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What do you do when missionaries or Jehovah's Witnesses come to your door?

I ran into missionaries that were Mormon outside in the front of my old group home. They asked me if I had time to talk? I said, "I'm not interested." They talked more. I found it hard to escape the conversation. I finally was able to, by saying I had diarrhea. Lol. The weird look they had on their faces as I ran into my old group home with my hands covering my butt. What do you do when they come to your door?

Sarahroo29 8 Feb 26
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28 comments

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6

Great thinking on your feet! I introduce whatever critter comes to the door with me as "my familiar." Missionaries and other thumpers tend to lose interest quickly after that.

Lol.

5

If they're male, I say "I'd love to talk" and lick my lips. Scares the crap out of them.

Jnei Level 8 Feb 26, 2018

Haha.

3

Open the door without a stitch of clothing and exclaim loudly "you're just in time, we were needing two more!"

Lol.

3

Reading all the comments below , my 'God' it must be a difficult job door knocking as a JW or Moron. You people are not nice 😛

Lol.

I am very friendly by not answering the door. 🙂

3

They don't lol. I've made sure they think I'm a fucking nutter while doing things I like anyway. try painting a pentangle on your door and they're gone.

Oh wow.

that stuff is amazing, I love it.

thank you so much

3

I say I'm not interested, I'm an Athiest, I don't need to be converted into religion.

Yes. I love to make them uncomfortable.

3

Mormons do not stay to talk to me at all once I start talking to them. The first thing that comes out of my mouth is why should I listen to you, or join a religion that considers me inferior because I am black.

I'm sure they have an answer for that...no matter how ludicrous!

I bet.

3

I answer the door naked.

If they corner me somewhere, "Fuck off" usually works.

Wow. Lol.

2

Have some fun with them and ask them some really hard questions and also tell them that God works in mysterious ways is not answer. Lol

Haha.

2

Why don't you invite them in and convert them?

Nah.

2

Easy. I treat them the same way as anyone else especially in my neighborhood. If I don't expect company, I don't answer the door.

Good.

2
  1. Open the door.

  2. Discover what they want.

  3. Close the door.

That it. It works every time.

That is so beautiful in it's simplicity.

Nice.

2

Listen to me very carefully. I believe in ethics, science, reason and logic. I do not believe in magic or superstition or witchcraft. I consider all branches of Christianity, and particularly LDS to be a destructive force for humanity. It is a fraud. Do not ever come here and evangelize to me or my family. You are not welcome and I find it very offensive. I will not say it again.

Well that's 'socking it to em ' Link. I like

Nicely put.

@Sarahroo29 Lets get it printed on a business card!

2

Politely debate with them

You're got gonna win.

Do they back down?

@Sarahroo29 eventually when they realise that there is no saving me ????

@MuhammadSaleh98 Lol.

2

I just say I'm a happy Episcopalian, thanks, and God bless. Shut door. In the past I used to sometimes invite the Mormons in because some of them were interesting.

Hmmm...

@Sarahroo29 I'm a fan of speaking to people on their own terms, and that particularly applies to religious people. If saying "I'll pray for you" or "Good to seeing you do the Lord's work" makes them happy and brings the interaction to a happy and quick close, great! It's not like God is going to punish me. 🙂

@Druvius Okay.

2

I'm polite, but if they break social nicities like trying to use my politeness as a way to trap you in a conversation or some other such tactic, I return fire.
Most of the time, it's unnecessary.

JeffB Level 6 Feb 26, 2018

Yes.

1

I make really inappropriate comments along the lines I assume they are from the escort service.
They don't come back, - ever.

Lol.

1

That was great. I wish I had thought of it, I would have come across much less harsh, than I have in the past. You make me smile.

1

If you answer the door naked (I'm a naturist) they don't stay to talk.

If they catch me while clothed I simply tell them "I have no interest at all in organized religion of any kind".

They have never persisted, but if Mormon missionaries ever did, I'd ask them why the churhc says Joseph Smith moved so often because he was being religiously persecuted when in fact every tiem he moved he was fleeing arrest? Or I might ask why the church claimed that when they did polygamy that the first wives approved, but Joseph Smith's first wife was completely surprised when other "wives" came forward after his death, as was evidenced in her letters and writings. Ort I coudl ask why to Book of Mormon makes reference to Naive Americans havign swords, when in fct Native Americans had no metal weapons of any kind until Europeans arrived.

I was raised Mormon, so I have a whole slew of things they (the Mormon church) lied about and got wrong to talk to them about if hey insist on talking to me.

Oh, okay.

1

Its not happened yet, but when it does, I shall invite them, kindly explain to them how my thinking process works (void of bias and prejudice, and forming opinions based on evidence which stands up to scrutiny), and point out that by applying this thinking process it is not possible to turn to religion, and then see what arguments they present against it.

" I shall invite them" -- in ? No , no , don't do that. You'll never get the upper hand as they've been specially train in persuasion. Unless you're very good at debating it's best not to let them get a foot in the door.

@Skyfacer nothing I love more than a debate, and yes I forgot to type the word in. I would genuinely do this by the way. I would not let them leave until I convinced them to become athiests (although I would settle for agnostic)

I don't think I'd be brave enough to let them in.

@Skyfacer Me neither.

1

I live in the only house in an industrial park. Never get them as a result.

Good.

1

I invited them to sit down and I would listen to them and discuss if they meditated. They did it and as we talked over several sessions I continuously poked holes in the story. I added things like that doesn't make sense, that sounds like alien technology, yeah pagans hold a similar beliefs and that's pagan symbolism. I got rid of them by telling them I'm bi and they were adorable/we should go out sometime.

You put the 'hard word' on them ! You naughty boy you.😛

Lol.

@Skyfacer I was willing to take them to heaven before they condemned themselves to hell.

1

If I have the time, I will usually talk to them at length (I like to hear the views of believers as to why they believe)...They are usually uncomfortable talking about their own personal reasons for believing. I politely refuse their tracts, and say that I've found no reason to be a believer. They usually only spend about five minutes of listening to my list of unanswerable questions (Questions always have an answer, and if God was even possibly an answer, they would be sure to have told me) before they realize they are wasting their time on me, and move on...

Ask them about the underpants thing 🙂

Lol.

0

I've been known to invite them in, sit them down then start educating them. they don't stay long. But more often it is just a quick run down ofd reality before shutting the door. They don't come very often now, only when they get a new bunch in. Same for morons and jehovahs

0

I live in a house with 6 flats. Unfortunately mine is number 1, so anyone calling rings my bell 1st. From delivery guys to cops, muggins has to answer the door. When JW`s call I just say no thank you and then they ask if anyone else in the building would be interested? I say " I doubt it but ring their bell and ask them but leave mine alone please ".

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