The trouble is many parents have observed misparenting. Child abuse & neglect flows down through the generations, being passed on from parent to child. Hurt people hurt people

I refused to attend my father's & mother's funerals. Hate follows people into the grave

@Remiforce I went to her funeral because I had to drive other people. But I sat alone, in the back. And I've certainly never been back. There's a kind of ''victory'' in that, isn't there?

"My god, what will the neighbors think"

Good for you

Only half alive. You never forget

Good for you

I understand. Have you ever attended ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholic & Abusive Parents) or the ACA groups associated with Al Anon?

Physical and verbal. No alcohol or mental illness.
After both parents died, I learned my ancestors were serfs in feudal Germany and taught if they were talking they were not working or were plotting an uprising. Denied speech, they had only violence to control children. To avoid repetition, I resolved to have none and married a woman who for similar reasons wanted none. In six years we parted but kept in touch. After ‘street therapy’ (hardball politcs) and talk therapy I found Adult Survivors of Child Abuse. It all helped and I am happy.
Four sibs fared less well. Providing for children precluded therapy and they remain silent.

@Remiforce No, and have not heard of them before. I’ll google it.

@Annaleda Please do. I've also found CODA (Co-Dependents Anonymous) quite helpful. The problem is many of these groups use the 12 Steps of A.A, ,which gets quite goddy, but there are anonymous groups growing up based on Smart Recovery (Smart Recovery.org)

@Annaleda, @yvilletom I'm glad you found help. Child abuse goes from generation to generation. Many victims of abuse choose to remain childless