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How do you answer, "I want to know more about you"?

This message from men floors me. "What does he want to know?" I wonder. My personal history? The onus is on me to entertain him.

Yesterday I got that message from a man in Germany. "I suggest you focus on women in Germany," I replied.

Reminds me of my mother. "How are you really?" Mom repeatedly asked. Because I was born prematurely, Mom saw me as delicate, even as an adult.

"What do you want, my bowel movements?" I replied, amused, to sidestep the question.

LiterateHiker 9 Aug 18
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54 comments

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3

Try answering "Such as my bank and PIN number?"
The reaction will indicate whether the person is worth cultivating.

Haha, that would be a great way to diffuse the awkwardness and get them to ask something more specific.

5

I think that is a question people ask when they are not sure what to say. Nerves maybe? If they read your bio there are usually good opening topics in there. The man I am currently seeing now did such a great job with that. Really read my bio and asked great questions. Your mom is another story 🙂)

In my opinion he wanted to begin a friendly conversation 😉

2

Lol guarded a bit? Its understandable to be so. Still it seems a fairly innocuous inquiry. Best case scenario, maybe he wants to be your friend..

@thinkwithme

Yesterday, the guy who asked lives in Germany. I blocked him when he wouldn't leave me alone.

@LiterateHiker I am Sorry to hear of Your Bad Experience... we us men should had learned by now how to take a hint and act correctly accordingly. You are a Catch... You are Attractive... a Beautiful Person... but You shouldn't be Harassed or Bothered by Any One and for No Reason.

@GipsyOfNewSpain

Thank you so much!

@LiterateHiker I wonder if it was the same German guy who messaged me.

1

A question like that is usually followed by several questions, what makes you laugh etc. in general romantic type questions to promote romantic thoughts?

2

Hey i want know more about you!

@Williamcristiano

He lives in Germany. What's the point?

@LiterateHiker could be a friend! No harm in that

@GreatNani

Life is short. It's a waste of time.

@LiterateHiker hahaha i am kidding with you😂

@LiterateHiker That statement you just made to @GreatNani sounds like a riposte to Ashley Maddison's slogan! 😀😃

@Petter

Oooh, I love that you said "riposte." Good word choice. Talk to me, baby....

@LiterateHiker I love the vast vocabulary of English. On another thread here, I put forward the expression "Shog off", as used by Shakespeare.
Shog is to move with alacrity, so adding the off is, being polite, "begone".
I've used the expression since my late teens. It is an utterly innocuous, yet most concise way to convey one's feelings.

@LiterateHiker There are various people here with whom I would love a coffee date.

@Petter

Me, too. Dictionary.com sends me a word a day. Love language.

"What does that word mean?" my daughter asked. "Look it up," I replied. Then I relented and gave her a simple synonym.

"Why didn't you use the easy word instead?" Claire asked.

"Because I love the shade of meaning in the original word," I replied and laughed.

Claire rolled her eyes into the next state.

@LiterateHiker Tell her that words have subtly different meanings. I love being concise, rather than vague and therefore open to misinterpretation.
Even concise has a double requirement. It needs to be precise and also brief.

@LiterateHiker I've never bothered with "word of the day" websites. Sometimes, for fun, I read a dictionary, but most of the words I use I learned in my youth, from education and a voracious appetite for books.
I seldom read fiction, but I love fact and history, etc
Try looking up "pottle" and 'podher". It's a podher to fill a non-tamper pottle.

5

I always answer, "what would you like to know? Ask me anything. The worst thing I can do is tell you it's none if your business."

Granted, that may not be the most successful comeback considering I am still single.

3

Questions generally tell you more about someone than answers. If that's the best he can do, a clear signal to move on.

3

My answer is, "what do you want to know?" And then I don't hear back. Oh well.

5

As a compulsive oversharer, I'm more likely to get a frantic waving of hands followed by "TELL ME LESS! TELL ME LESS!"

Ha ha, same

1

yes ask them what hey would like to know because more than likely they will be at a loss of what to ask you and a good come back I will tell you when the time is right if we get that far

@RoyMillar

My favorite comeback is from George Carlin. "Hey, how are u today?" is the lamest message I get from too many guys.

