At least I'm not in Alabama.

"I demand a second opinion"

or

Like Spike, "See. I told you I was ill"

Cremation for me..on the Urn I'd like "Good to the last Fart" engraved.

I have lost interest in an 'epitaph,' on a tombstone. I just want the people who knew me in this life...to be able to say that, 'she made the world a better place, because she was in it!'

I have nothIng. I owe much
the rest I leave to the poor

My favorite: I told you I was sick.

I like a comedian called spike milligan heres gravestone which sais "I told you I was ill"

"If I were useful, I'd be a paperweight."

I want to be one of those tree food pods. Not sure what to put on the plaque though.

There's never a convenient time to die.

A couple of my favorite existing ones are:

'The Beat Goes On' - Sonny Bono

'Swingin' on a Star' - Jimmy Van Heusen

"We couldn't decide between cremation or burial at sea. So we had him poached."

Up the chimney for me. I've watched my ex and her family squabble over her mum's grave for too many years. Arguing over who had the rights to the top centre flower pot. Arguing over the plot not being maintained well enough. A massive row over whether or not they should shorten the grave. I don't want to leave that kind of liability behind.

I've filled out the organ donor registration, and the bits they don't want can go on the barbie. Let people get on with their lives. I'm sure those who want to mourn will be able to do so without a shrine.

I quite liked Spike Milligan's "I told you I was ill" but I can't think of anything more original myself. I do want Freebird played at my funeral. There's a rather personal (and somewhat rude) reason for that, that only a handful of people will understand. It'll be a last laugh from beyond the grave (well from beyond the curtans to the incinerator.)

She came. She saw. She did some shit. She got tired. Shes gone.