If they showed up, I would pop a beer and offer them one, then the battle would start.

Generally I ignore them and don't answer. Would have answered the door naked once but didn't realize thats who they were til they were walking away as I cannot see the front door from my window.... would have been great except I'm pretty sure it would have seriously freaked out the dude I just got done fucking lol... especially since the guy was from Japan and I was the first american household he had ever been in that wasn't his bosses house. I had a very nervous naked japanese dude I had to explain Jahovas witnesses to tho... they knocked on my door just as we were grabbing our clothes and I think it freaked him out a bit so I had to explain who they were and why they just show up randomly

Invite them to a swingers party.

If they’re Mormans, after you tell them you’re not interested, they are supposed to ask if there is anything else you would want them to do— ask them to clean your windows, paint the garage, or anything else and they should do it for you.

Coincidentally, a few days after this original post went up, my doorbell rang, and, as usual, I ignored it. The next day I checked my front porch and there was a flyer stuck in the door... from the Jehovah's Witnesses, inviting me to a commemoration of the death of Christ. As an agnostic introvert, I can't think of anything I'd rather do, but I have to rotate my tires that day, so I won't be able to make it.

The strange thing is that's the first time I've ever had one come to my door and I've lived here for 20 years.

Just say no thank you. Don’t stop again.