"Not unwell, thank you," I reply. crickets

With a reply like that it does not lead into an answer to continue the conversation along those lines ,so he must change the subject

1

You ask me to write an autobiography? Keep walking. If they want to know more, spend some time.

5

I mean I guess that's better than what I often get, which is
"hey"
Wtf am I supposed to do with that?? At least put some effort into reading my profile and trying to connect with something I've written 🙄

Remi Level 7 Aug 18, 2019

I hate that and also “Hey, Cutie!”

6

Although I understand how the vagueness or openness of the question can make for a weak icebreaker, I either ask directly "Sure, what would you like to know?" or I assume they want to know what's important to me and I'll tell a bit about what I value in life. I figure it's just someone trying to connect and express interest, and not everyone is a great conversationalist. Hell, I can be a little awkward sometimes, so I try not to hold it against others who don't have the best or smoothest approach.

1

How would I answer?... let's talk and find out. If it leads to something then great, if it doesn't then we both know. It's a win either way.

2

"I always find that question offputting... Why don't you tell me something interesting about yourself and we can have a conversation?" (not really actually I stutter and say wierd sht but I think that would be a great answer)

I think it is a well intentioned but uncreative question. Just talk about stuff and let the details come out, or at least ask more specific questions..

MsAl Level 8 Aug 18, 2019
2

I think you’re over thinking it a bit. It’s just another way to say “I’m interested in you”. Ignore the question if you’re for some reason interested in them or ignore them altogether if not. It’s really not a good litmus test for judging someone’s personality.

6

It's a fast, easy, and lazy way of pretending to start a conversation without actually making any effort to personalize the approach. And, yes, it does place all the burden on the respondent so a sarcastic or disinterested reply is completely justified.

I recommend sarcasm, it's the most fun.

@Sgt_Spanky

Exactly. Well said.

2

Being somewhat familiar with your style of writing from this site, I can't imagine that you didn't already share a fair amount of description about yourself, so the suitor should have had a more specific question, if he was truly curious about something in particular.

It was likely just his "line" though not a very good one. Your reply was to the point. You're not interested in a relationship with someone outside your geographic range.

Assuming this exchange was through a dating site, I suppose he just wanted to start a conversation or flirt with you for online jollies, since meeting in real life would be unlikely.

There are some friend/dating apps that don't offer much space to describe oneself, so if someone were to ask for more information, it would be an opportunity to add more criteria and not waste anyone's time. But the question should be a bit more narrowly focused on what the person wants to know, leading the conversation in some direction.

@Julie808

Read my profile and look at my photos.

Men say I did a great job of describing myself and what I love to do with clarity, humor and fun.

@LiterateHiker that is what I was thinking. Did they not read my/your profile? If that is the case, they are too lazy for a serious answer or the time spent discussing anything.

1

What do you want to know? What people want to know can reveal quite a bit about their priorities, and of course you should not reveal more than you want to, and they should reciprocate by telling you more about themselves, if they don't, ditch them.
.
If you don't like correspondence over a distance, tell them so up front. I think that it is bad though to just write someone off based on distance, not because I think anything could come of it, most likely not, but because there is a huge benefit in getting to know people from other countries, I have over 4000 friends on my Facebook account from countries all over the world . . . and talk about getting some seriously original thoughts and views! Would not trade it for all the American friends in the world.

1

Women also say this. I ask, "for what purpose?" It is just a technique they use to keep the conversation going.

1

I’d enjoy an open ended opportunity to expand on myself.

Also, it’s not necessarily a prompt for a response. It is not a question. It is a statement.

4

Take it litterally! Send him what defines you! Haha.

3

A reply something like "First, let me make sure. Are you a law enforcement officer of any kind?"

1

I thought you and the flying physician were "an item".

@bigpawbullets

Nope. In addition to working full time as a medical doctor and taking call for other doctors, Bill is an obsessive, competitive bicycle rider. He rides 100-200 miles/week.

He also volunteers at a free clinic for low income people. Recently Bill took another job, flying search and rescue missions for the police.

"I have no spare time," Bill said. That's his choice.

@LiterateHiker Do not grieve for what might have been,his decision may one day come to haunt his choice.....

@Mike1947

I don't feel sad. All Bill wanted was sex, anyway.

3

with one word: "why?"

g

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