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Why did you get married?

And if you are not married but would like to be - why?

I ask this in a non-judgmental way. I am merely curious. In my experience, many of us are conditioned by society to believe it's necessary. As I've aged I've realized that isn't true for many of us.

Personally, I do not feel the need to get married. However, if I were to end up with a life partner who felt it was important, then we could go down to city hall and sign some paperwork. But by no means will I ever have a wedding!

NicThePoet 7 Mar 4
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41 comments (26 - 41)

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1

Not married but I'm in the same mind set as you. Mostly I think it would be nice to find a special someone who's weirdness compliments my own. Share private moments, do things together, but still be able to give each other space.

1

It was 1979, I was 17 with a baby and if the parents got married before a child was 6 months old, it could have the father's name. More than 6 months required adoption. I had 3 weeks to spare.

Second time, I gave into family pressure and married who everyone thought was a nice guy that would take care of me blah blah blah.

1

Well the first time was to escape an abusive home. The second time, I suppose because it seemed like the thing to do at the time. There really were a whole lot of reasons for the second time, none of them had anything to do with love though. At least on my part.

1

You hit the nail on the head. I am conditioned by society to believe so many things are necessary. I got married, had kids, divorced- now like so many guys I effectively paid my ex to shack up with another dude, whilst she took everything I owned. Left me to consider truth. She was very religious and I had tried to fall in line. Tried to make a bed and lie in it. Guess my heart wanted love but my brain rebelled being turned into a thick paste. Some days I feel I rise above it, above the programming. I know ill never get married again, but I also know I might because im stupid lol. as society keeps pumping out what I apparently should want into my brain its very hard to convince myself that its just constructed BS. Hard because finding anyone like minded seems virtually impossible lol. Plus I see the sheeples around me wallowing in the construction and they seem happy, they get human contact... its like everyone is sleep walking and it makes me I want to sleep walk too.
Gah I think marriage is a bad idea. I like the notion but it seems either im crap at it or it really is a toxic turd.

Good answer (s)

1

I felt sort of like my mom expected me to get married after college. I married my ex 2 months after graduation. I was 22 and 20 when we met. He was 9 years older than me so we started a family right away. Raising kids is hard business. About 10 years in I realized how unhappy I was and that I was WAY too young to know what I wanted in a spouse. Took another 10 years before I finally divorced.

I genuinely hope my daughters wait longer than I did to get married and start a family. But....I’m also going to be an empty nester when I’m 45 so that is a big plus.

I am 99% sure I’ll never get married again. I’m also a bit cynical about love and if men actually have feelings so who knows, that could change.

1

I'm still asking myself that same question.

1

Tax reasons would be the only reason I would not get the need to otherwise . Maybe it was my instincts or summit like that

1

Which time?

0

My husbands needed a passport.

0

I knocked up some old gal.

0

I was living with my girlfriend, we purchased properties together, then we had twins, I was covered under her ins policy, after the kids were born they dropped me from her plan, so we drove down to Mexico and got married, it ended in divorce 3 years later

0

Because of a discussion that got out of hand when I was 20 years old, totally drunk, and the bitch was so pushy, she rang her parents and all her friends before I regained conscioussness, and she would not let go. I like forceful women, but not like this. I so almost didn't show for the wedding, it was literally a toss of a coin.

0

Today would have been my 29th wedding anniversary. I got married for 2 reasons. I loved him and for some reason getting married was important to him, so I went along. Added bonus, it got me out of my mother's house.

0

I was young, and stupid, and raised on the religious pablum that this was expected of me based on my gender. It didn't last long, I never did it again & never darkened a church door after the divorce.

0

I was young, and in love, and thought life was like a Disney movie only better.

0

Weddings can be a sign of commitment (no snarky comments here!), legal/financial reasons or especially if one is going to start a family. "Marriage" can be/mean many things, but the legal commitment is usually just that, for the peace of mind of financial/familial security. What may not be needed for a couple may be important for a "family".

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