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If your pet were human for a day, what would they be like?

Mine would be a food conoisseur stuffing his face and giving me reviews. Telling me what I should and shouldn't be feeding him.

He'd also be a talker. Yappy little thing.

silvereyes 8 Mar 21
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51 comments

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5

I haven't got a clue but probably really fucking freaked out.

2

So, am I to infer that he would have a lot in common with you?.....LOL

6

A lazy, inconsiderate, illiterate asshole with bad personal hygine 🙂

LOL!

6

My cat Percy would just be a violent asshole. My cat Nyxon would be a nature loving sports freak. My dog Koda would be a clingy drag queen and my dog Anya would be a tomboy football player

That's excellent!

Why would Koda be a drag queen? XD

@Neraven hes....well....he's a drag queen

5

I would have to hide they would be sexing me up. LOL

LMAO!

4

I would repeatly hear "who's the good dog?", I think I need a treat then, and let's go smell some stuff".

jeffy Level 7 Mar 21, 2018
6

A totally cool aurfer dude!!

@SouthernSerena -- What the hell is an "aurfer dude?"

@evidentialist, surfer dude? A and S are next to each other on the keyboard.

@TaraMarshall -- I knew that.

1

Emily is a princess cheerleader prom queen Valley Girl. She'd drive me nuts.
Ashley is the real-life Madea, but older and using her walker to beat people over the head.
Mischa is a tin-pot dictator, maybe a reincarnation of Pol Pot or one of the dead Korean dictators.
Hathir is a chronic paranoid. He'd spend the day hiding in the closet instead of under the bed.
Aisling would also be hiding, because she's part feral. I suspect she'd act like one of my more unfriendly Autistic clients.

Of my deceased cats, Peeshee would spend all day snuggling in bed. So would Nimitz, but with a joint with the Dead playing. And Kindrie would go out hunting and bring home venison instead of pigeon.

1

Exactly like me ..a bit of a dick but tends to be chilled

4

For me, my dog is just another member of the family. It's hard to imagine him as human, when I already see him as a part of my family. If I had to guess though, I suspect he would be a lot like me as his personality surprisingly enough emulates my personality. He's already easy for me to talk with. So I imagine that wouldn't change. Outside of that, I believe he would be as friendly as he is already, but quiet and reserved depending on the circumstances.

1

Got a cat, Iplay pretty rough with her from time to time, Ithink if she turned human she would want to rough me up a lil bit she tries as a cat but im too fast for her to actually hurt me she loves it though all Igotta do is snap my fingers and she comes running for som beating( fun) Idont hurt her but push her a lil

Have you ever actually been to school? You write like a third grader.

@SkotlandSkye i don't care what you think of how i write as i have said punctuation and grammar is not important it is the msg that is the only thing gramnar and punctuation do is emphesize certain aspects if one absolutely needs those aspects emphesized they have issues words generally speak for themselves if one can't understand what time is it without a question mark thats just plain i write like i talk i don't say comma or period or question mark while im talking why should i when im writing its dumb as i say for non important things such as this but i am intelligent i did go to school and learned everything i needed to i CHOOSE not to use those emphesizers when not absolutely necessary again such as here fb yt gmail unless to something important on gmail don't judge ppl because of the way they write its so fucking small

@dml420 learn to make paragraphs. No one can read your bullshit. Although that’s probably a good thing.

@SkotlandSkye if ya can't read go back school

@dml420 I don’t waste time reading shit.

1

Well, for one they would be insanely clumsy as they only know how to move as either a dog or cat would. They'd likely have a Hell of a lot of trouble just getting around. Also, only knowing what the dog knows, while now it has the cognitive capacity to learn like a human, it still would start the day with the knowledge of only a dog. And a day wouldn't be enough to learn human language, maybe a couple of words but for the most part communication would be almost exactly like that of communicating with a dog. After a while of likely hurting themselves just trying to learn how to move in an adult human form, they would probably start reaching for things they couldn't before, and that's if they learn how to use their hands instead of their mouths to grab things, another aspect few species really use on this planet. That day would likely be unpleasant for both the dog and the human trying to help the dog the whole time bring unable to communicate properly and the fact of how easy it is to hurt themselves would make it a full time job the whole day until they revert back to their original form.

