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How do you answer, "I want to know more about you"?

This message from men floors me. "What does he want to know?" I wonder. My personal history? The onus is on me to entertain him.

Yesterday I got that message from a man in Germany. "I suggest you focus on women in Germany," I replied.

Reminds me of my mother. "How are you really?" Mom repeatedly asked. Because I was born prematurely, Mom saw me as delicate, even as an adult.

"What do you want, my bowel movements?" I replied, amused, to sidestep the question.

LiterateHiker 9 Aug 18
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54 comments (26 - 50)

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2

I think you’re over thinking it a bit. It’s just another way to say “I’m interested in you”. Ignore the question if you’re for some reason interested in them or ignore them altogether if not. It’s really not a good litmus test for judging someone’s personality.

2

Hey i want know more about you!

@Williamcristiano

He lives in Germany. What's the point?

@LiterateHiker could be a friend! No harm in that

@GreatNani

Life is short. It's a waste of time.

@LiterateHiker hahaha i am kidding with you😂

@LiterateHiker That statement you just made to @GreatNani sounds like a riposte to Ashley Maddison's slogan! 😀😃

@Petter

Oooh, I love that you said "riposte." Good word choice. Talk to me, baby....

@LiterateHiker I love the vast vocabulary of English. On another thread here, I put forward the expression "Shog off", as used by Shakespeare.
Shog is to move with alacrity, so adding the off is, being polite, "begone".
I've used the expression since my late teens. It is an utterly innocuous, yet most concise way to convey one's feelings.

@LiterateHiker There are various people here with whom I would love a coffee date.

@Petter

Me, too. Dictionary.com sends me a word a day. Love language.

"What does that word mean?" my daughter asked. "Look it up," I replied. Then I relented and gave her a simple synonym.

"Why didn't you use the easy word instead?" Claire asked.

"Because I love the shade of meaning in the original word," I replied and laughed.

Claire rolled her eyes into the next state.

@LiterateHiker Tell her that words have subtly different meanings. I love being concise, rather than vague and therefore open to misinterpretation.
Even concise has a double requirement. It needs to be precise and also brief.

@LiterateHiker I've never bothered with "word of the day" websites. Sometimes, for fun, I read a dictionary, but most of the words I use I learned in my youth, from education and a voracious appetite for books.
I seldom read fiction, but I love fact and history, etc
Try looking up "pottle" and 'podher". It's a podher to fill a non-tamper pottle.

2

Lol guarded a bit? Its understandable to be so. Still it seems a fairly innocuous inquiry. Best case scenario, maybe he wants to be your friend..

@thinkwithme

Yesterday, the guy who asked lives in Germany. I blocked him when he wouldn't leave me alone.

@LiterateHiker I am Sorry to hear of Your Bad Experience... we us men should had learned by now how to take a hint and act correctly accordingly. You are a Catch... You are Attractive... a Beautiful Person... but You shouldn't be Harassed or Bothered by Any One and for No Reason.

@GipsyOfNewSpain

Thank you so much!

@LiterateHiker I wonder if it was the same German guy who messaged me.

1

With some general stuff nothing specific until I know you better

bobwjr Level 10 Aug 21, 2019
1

"I want to know more about you."
Why? So you can steal my identity?

Deb57 Level 8 Aug 21, 2019
1

We are born alone(unless twins or triplets) and will die alone,mostly. Finding a mate begins in Jr.High Schools when hormones begin affecting our bodies(or earlier,due to food additives and the UV from Fluorescent light fixtures). Girls are maturing at earlier ages each generation,it seems.

Loneliness can be tolerated,hobbies and volunteering will occupy the time,maybe some of us do not want a family?

1

If I’d known how empowering celibacy is I’d have at least a decade of my life back. What else would you like to know?

I’m guessing the noise you hear in reply will be a choir of crickets. Just sayn’

1

Must be from the same man that contacted me. He was a person of very few words but was ever so interested in me.

My experience with guys like that on dating apps is that they're scammers. It seems to be their modus operandi.

@nomorechristian Yes, I definitely think he was/is a scammer. Well he was certainly wasting his time with me.

1

That question sounds like job interview and very cold.

1

Lol good answer

Neenz Level 7 Aug 19, 2019
1

"Why would that be?"

1

Just tell them to check wikipedia, and if they ask you what your full name is to look it up, tell them, that it's also on wikipedia.

1

might be wanting to know about your likes and dislikes . How smart you are.

