Being there for friends and family, trying to leave the world a better place than I found it, pondering the mysteries of the Universe.

I read recently that you are not your trauma or past and imagine a life without identifying with that! I haven’t been able to put that into words for awhile yet it was a feeling...my urge to have complete autonomy of my life and bring the best to everyone and myself. To clarify not a controlling autonomy more so freedom!

What helps me keep going is a sense of the value of Life and the universe. I know that if I were to take my own life, I would lose everything. Life and living, even if it very painful at times, is valuable in and of itself.

Another thingsthat keeps me going is the people in my life who have helped me and given me support over the years. I would be much worse orf without them, and perhaps not even here now if not for them.

As I get older (BE QUIET, PLEASE!) I see how important public service is. I volunteer at three organizations...all very worthy.....and it keeps me going every day. It's also fun and I highly recommend it!

For me, the number one factor is curiosity. I am old enough to be getting tired of having new experiences that aren't usually all that new anyway. Been there, done that, got the tee shirt, and in most cases, wasn't that impressed anyway. But ... but ... I'm curious how this and that is going to sort out. Trumpism, the colonization of space, the quest for biological immortality and for true general purpose AI. It all interests me. Particularly if I can be more of an observer and not personally besieged by any of it.

The number two factor is that I have promises to keep. I have a wife, a child, two step children, four grand children, colleagues, friends. I have roles to play in all their lives, even as I let some of these relationships organically drift away. I also am nearly the sole carrier of the memory of my prior wife, and my son, who both left life prematurely; and to a lesser extent, of my oldest brother and my mother, who likewise were interrupted in the normal course of life. I both want to join them in oblivion, and want to testify longer that I bore witness to their existence. If that makes any sense.

A very distant third is just the primal will to self-preservation. If all the people mentioned above were gone from my life, if the world were descending into dystopian chaos and "nature, red in tooth and claw" were all there was to contemplate, I would still hesitate to end my own life. Meagre though it may be, it's the only one I'll ever have. I would hesitate less than most, I'd wager -- but hesitate I would.

Family, the ability to observe what's happening in the world and having an intelligent opinion and my journal that I look forward to making an entry into while having coffee each morning. I promote waking with a smile to start the day off right. Try it!

Coffee.
That and suicide are the only truly valid choices.

I want to know what happens next.
Where is humanity going? Are we evolving? Ascending? Racing towards extinction? Is there a diaspora in our future? Or do we make way for the next species to evolve intelligence here on Earth?

Music and then more music it's my life and job!

I enjoy life. Ah hell, okay, coffee.

There is so much to do and to learn. My daughter, my family, my dogs and my friends all help to make living worthwhile for me.

Her Royal Cuteness, small humans, amazing friends. and boatloads of caffeine.

What keeps me going is the hope and just plain curiousity. Am I going to wake up someday to learn I can be cured and never in pain again? Could it happen tomorrow? Am I going to fall in love with someone? I'm so curious.

Just about anything and everything. No, I'm not kidding. Life is a rush.

I still ike to have a bit of fun, some enjoyment. I like my animals, gardens, fish, love living things around me. Have fun with the youngsters hat are always here. Occassionally, sadly more like rarely I like to have a few days away R&R with a friend, just for a break from the routine.

Curiosity. Having a more open heart. Being kind to others and myself. Trying to be a good dad. Holding myself accountable. A good whiskey (or two).

Sheer stubbornness.

I look into my mirror and thats my motivation. Where I come from and where I have been and what I have experienced has been because of that reflection. My motivation.

My kids. My dreams of being a filmmaker and my hopes that I won't have to be alone for the rest of my life. It can be a struggle sometimes. Being divorced and not getting to see my boys every day is a tough pill to swallow most days. But when I see how happy they are to see me and be with me and how smart and caring they are, it makes waking up in the morning worth it. Breathing is a lot easier when you know there's someone out there that truly loves you, and those boys love unconditionally. That is the power of having children of your own. No one will ever love you more than your own children. And I see it in my boys when we're together. The way they look up to me and always want to play with me and hug me when they see me. You can't get that from an adult you share no blood with. And it's because of that love that I'm still here.

Following my bliss and doing the things I love to do..bird photography, hiking, writing, designing and sewing clothes, swimming, riding motorbikes, training horses, playing music, doing art, making new inventions, teaching adorable Thai kids, etc.

And my daughter, of course. I have a son but he's off doing his thing, and I seldom hear from him.

My art, my dogs and fish.

Music and my life-long search for the perfect donut.

Helping others and hopes of a bright future,

I often ask myself that same question. Unfortunately, I haven't come up with a good answer.

Love for my children is what give me joy. It gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment that I need.

Coffee& memes