2 Weeks on "Plenty Of Fish"
I decided to give the "Plenty Of Fish" dating site a try. Here's my initial impressions, after about 2 weeks, in case anyone else is thinking of trying it:
First- it seems like Tinder (which I've never been on, only read about) only with fewer nude pics. When I first signed up, I felt like a guy walking into a single's bar for the first time. I had so many notifications of people checking my profile that it was ridiculous. At first, I had set my email to give me notifications from the site, but it's so unselective as to be useless. The site doesn't categorize between emails about messages, emails about other notifications, general site notifications... now I dump everything in my spam folder.
Second- it's a very clumsy site to navigate. It took me days to work out how to set requirements on my profile as to who could email me at all. Now at least I'm not getting messages from across the country.
Third- it's not at all selective as to who it presents as matches, although it claims to be. At least 75 percent of the women it's tried to match me with are shown as Christian in one way or another (it shows denominations, which is a nice touch, I suppose, IF you're an Xian and worry about that sort of thing). I can't find any sort of filter that says "I'm looking for non-religious matches". "Atheist" and "Agnostic" aren't even categories.
There's also an optional personality test through which one can tell others that religion either is or is not important to you. I've seen many "non-religious" people who also rate religion as important... someone's confused. Unless they're trying to say, it's important to be an atheist, and that's as close as the site lets them get to expressing that?
Fourth- SO MANY FAKE PROFILES that it's ridiculous. I gave up trying to report them after the third day. I can only guess that it's in the hundreds by now, that I've personally been messaged by. All the profiles nearly identical, all claiming to be near my age, with pictures of women in their 20s or 30s, some of which are just lingerie shots and in one case a topless pic (not that I have a problem with that); one of three or four identical "about me" paragraphs (and they aren't the ones supplied by the site, especially not the one that goes, "when I'm not at work I'm at home m@sturb@ting" ); hair color description that doesn't come close to the picture; and high school education, with a career like "engineer", "pilot", or "surgeon". 
I've decided that leaving them alone is contributing to natural selection; any man stupid enough to reply to them beyond a facetious response (which I sometimes give the best ones) deserves to learn a lesson.
Slightly more subtle was the woman who seemed to be genuine, but who evaded my question about how long she had lived in her town quite near me and instead changed the subject to setting up a video chat through POF; for which she needed my email address to send the site admin. Friends and neighbors, there is no video chat service on POF. A quick search confirmed this is a known scam, with a fake service that uses POF's logos but is a completely different company. I reported her. Sad to say, it looks like they took her profile down, but she came back with the same name and no picture yet. Obviously the admins are either swamped with fraudulent users, or they just don't care enough to watch for the fakes who come back again and again.
It bears repeating here: NEVER give personal identifying information like your email to someone on a dating site, and especially don't give financial information.
Fifth- there are some nice and genuine people on there, who can hold a very good conversation. I had an extremely good one my first week, almost agreed to meet for coffee, when it turned out she hadn't realized that "non-religious" on my profile didn't just mean "doesn't go to church", but meant "atheist". She said it was a deal breaker and meant it; our first phone conversation turned out to be our last, about 65 seconds later. But I'm currently having another very nice conversation with someone that may or may not go anyplace.
So, it's a very mixed bag. You will get a ton of messages, but have to sift through a lot of gravel to find the tiny gleam of gold. And that gold will often as not turn out to be pyrite. But just like any dating site, you're playing the odds. I'm going to keep playing until my subscription runs out, and then I'll either have met someone through it, or I'll give up on it. Either way I'll have seen a lot of interesting lingerie pics. 
19
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
44 comments (26 - 44)
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I met a lot of women using POF and four long term relationships. It's not a great site and it has a lot of problems but so does every site that's out there. You won't find anything different on sites that you pay subscription fees for honestly.
You just need to be smart and patient enough to separate wheat from chaff.
GrantSmith
Level 6
Apr 28, 2019
1
Good for you, and I'll settle for just one. I agree, it's a process, and I'm not impatient. Just thought I could be informative and amusing with this account of my brief experience.
Did you say subscription? It's a free site. No different than any other dating site but they get hacked a lot so you get a lot of spam from supposedly gorgeous 20 year olds. You'll learn that anything with a number at the end of it isn't a legitimate profile. You can set your preferences as to what you're looking for and the distance from your location.
lerlo
Level 8
Apr 28, 2019
1
Yes, subscription. It's intentionally unclear during the signup process, so it pushes people into thinking you have to pay to join up. Capitalism, it's a wonderful thing.
