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Men and relationships.

Are men truly interested in getting to know a woman he is interested in? Her views, values, and interests? Or does he only want to know what's in it for him? Am I the only woman who wonders this?

Wildflower 8 Mar 20
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1

From a man's perspective- The answer to your question would depend upon the man, some men do genuinely care while others are lowlife cads who only seek physical pleasure in life and certainly couldn't care less about how women think and feel and believe. The trick is how to determine a decent man who is a seeker from one who is a scuzbag. Pay close attention to small details, like if he pays attention to you when you speak or how often he compliments you. I can also say this much...avoid any guy who identifies as a nice guy, for they have a way of acting opposite of what they claim. I hope that answered your query somewhat.

@SpikeTalon
Great answer. So many men on dating sites pump themselves up to be almost super human. I avoid them. I appreciate your advice.

@Wildflower Glad I could help.

3

Since I am not attracted to stupid and would never even consider dating any one but, an intelligent woman, I would have to say no.
I am sure there are shallow men out there just as there are shallow women out there as well.

Vast quantities of shallow women...

2

No you are certainly not the only woman to think this. I think it depends on the man, same goes for the woman. They will show you, if you’re really watching, listening and paying attention to what they’re really seeking by the way in which they ask, and respond to, direct questions.

2

I believe there are two types of men who like women - those who like women as potential sexual partners, and those who like women. The first type are more common and may find themselves liking individual women (or in some cases don't really like women at all, to various extents). The second type actively seek out friendships with women, as well as romantic/sexual relationships, and want to really know those women.

Jnei Level 8 Mar 20, 2018

The second type seems to be rare. But I have found that even those looking for friendship/relationship are self-centered and only interested in getting their own needs met. I must be looking in all the wrong places.

@Wildflower The wonderful bell hooks (if you're not aware of her, she doesn't use capitals in her pen name) has a lot to say about this in All About Love. She argues that society conditions men to mistrust love and focus on personal gratification and their own sexual performance, whereas women are conditioned to want love and do whatever they can to find a partner. Therefore, she argues, until society changes, the majority of relationships are one-sided and it's almost impossible for women to ever find true happiness.

3

Some are, some aren't. Your question could be posed for either sex.

Ah, but you're deflecting with that statement. Yes, I know this could apply to women also. But I'm asking in particular about men.

Actually, I answered with my original comment - some are, some aren't. I only added onto your question by stating that it could also be posted for for and about women as well. I say this because I've dealt with it myself (the what's-in-it-for-her thing). I'll answer it this way; anyone worth keeping in one's life would most certainly be interested in everything about the other person. Good way to build a solid relationship, I think.

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