Ouch that stuff is rough.

I think admitting a big mistake is extremely hard. I say that without any knowledge of you or your relationship or any training.

That's how I think I feel.

I won't give advice then, only say. You will get over it.

From reading your post I think you know exactly what you're going through. Of course, as you and most of the rest of us have discovered, it doesn't make it any easier. It still can be fucking painful. Peace.

I can understand your feelings. I left a terrible marriage after over 30 years of really trying. Yes, I regretted the wasted time in that relationship. But pne cannot dwell on the "lost" time if one is to have a life. Chalk it up to experiene and move on. Just don't make the same mistakes again.

I do not wish to punish her, but I will never be able to forgive my first wife for persiting in behavior that she knew was destroying our relationship. But, I want nothing to do with her ever again.

I found a very different person and we have been happly married for almost 23 years.

If you think you have to fix another person that is on you. If they like who they are, and I don't know that he did, there is nothing to fix. All relationships are not meant to last forever. People and circumstances change. DON'T Beat yourself up. Sorry, you got advice anyway.

Trite as it always sounds (and always will), it is a death of sorts. Of a life, a way of life. Of lives. An identity. There is a life outside of this. It's hard to see it through the cloud that is divorce or the end of a relationship. As trite as what people say "it gets better" .... and I heard it so mucking futch, it really does get better! But you have to be willing to work at it. It's not a chore if you want to feel better. It's a labor of love ... for ones self! Get a good counselor, if you don't have one! I love & respect mine. I've done IOP (intensive out patient) also. Watch TED talks on you tube about motivation! Get involved in volunteer organizations! You can move on and be great! Saying I feel great ote even just good is cathartic and self actualizing!

wow im amazed you know exactlt the time you were together. i feel the same about the lost years but it wasnt a prison so partly my fault and im not that unhappy.

I am sorry for your loss.

I hope you feel better soon