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How do you answer, "I want to know more about you"?

This message from men floors me. "What does he want to know?" I wonder. My personal history? The onus is on me to entertain him.

Yesterday I got that message from a man in Germany. "I suggest you focus on women in Germany," I replied.

Reminds me of my mother. "How are you really?" Mom repeatedly asked. Because I was born prematurely, Mom saw me as delicate, even as an adult.

"What do you want, my bowel movements?" I replied, amused, to sidestep the question.

LiterateHiker 9 Aug 18
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54 comments

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1

With some general stuff nothing specific until I know you better

bobwjr Level 10 Aug 21, 2019
1

"I want to know more about you."
Why? So you can steal my identity?

Deb57 Level 8 Aug 21, 2019
2

When a woman from far away replies i simply wish her well. What the hell was she thinking I muse? When I get like from female far away and simply just wander what was going through their heads. I often think they just want ANY attention, not my type.

As far as bowel movements I only discussed that with my X-wife in the case of medical concerns. Not a very hot topic, GOOD MOVE!
See what I did there!

Both! All or nothing, goddammit! "Yea, tho we walking through the Shadow of the Valley of Death we will fear NO evil, for you and I are the BADDEST muthafuckers in the Valley... right, @DeniseNycee?

1

We are born alone(unless twins or triplets) and will die alone,mostly. Finding a mate begins in Jr.High Schools when hormones begin affecting our bodies(or earlier,due to food additives and the UV from Fluorescent light fixtures). Girls are maturing at earlier ages each generation,it seems.

Loneliness can be tolerated,hobbies and volunteering will occupy the time,maybe some of us do not want a family?

2

I'd answer with "what do you want to know"?

1

If I’d known how empowering celibacy is I’d have at least a decade of my life back. What else would you like to know?

I’m guessing the noise you hear in reply will be a choir of crickets. Just sayn’

1

Must be from the same man that contacted me. He was a person of very few words but was ever so interested in me.

My experience with guys like that on dating apps is that they're scammers. It seems to be their modus operandi.

@nomorechristian Yes, I definitely think he was/is a scammer. Well he was certainly wasting his time with me.

1

That question sounds like job interview and very cold.

1

Lol good answer

Neenz Level 7 Aug 19, 2019
1

"Why would that be?"

2

I can't put in all in a cup and let you drink in the information. You just have to hangout with me to know.

1

Just tell them to check wikipedia, and if they ask you what your full name is to look it up, tell them, that it's also on wikipedia.

1

might be wanting to know about your likes and dislikes . How smart you are.

1

This post is both curious and enlightening. In my early days of online dating i may have asked the same question. But what would happen if it was in person and not online? Say you met someone through a family member or mutual aquaintance. You don't know much about each other, but for whatever reason you find him attractive and somewhat interesting. So you agree to a date and the first thing he says is "i want to know more about you. Tell me about yourself". Would it still be off putting?

@Tucsongirl1 i have been asked the same type of question by women many timee and i just look at it as a light conversation starter. I never thought of it that way though. Guess it is a broad question! And with all the perils of online dating i can see why a more specific question would be preferred

@Tucsongirl1 I have done a lot of online dating and I have heard that question from woman many times before. I also just think it is a conversation starter and I start rattling on about where I live, my job, my pets, my hobbies, etc.. It often leads to a nice conversation about things we have in common and we both learn more about each other. I guess I have had a lot of practice and am ready with some responses.

1

"What do you want to know"?

1

I hate to seem contrarian, but I often say "please tell me more about yourself" to women on dating sites who have provided NO narrative. I provide a detailed narrative in each of my profiles, but many women provide only a photo, city, age, height; bare statistics.

One might ask: why contact a woman who provides such scant info? My answer is: why not? She isn't going to contact us - women don't do that (at least with me). And it's certainly her choice to provide that skeletal profile - if she only wants certain guys to contact her, the profile is the place to do that.

So, right or wrong, I often say "please tell me about yourself". It has to come before any meaningful chat can occur.

If I'm out of bounds with this behavior please tell me and I won't do it anymore.

@BitFlipper

I don't understand why many men don't read my profile. They just look at the photos.

I think in such cases, you’re fine with asking “tell me more about yourself.” It’s a pet peeve when folks don’t bother filling out their profile. I mean, it’s a dating site for F’s sake ... how am I supposed to learn about you? Lol.

My experience has been that a lot of men who write a minimal amount in their profile are actually scammers. 😟 So personally, what I do is to just pass on profiles like that. It saves a lot of time and aggravation.

1

Sure, what would you like to know. I'm not hiding anything.

2

In my experience , that question is often from someone who has not written his own bio. , or it's very short and ambiguous . He does not want to share a conversation , he wants you to do all of it .

Hear, hear!

2

I don't understand what all the fuss is about, that's an open ended question with basically unlimited answers. What it lacks in specificity it makes up for in opportunity. If you meet the guy on the internet, he's probably just at a loss for words or he doesn't want to accidentally offend you.

@Happy_Killbot

I refuse to type an autobiography for a guy who didn't read my profile.

@LiterateHiker Biography? What? No, just pick any one thing and say that, like what did you eat for breakfast, or what was the last news story you heard, or the last fun thing you did. Or ignore the request entirely and pick a topic you might want to talk to him about. Or try and guess a topic he might want to talk to you about. The fact that he didn't do any of those things means he probably a shmuck, but that doesn't mean you have to be rude.

@Happy_Killbot

The guy was from Germany. "I suggest you focus on women in Germany," I replied.

I was not rude.

@LiterateHiker None of this makes any sense. The distance, which I have to assume he was aware of because you were aware of it, means that either he is a shmuck or he has purely Platonic intentions. I guess I'm just going to have to trust your judgement.

1

It's quite possible he was intrigued by your bio & posts, and was being genuine in his attempt to find out more about you. I don't see anything wrong with asking that question, maybe you should change your bio to read "not interested in conversation".

@HughJassell

I love conversation and laughter! Idiotic messages I often get from guys:

  1. How are u today?

  2. I want to know more about you.

Instead show you read my profile.

@LiterateHiker Exactly!!! So many men are so lazy on dating apps!

1

If you truly want to know more start with the accurate composer of your questions and if you don't do that we are done.

You must have meant "composition"

1

If a guy wants to know more, they should ask the specific questions and not vague crap!

@Mofo1953

Exactly. Well said.

I was born in 1953, too.

@LiterateHiker year of the snake in the Chinese astrology, but don't fret because the snake is wise in Chinese lore..

1

That's one of my least favorite questions of all time, and another indication that I prefer dating in a more organic manner.

Questions like that are too robotic for me, and quite honestly, I'm pretty open with my dislike of them.

3

not a real profile. I only respond to messages that reference something specific in my profile .
What you have is a general question hoping to get a response. Ask them something specific and see what you get back.
Lots and lots of fake profiles on those dating sights

1

well, do something interesting in your life and show it off when you go out with people. that way you're already doing something and you have someone to brag at about it. hell, if they gave me a chance I could go on for hours and hours about some really interesting shit (at least to me) that I've been studying and reading and writing the last 10-12 years. don't look at it as a downer. geez. look at it as an opportunity to talk up the one thing you probably know better than anyone else in the world. take that mic and spotlight and belt it out.

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