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Dating: Have you tried building an activity partner?

I'm tired of teaching men to hike.

First, you need your own equipment: hiking boots, socks, day pack, enough food, hat, hiking clothes, sunscreen, insect repellent, headlamp, raincoat, warm jacket, water container(s) and over 10 hiking essentials (look it up).

This turns me into a babysitter and program director. I carefully choose a hike considering: his fitness, trail length and beauty, elevation gain, safety, temperature and time of day, danger, exposure- avoid south-facing slopes on a hot afternoon- weather forecast, snow report, horses and crowds. At about three miles, I plan a view spot to stop for lunch.

This sentences me to easy, low elevation hikes to condition beginners and not burn them out. I carry items novices often forget like extra water, food, insect repellent and toilet paper.

Meanwhile, I'm eager to get up to high alpine lakes on steeper trails.

"Should I put on my jacket?" one man asked repeatedly. "Should I remove my jacket?" I grew irritated. "Only you know how your body feels," I replied crisply. "Decide for yourself."

Basically, I'm spoiling people. "That was wonderful!" they enthuse. "Let's do it again next week at a different beautiful place!"

Sigh. As if I have an endless supply of snow-free, easy, uncrowded, and beautiful hikes for May or June that haven't been destroyed by wildfires or clear-cutting.

Novices are blissfully unaware of the preparation I put into hikes. I make it look easy.

Some men won't listen to a woman and do numskull, dangerous things in the mountains . I am through with teaching men to hike.

Good news! Yesterday I had an hour-long, wonderful and funny conversation with Mike Woodmansee, 63, author of "Trekking Washington." He lives in Mt. Vernon, 155 miles away. We met on Fitness Singles.

Mike is a passionate hiker. He climbed Mt. McKinley twice. In a week or two, Mike will drive to Wenatchee to meet me. I'm still rehabilitating from a broken toe.

Hopefully, my foot will be healed enough for us to do an easy, short walk or hike together.

[amazon.com]

Your thoughts?

LiterateHiker 9 July 1
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15 comments

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1

Now Mike sounds like your type. Anything but a novice, if his book reviews are to be believed. Good luck!

1

If you arent one that likes to teach someone about hiking- don't. And if you resent them for you having to put up with a less difficult hike, just don't. I am guessing they get it.

1

Do not worry about me, my knees are shot and I have trouble walking in a store, I do it though cause I need the exercise. I know you are going to say what exercize, but you do not have my knees. Besides any man who you would let into your home would weigh more than you could stand if they did not get out and try to keep up with you. You are a good cook and I am a good eater, I figured it out long ago. I hope you are laughing!

2

Why would you look for a man to teach to hike at your level instead of finding one that had already accomplished this himself? Also, who's fault is it that said novice has no idea how much work you put into your prep if you don't tell them beforehand? Of course he will blissfully unaware. From your post it seems obvious that hiking is your most important passion. Instead of disappointing yourself by even trying to date a man who doesn't share that passion maybe make pro level hiker a personal requirement of anyone you give a chance too. Or make it a personal passion and accept that most people are not going to be the same caliber hiker you are. There is nothing that says your partner in romance has to be your hiking partner. If you have to have it that way then you must accept that your pool of potential partners is much smaller than most and make choices thusly.

@GrnArrow

"I love hiking!" men enthuse just to get close to me.

1

stupid people die in the hills - see people in trainers and Tshirts walking up the little 'mountains of the UK without extra clothing, food etc ... never realise that an extra 1000ft elevation with cloud blowing in can become very deadly very quickly

@ShadowAmicus

Exactly.

At the gym last week, Anthony, 28, said he recently did the arduous thru-hike of the Enchantments, 18 miles. On the brutally steep descent, he found two men from Brazil stumbling and incoherent from dehydration.

"They had no idea what they were getting into," Anthony said. "Their water bottles were empty and they had no water purification tablets. With my water filter, I pumped and refilled their water bottles."

"I decided to stick with them because they were in such bad shape," he said. "I had a water purifier. Besides, I needed a ride to my car."

They could have easily died.

[rootsrated.com]

1

I enjoy a leisurely stroll on some local trails. I am cat sitting for a friend while he tackles the Pacific Crest Trail. He is on month 3 and so far he has done well.

2

I walk my dog for up to two hours at a time. I feel this means I'm justified putting hiker on my profile.

I’m with you!