Its clumsy for sure and daunting at times and sometimes just plain sucks, but I met my husband on there. We’ve been married for 5 years in October and together for 7 now so don’t disregard it. We did have to fish through the masses though to finally find each other. Nice thing though is it was easier to find the assholes before I ever accepted a date with anyone.
Stressmonster
Level 3
Apr 28, 2019
1
Congratulations to you both!
I'm not saying by any means that the site's without value, and I'm an optimist by nature. I made a real connection with someone my first week (until the atheist thing came up). I just have to learn more about it and meanwhile, I'm getting some good laughs.
More like Plenty of Ho's.
KeithJones
Level 5
Apr 28, 2019
1
Where do I find this "plenty of ho's" I wanna join in on the fun...lol \s
None of them were "into you?"
Only if you purchased an ID from a website so they felt "safe" > Obvious scam.
@MarkiusMahamius @KeithJones only if I was willing to shell out my cc
POF is nothing but a way too put your money in their pocket!
Tinder is another complete joke!
Zoosk, Match, Our time, and do not forget E harmony all offering a fancy way to meet the one you are longing for by duping you into paying for trolls, frauds, fakes, and scammers to fleece you from the site you pay to belong too!
All these dating sites are good for us, by taking your money and wasting your time on what was never there in the first place!
I have met three girls on two different sites over three year period!
I would not call them ladies or women!
All of them have what most would consider manic depressive, bipolar, sociopath, and possibly psychotic tendencies or a combination of all the above!
There is no way of knowing who is real, if there photographs are really them or if they were even taken in the last year!
Huge amount of Prince Charming/ White Knight Hunters!
All most all are overtly needed, want 60 year old who has the body and stamina of 25 year old and the wealth of hedge fund manager!
It is a numbers game!
Only one problem the numbers are not increasing!
At our age were do you meet anyone sane that does not go to church, to a bar, or a twelve step program member?
of-the-mountain
Level 9
Apr 28, 2019
1
obviously you do not use POF!
To play as man it costs!
Yes! Selective is the word!
They are less and less of us out there as we age!
So you settle if that is your forte, unlike you the vast majority of us, we do not live near massive amounts of age appropriate individuals which are possibly compatible with one another!
@SeaGreenEyez It may possibly have free features, but they're very well hidden and it's not made at all clear what features you could access for free during the sign-up process. I hesitated for over a year before trying this experiment. I doubt I'll renew. Like OK Cupid, which doesn't even show you the people who've "liked" you unless you're a paid member, I wonder what features you can actually get for free.
It might also be the case, as implied above, that the site discriminates against men somehow.
@SeaGreenEyez I believe you, but the site deliberately obfuscates what features it has for free, in advance of deciding whether or not to join as a paid member. Maybe it wasn't that way to begin with, but that's the business model now.
Free dating sites are usually useless.
KKGator
Level 9
Apr 28, 2019
1
Yes!
Beyond any redeemable value!
@of-the-mountain yet, here we are
@MarkiusMahamius Not everyone on this site is here for dating. Some of us only came here for community.
@KKGator
Yes! Too much distance between members!
@of-the-mountain That's not my reason, but everyone has their own.
@KKGator
Yes!
That is the point we can still pick and choose what we still want and will tolerate!
My experiences with POF is that the site gives up on me, thinks I have a fake profile or agenda, and they boot me out. This has happened twice as I go back to find I have no profile and cannot log in. My reaction is to say "Chuck You, Farley." I don't see how they have any fish?
DenoPenno
Level 9
May 2, 2019
0
Have tried PO and other dating sites. Most all have the same issues with scammers.
The bieeger problem for me though is the unnaturalness of trying to find a date online and the silly way the sites are structure with all those useless notifications. Wow, you have three likes and four people liked your pic and six people made you a fav. Those "winks" are about the dumbest thing. I can't stand the dumbness of it all.
BTW, Match.com owns almost all the dating sites, including POF. corporation[entrepreneur.com]
itsmedammit
Level 8
Apr 30, 2019
0
I kind of thought so, once I saw the cross-advertising links. Companies don't advertise for their competition.
POF has the most fake and scammer profiles I have ever seen anywhere. Please stay away.