1

This post is both curious and enlightening. In my early days of online dating i may have asked the same question. But what would happen if it was in person and not online? Say you met someone through a family member or mutual aquaintance. You don't know much about each other, but for whatever reason you find him attractive and somewhat interesting. So you agree to a date and the first thing he says is "i want to know more about you. Tell me about yourself". Would it still be off putting?

@Tucsongirl1 i have been asked the same type of question by women many timee and i just look at it as a light conversation starter. I never thought of it that way though. Guess it is a broad question! And with all the perils of online dating i can see why a more specific question would be preferred

@Tucsongirl1 I have done a lot of online dating and I have heard that question from woman many times before. I also just think it is a conversation starter and I start rattling on about where I live, my job, my pets, my hobbies, etc.. It often leads to a nice conversation about things we have in common and we both learn more about each other. I guess I have had a lot of practice and am ready with some responses.

1

I hate to seem contrarian, but I often say "please tell me more about yourself" to women on dating sites who have provided NO narrative. I provide a detailed narrative in each of my profiles, but many women provide only a photo, city, age, height; bare statistics.

One might ask: why contact a woman who provides such scant info? My answer is: why not? She isn't going to contact us - women don't do that (at least with me). And it's certainly her choice to provide that skeletal profile - if she only wants certain guys to contact her, the profile is the place to do that.

So, right or wrong, I often say "please tell me about yourself". It has to come before any meaningful chat can occur.

If I'm out of bounds with this behavior please tell me and I won't do it anymore.

@BitFlipper

I don't understand why many men don't read my profile. They just look at the photos.

I think in such cases, you’re fine with asking “tell me more about yourself.” It’s a pet peeve when folks don’t bother filling out their profile. I mean, it’s a dating site for F’s sake ... how am I supposed to learn about you? Lol.

My experience has been that a lot of men who write a minimal amount in their profile are actually scammers. 😟 So personally, what I do is to just pass on profiles like that. It saves a lot of time and aggravation.

1

Sure, what would you like to know. I'm not hiding anything.

1

It's quite possible he was intrigued by your bio & posts, and was being genuine in his attempt to find out more about you. I don't see anything wrong with asking that question, maybe you should change your bio to read "not interested in conversation".

@HughJassell

I love conversation and laughter! Idiotic messages I often get from guys:

  1. How are u today?

  2. I want to know more about you.

Instead show you read my profile.

@LiterateHiker Exactly!!! So many men are so lazy on dating apps!

1

If you truly want to know more start with the accurate composer of your questions and if you don't do that we are done.

You must have meant "composition"

1

well, do something interesting in your life and show it off when you go out with people. that way you're already doing something and you have someone to brag at about it. hell, if they gave me a chance I could go on for hours and hours about some really interesting shit (at least to me) that I've been studying and reading and writing the last 10-12 years. don't look at it as a downer. geez. look at it as an opportunity to talk up the one thing you probably know better than anyone else in the world. take that mic and spotlight and belt it out.

1

Lol I just had the same message. Interesting.

1

I would just say, "Google it".

1

I thought you and the flying physician were "an item".

@bigpawbullets

Nope. In addition to working full time as a medical doctor and taking call for other doctors, Bill is an obsessive, competitive bicycle rider. He rides 100-200 miles/week.

He also volunteers at a free clinic for low income people. Recently Bill took another job, flying search and rescue missions for the police.

"I have no spare time," Bill said. That's his choice.

@LiterateHiker Do not grieve for what might have been,his decision may one day come to haunt his choice.....

@Mike1947

I don't feel sad. All Bill wanted was sex, anyway.

1

I’d enjoy an open ended opportunity to expand on myself.

Also, it’s not necessarily a prompt for a response. It is not a question. It is a statement.

1

Women also say this. I ask, "for what purpose?" It is just a technique they use to keep the conversation going.

1

What do you want to know? What people want to know can reveal quite a bit about their priorities, and of course you should not reveal more than you want to, and they should reciprocate by telling you more about themselves, if they don't, ditch them.
.
If you don't like correspondence over a distance, tell them so up front. I think that it is bad though to just write someone off based on distance, not because I think anything could come of it, most likely not, but because there is a huge benefit in getting to know people from other countries, I have over 4000 friends on my Facebook account from countries all over the world . . . and talk about getting some seriously original thoughts and views! Would not trade it for all the American friends in the world.

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