1

Hmmmmmmm... we were all novices at something once? Advanced skydivers, hang gliders, rock climbers, mountain bikers all have the same dilemma? Some people enjoy being a mentor and enjoy sharing their sport with newbies - but they have to want to become proficient as you have. Leaning woodscraft is like any craft and a mentor is helpful. There is an REI store in Anchorage that has free classes on many outdoor sports and can teach the basics - maybe look up the closest store and see what they offer - at least you could ask somebody to learn the basics first and save you some irritation. Maybe you could suggest that the under 35 hiking club in your area consider hosting a class for newbies of all ages and maybe even volunteer to me a mentor/coach for an evening class? I agree - be prepared and safety is alway top priority. I carried a short barreled 12 gage pump shotgun when camping in Alaska bear country - never shot the damn thing - even for practice. I have hunted in my youth and know how to use a shotgun. It was the same gun the rangers carry in bear country up here. I also always carry Bear Mace - pepper spray. You might consider that for your hikes - works on many animals - including the 2 legged ones. My motto was "always better to have it and not need it than to need it and not have it." It kinda sounds like you are looking for Bear Grylls in tight hiking shorts and well worn Vasque mountain boots... Like me in Wasilla, Alaska hoping to meet Janis Joplin - Ha! The odds aren't in our favor... but you never stop hoping?

2

Move to where there are more compatible folks.

@jerry99

I live in a spectacular hiking area: North Central Washington. All of my hiking partners are married.

In rural Eastern Washington, Wenatchee is largely Republican, Christian and married. As an atheist and Democrat, I usually date men from liberal Seattle.

@LiterateHiker your call obviously, but if you don’t want to hike alone (which makes good sense) and there are no compatible hiking partners in your area, then it seems to me you need to either move or forget about hiking.

@jerry99

On Tuesdays, I hike with three, strong, women hikers. They are all married.

With a strong sex drive, I want a committed relationship with an intelligent, funny, fit and kind man.

Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking,

For five years, I tried to build my own hiking partners. Gave up on that.

Thank goodness I found these women! The group boiled down to the four of us.

@jerry99

My life changed in when Karen walked into the library book club in hiking clothes in 2014. After a morning hike, she was glowing.

Immediately made a beeline to Karen. Sat down beside her. We hit it off. Karen invited me to join her hiking group.

The hiking group was an offshoot of the American Association of University Women hiking group.

Six strong hikers broke off when the group got too big, and their hikes got shorter as women had injuries and joint replacements.

Then the leader, Shirley, banned dogs. This upset Karen and Gro who hike with their dogs every day.

So, Karen, Gro, Susan and I formed our own Tuesday hiking group in 2015.

1

No thoughts, listen to your body 😊 (Sorry, couldn't resist.... Not really sorry though)

1

Sounds great!

1

do what feels right

1

I have friends who do certain activities with me. Sometimes the friendahip came forst. Sometimes i was doing something and found someone who shared the interest. You seem to have exhausted means of meeting people and annoyed because the folks you've found are not as experienced as you.

Maybe putting a note on any dating sites you're on indicating you are looking for an experiened hiker and making it clear what you want before you get climbing?

Good luck finding what you want!

@Lilyfield41

Read my profile. I wrote:

"I'm seeking an athletic, intelligent man with a great sense of humor who treats me with respect and kindness. Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking, and only shoots with a camera.

"Although I'm a great cook, I'm not willing to do all of the meal planning, preparation and cooking. Everyone loves the magic words: "Dinner is served."

This doesn't stop non-hikers. "You can teach me to hike," men say.

@LiterateHiker i love biking - with a b- but im not ready for mountain biking in the poconos.

1

Hike by yourself more often.

@Mitch07102

I NEVER hike alone. It is unsafe.

What if I get injured or lost? There is no one to do first aid or go for help.

In my 30s, I hiked alone twice. Both times, I was harassed by men with guns on horses, heading up for the high hunt. It was terrifying.

"Hey pretty lady! Where are you spending the night? We'll join you! Har, har, har!"

Spent the night in my tent, jumping with every snap and crackle in the woods. Thought I was going to be raped and killed.

At daybreak, I broke camp and ran out of there. Never again.

@LiterateHiker My bad......

1

Yes i can see it getting tiring,,so maybe put a call out for experinced hiking buddies or group..certainly will have more fun and can concentrate on the adventure not the lessons

@RoyMillar

"Put out a call"? Where? How?

The only meetup in Wenatchee, WA for hikers limits their group to age 35 and under.

Recently I met four women hikers. Hooray! But they only do easy, low elevation, short hikes. Boring.

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