St-Sinner
Level 9
Apr 29, 2019
0
And at the same time, I'm having a long and complex intellectual discussion with someone right now, who is actually cautioning me that she hasn't had luck with romantic relationships and wants to keep things low-key. Not a scammer behavior, they will want to go fast and get your information ASAP.
It's a very mixed bag.
On the various dating sites I've experienced over the years, I've seen the occasional faked profile but have never had someone try to scam me. Guess I am an outlier.
Mitch07102
Level 8
Apr 29, 2019
0
I also had a stalker that I met on OKC if I remember right. You had good luck.
whatever happened to just walking into a bar & meeting someone? i guess when i was between marriages it was a simpler time. almost like "Cheers" i suppose. but don't ppl still have their favorite watering holes?
callmedubious
Level 8
Apr 28, 2019
0
I tell ya, Dubious, places are so loud these days, full of big-screen TVs... and people travel in packs. It's frankly intimidating unless you're already going there to meet someone specific.
An unpleasant drain of time and money, nope!
Generally too noisy for convo. Besides all you can find in a bar are people who like to hang in bars.
Thanks for sharing. I am looking to get back into the dating arena after taking some time away, and it can be intimidating trying to figure out where to start.
pasha-one-nine
Level 7
Apr 28, 2019
0
If I might advise... don't start with POF. If I hadn't had 18 month's experience of other sites, this one would have thrown me for a real loop instead of giving me a good laugh.
They've probably changed a bit since I was on. I got tired of getting alerts from women in my age group who needed a "God fearing man." Replying and stating that I was an atheist was a great way to weed out future conflict. I deleted my profile 7 yrs ago and haven't looked back.
IAJO163
Level 8
Apr 28, 2019
0
I don't think it has always been like this, I've had a profile on their site for quite some time, but i recently just started contacting some people, and had the same experience you had. I noticed that the fake and alternate website advertising profiles seem to generate responses back after you email them, which is unfortunate.
Vintenar
Level 5
Apr 28, 2019
0
Yes POF is a pain.
I'm surprised they are not doing more to combat the fake profiles, it just hurts them.
I have mixed feelings on greetings, I don't mind simple hellos or hey there. Longer is nicer but how much effort do you expect me to put in if there is an unknown effort coming back.
I wonder if there is a way to make a dating site that would encourage replies and conversation, something like if you want only longer chats you have to respond back. I dunno
Honorabledougn
Level 6
Apr 28, 2019
0
In some ways, this website is kind of like what you describe, but it is small and not so big to attract spammers yet.
There is a search feature where you can choose religion categories if you go to advanced search. That's for searching profiles rather than searching through your messages. Messaging others makes it more likely that you will be communicating with a genuine person. You can also see when the person was last online. It's a waste of time to message people who aren't there anymore. I think they like the scammers because they make the site look more popular.
Looks like someone below was commenting the same thing at the same time.
As far as it being a waste of time: Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Stephanie99
Level 8
Apr 28, 2019
0
I want the filter to work without my having to search profiles. Too much to ask, I suppose. It strikes me that, on the scale of low-rent to high-end sites, this is definitely the low end of the scale.
@Paul4747;
I don't think you've discovered the "advanced search" (for POF).
You can specify -
-non-religious or "other" or "new-age"
-height
-distance
and many other choices.
This way you can avoid the absentees...or the non-responders ("on line now" are listed first).
But remember there's a very competitive, if not better "free" dating site.. right here.
Agnostic.com has many options - if you're "ready to be out there".
The problem with A.com is its newness - and thus it's low membership, and wide dispersal of members.
...but A.com is growing....
Robecology
Level 9
Apr 28, 2019
0
As I said, it's a very clumsy site to navigate. Thank you.
I joined this site intending to use it as a dating resource, but it's become a social thing instead. I don't think most of the members here are here to date, and those that are, I've found... don't want to date me. But that's true of the world at large, why should this site be any different?
@Paul4747 Exactly.
Get "dating" out of your goal/mind.
Just relate your life. Interact as much as possible.
We all have "followers" and "favorites"....some folks (including me) have been burned and are very hesitant to start over...so develop more "self-love" get used to "being alone" and just interact....there's possibly some potential "mates" out there keeping a tab/eye on you...but if not...let it be.
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
Share this post
Related Groups More
Memes R Us
2991 members
Categories
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.