What is the "incel" movement all about?
This is a serious question, and I'm not looking to start a flame war: what is the "incel" (involuntarily celibate) movement about, and why does it exist?
The first time I heard this term, I thought it was used by others as an insult for men who weren't "man enough" to get sex (sort of how "cuck" has been used in recent years for weakness and acquiescence in the political realm), but then I quickly discovered that it was being used self-referentially. That, however, seems to me to be a very odd position: embracing a victimhood mentality, accepting a label of weakness, assuming insecurity as a form of self-identification. But my impression is that these self-proclaimed incels consider themselves as masculine, tough, and confident men, so what gives?
Do we have any men on this site who consider themselves to be incels? If so, can you please explain why you identify as such — not just that you're not getting laid, but why you embrace that as your identity? And can you explain what the incel movement is trying to achieve? I'm genuinely in the dark on this, and what I've found so far in my reading has been confusing and seemingly muddled or contradictory.
I'm also curious, as there are a lot of men who find love and/or have satisfying sex lives who are at every extreme: extraverts, introverts, very tall, very short, heavy, skinny, rough, effete, hirsute, smooth, erudite, undereducated, conservative, liberal, religious, secular, ambitious, lazy, creative, analytical, etc. It's certainly possible for people from all walks of life to find love and obtain sex, made clear just from observing the world around us, so what's the thinking about why the incels are unsuccessful and upset by their plight? In a world of hookup apps and dating sites and online interest communities and long-distance travel capabilities, there's never been an easier time to find compatibility or at least a fling. So why is this incel movement growing now?
Thanks to anyone who has insight into what's truly driving this movement, what it stands for, the mental state of these men, etc.
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According to the Wikipedia article there are a number of female incel web sites and there is some controversy over whether there are more women incels than men.
Screaming and yelling and demonizing these incels and banishing them from society will do nothing but radicalize them further.
WilliamFleming
Level 8
May 11, 2019
2
I like Natalie Wynn’s treatment of the topic:
ejbman
Level 7
May 11, 2019
1
Great breakdown of incels
From what my 28yr old son has explained to me, many incel is men who believe that women absolutely hate men. In otherwords, if it wasn't for feminist, they would be able to get laid. Because of the "me too" movement, women believe they are better than men, and because of that, men can't be sexist towards them (which the men believe is the normal).
Now, I have no idea if this is correct in all cases, but this is how my son sees the movement.
kiramea
Level 7
May 10, 2019
2
Another label that divides and separates people even further. Don’t know why we buy into this nonsense.
Geoffrey51
Level 8
May 12, 2019
1
I wonder if that incel thing is not simply a wrong answer to a good question. I wonder if incels are highly obsessed with traditionnal sexual stereotypes, narrow stereotypes about what a real man and what a real woman should be like. Incels might feel frustrated and unattractive because they don't match with these stereotypes.
QuidamOutrepont
Level 8
May 11, 2019
1
More like little boys who have had their mothers say yes to them all their lives but when a real women says no they throw their toys out of their prams
From what I've read and heard about them, they go way beyond simply being obsessed with stereotypes. Many of not most of them sound clearly disturbed. They love to talk about violence against women and to egg each other on. I find their attitudes and behavior deplorable. It's just bullshit to blame women for their own failures, and to feel they are entitled to sex regardless of their behavior or attitudes. They are screwed-up people though, clearly. Perhaps some professional help can turn some of them around.
“Involuntary celibate” - A movement by people that are unable to have sex to somehow force others to have sex with them. Something like that. I don’t know as I’m not an incel. Hopefully an incel can chime with a better definition.
indirect76
Level 7
May 10, 2019
1
celebrities?
@greyeyed123 Oops. Must have been auto correct.
Incel/Veganism, etc, etc, imho are just the newish 'trends' trying to change the human race into their own images/ideologies. i.e. a possibly new-age terrorism/fascism under a very, very thin veneer of caring, kindness, sweetness, etc, etc.
Somewhat similar to the ' Australian Activists for Indigenous Australians' who are little more than, imho, Europeans who see a great source of income and Media Exposure by exploiting others.
Triphid
Level 9
May 11, 2019
0
How ‘Incel’ Got Hijacked: What started as an empathetic term became a rallying point for violent men. [politico.com]
Patriarchy, Pop Culture, And The Taboo Of Adult Male Virginity [theestablishment.co]
Buxx
Level 7
May 11, 2019
0
So some guys decide to be celibate for some reason or other. That’s their decision and there’s no need to demonize them. Lots of women make that same decision.
I expect most of ‘em will backslide anyway.
WilliamFleming
Level 8
May 10, 2019
0
It’s not a decision to be celibate. The “in” in “incel” is “involuntary”.
These are not guys just 'deciding' to be celibate. They are violently blaming women for their lack of sexual exploitations. A BIG difference.
Not familiar with "incel".
Sticks48
Level 9
May 10, 2019
0
[en.wikipedia.org]
They’re a fucked up lot
@Green_eyes Interesting. A group of guys that can't get laid. Do they have meetings, rallies, and t-shirts? GEEZ! Thanks.
@Sticks48 it’s called a trump rally
@MsAl, @Green_eyes I will bet they are a charismatic bunch. They probably have a drawer full of pocket protectors they no longer use, live with their mothers, or both.
@Green_eyes boom!
@Green_eyes ROFLMAO!
@Green_eyes So they meet and have a giant circle jerk.
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