me. I find that now that I'm getting older, I'm more pragmatic, thoughtful, and cautious about protecting my financial stability and freedom of choice and movement.

Until I retire or win the lottery, I'll have to rely on vacations to get bits and pieces of places I'd like to one day live.

@BlueWave vacations are good, they are how I find places I want to live

1

I’m in Tucson for University of Arizona’s Geosciences program. Next year it’s either Penn State or University of Washington for Astrobiology. I’m used to moving around every <2 years. It’s almost like I can’t stay put.

Marz Level 7 Feb 20, 2018
2

My family, I want to be near my nieces and nephews while they're growing up. Also, health issues and financial constraints right now.

1

I stay put because my current financial situation doesn't allow me to move freely. Also, my sisters and niece still live here and I'd hate to miss out on seeing my niece as often as I do. I worry about jobs, too. Finding bearable work with decent wages is tough, and my current job would be hard to compete with. But, more than anything else I've mentioned, I HATE moving. Nothing makes you realize how much crap you have like packing to move!

3

When I was younger I would move with a sense of adventure. Now I agree with the fear of the unknown. Plus I built my own house here from the ground up.I have to pay off the land but after that I will have no bills unless I buy a new vehicle. I am not sure I could recoup the cost if I moved and I sure couldnt redo what I have done here at this late date

and now I have paid it all off

2

I stay where I am because of my children 🙂

2

I've been here my whole life or all I remember as I moved here when I was 3. it's partly the security of better the devil you know but also I like it and it is a huge part of who I am. I just feel like I fit in here.

you have a sense of place, and that is very important for your sense of self and who you are, you are fortunate you didn't have to go looking.

I really am lucky

2

I'm getting out of here as soon as possible.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:26695
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.