Really, turning your pet human for a day wouldn't be as fun as it sounds unfortunately. A more permanent change would work better in the long run as over time they would learn everything there is to being a human aside from childhood experiences and one day they could tell you what it was like to be a dog which would be pretty cool.

3

They'd both probably sleep for a lot of the day, getting up occasionally to pester me to feed them.

Come to think of it... this is exactly the same as my teenage sons

miffy Level 5 Mar 21, 2018
10

Satan, my cat would be Satan

?

4

He would be laid back, always available with a pun, and calling me out for having him fixed.

2

Well he sleeps on his back so no Change there. He would have long fabulous black hair, watch animal planet all day (it's his treat now. Yes he watches TV. ) He would lay in his pool or in the tub when he's warm instead of making a puddle in the kitchen and laying with his face in the bowl...

5

My black cat, Elvira, would be a self-centered, middle-aged woman looking for a man to take care of her and cater to her every need.

Tiger-tiger would be a big brawny, young bully with a soft spot for his older girlfriend (Elvira) and his stepfather.

5

I love this post! My cat Moises would have a monocle and thin mustache and would ride a stage coach but would be a mid night underground boxer. His brother Mian would be a fat Chinese dumpling chef who is always yelling and holding a cleaver hahaha

rad!

3

Hmmm. Louie the standard poodle would be Dick Van Dyke. Friendly, goofy, and kind hearted. My two rescue dogs are another story and would be hard to match to people !

Ohub Level 7 Mar 21, 2018
0

Mine would be just like me, but on steroids.

0

My betta Rusty would be a scrawny, ugly, little punk of a kid. One that could just eat and eat without gaining any weight, that talks smack, and probably listens to wrap. (He's a recent rescue from a pet store that looked about half dead when I first got him but boy is he fiesty now that he has an actual aquarium to swim around in, instead of a little bowl. He's also incredibly ugly, but I like him).

Mea Level 7 Mar 21, 2018
0

Fujita The Cat would almost certainly be the smartest person in the room, but would calmly, patiently, listen to whatever anyone else had to say about the topic of the moment, even if what they were saying about it was completely off-base. He would be quite mellow most of the time, but if something should happen to excite him he would instantly become a ball of energy, talking a mile a minute -- even if he was by himself.

For mealtime, Fujita would almost certainly be the first to the table. If the meal was something that was pleasing to his palate, such as fish (ANY fish!) he'd dive right in and chow down, never thinking about waiting for others or any other table manners for that matter. However, if it was something he wasn't accustomed to eating he would pretty much ignore it, sit there bored, and maybe even get up and walk away from the table. (In his non-human life he is quite finicky -- he does not eat people food nor does he eat cat treats. He just turns his nose up at such things -- unless it's the human food known as "fish." )

He would be an avid bird watcher, and would be able to tell you everything there is to know about any kind of bird. He would also likely be an entomologist, with a wealth of knowledge regarding moths. Bugs and birds would be his forte, and he would even sacrifice a nap to study them.

Timidity would be the order of the day. A knock on the door would send him into solitude, as would sudden loud noises, large trucks, or strangers on the property visible through a window. Eventually, though, his natural curiousity would get the best of him and he would emerge from his solitude to investigate. If his investigation revealed a visitor, he would feel compelled to talk to them.

I think as a human Fujita would be a relatively decent person, although rather odd. He'd be somewhat like a socially awkward genius, I think. I mean, really. Just look at him!!

Thank you, @silvereyes. He is named after Dr. Ted Fujita, the tornado scientist who developed the F0-F5 scale for tornado strength. If that scale was applied to felines, Fujita The Cat would be an F5!

3

A relatively even blending of Wolverine, Cthulhu, and Jim Jefferies.

crikey 😀

1

Mine would be a self-absorbed princess believing without a doubt that she deserves everything.

4

Much as they are now I suspect. Lovable fools in search of their next meal.

I have a 2nd kitty who is already a hate filled homunculus in a cat suit. But she doesn't stay still long enough to photograph or trap.

@TrailRider I think your black and white cat looks a lot like my Jewish uncle, Sal.

@paul1967 hoooot!

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