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Can a guy have a female best friend and sex never enter the frame?

#sex
Gozer 4 Mar 27
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73 comments

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4

Yes, my best friend in high school was male. He and I never had sex, and I honestly never thought of him in that way. He and I married different people within two months of one another, and drifted apart, because his wife did not like the fact that I am female. We see each other occasionally, and it is very awkward.

That is a loss...it is such a shame that some people think relationships are based on sexual attraction!

It was very hard at first. He wasn't even allowed to come to my wedding, which really hurt. I didn't see him for years until his sister invited us to her wedding. It was awkward and after I had gotten there I had wished I hadn't come. It really was like losing family.

2

If there's a man who can do it, I haven't met him. Some can't even work with women without trying to make it sexual.

Men are predators . Even when married they need the occasional affair ....that's why I am single now .. no more deceit .. it's sad to be alone, but I rather live with myself without the heartaches and the emotional slap in the face.

@gemini31 😟 I think I'm going to adopt this as my new personal rule-- stay alone.

4

As long as no one physically attracted to one another. Friendliness will be miss interpreted as flirting.

So true!! especially for woman.. but I am friendly and if the guy misinterprets it as flirting.. that is his problem!

Well side

1

Well, friendship is one thing, being a best friend is something else. I have several female friends without the benefit of sex. I don't consider any of them my best friend. YMMV

Why do you think that SEX is a benefit ? As a woman I would be offended if a man would consider my submission and love a BENEFIT!

Give me the benefit of the doubt here. My wording wasn't clear. A better way to say it "without the presence of sex" is what I meant, though I understand your inference. And I agree with your point. Apologies for any offense.

0

I have a female friend for over 20 years now. We only snogged once and that was because she had just been dumped for her best friend. I thought she needed an uplift in her self esteem. So I did it as a friend.

I rest my case!

@SukiSue I only kissed her because a, Like I said she needed that validation of her sexualty at that time and b, I knew that would go no further. We are friends pure and simple.
She is not my only female friend. In fact I have more women friends than men. Okay one of them is gay (she is always bringing up sex). but the rest seem quite happy with just a friendship. Yes the odd innuendo may creep in but thats in the nature of good humored banter, as I othen do with my gay male friends.

5

I have one but guys have a very low criteria for sex. We COULD bang! However it's not nessesary.

LOL

6

Absolutely. One of my best guy friends and I went to bed together nude while we were both single to see what would happen. We both got a good night's sleep, and still had no interest in each other in the morning. Zero chemistry, just good friends.

0

Not if she's attractive. Plenty of asexual, demisexual or androgyne men could do it, but for most normal cis, hetero males, his predator reaction triggers, and he'll spend his time trying to make her laugh, or impress her.

There are male predators who are despicable, but IMO it is unfair to characterize most hetero males as predators. Many people have siblings of the opposite sex, who get along without a sexual relationship. Furthermore, everyone has a parent of the opposite sex, and most people love and respect their parents.

On the other hand, I hear your message, which seem to me to be related to raging harmonies that are difficult to control. A man with low self esteem may take rejection much too personally. These things, harmonies, low esteem, and rejection, are a very bad combination, explosive. It happened to me once a long time ago, I am sorry to say. To this day, it upsets me to think of it. It caused an epiphany, and will not happen again.

2

Though one. I think it's possible, I've often have female friends who are married so there's that default boundary.

ravi Level 2 Mar 28, 2018

Sounds fun .. wish I had one ...

0

Actually, One of my Very Best Friends in a woman and Sex is not part of the equation.

1

Other than co workers and yes a few of them too, every time I become friends with a man he wants to bone me, so no.

5

Of course.

5
8

Yes, I have had a close female friend for 46 years, we are of a similar age, met on holidays each year from when I was 12, lost contact at 16, but we ended up working together when I was about 22 and have stayed very close friends. She and her husband visit me each year, we have both been married divorced and had numerous partners, but we have never been anything but friends. She is very attractive, but we are just friends. My kids call her Aunty, they have all their lives, yet they don't call my brother and his wife Uncle and Aunty.

4

From personal experience, I once had a female best friend for about 5 yrs and we didn't have sex, but we did a couple times before we became good friends. Somehow our "breakup" was cordial and mutual and it never occurred to us (as far as I know... at least it never occurred to me) to be physical again. We did eventually drift apart after both getting married to others and having kids. We're still friendly, but not best friends.

6

I have several really good female friends where sex isn’t on the table. It just isn’t an issue. I’m good at boundaries, lol.

5

Yes. I had a great friend in high school & into my 20s with a great guy. We are still friends. We told people we were cousins. We had good times together & with other friends.

5

Yes. At different times in my life l have had a close female friend without sex coming into play.

8

Well I can only speak from the female side but I've got tons of male friends I have zero sexual desire with, but then I'm sorta asexual

9

Yes. Absolutely. I met a girl maybe 15 years ago at work who I really hit it off with. Not at all romantically, but we were inseparable for years. We used to go out bar hopping almost every night. We would often travel a hundred miles just to see a good band. She dated people. I dated people. We would hang out & talk about everything imaginable until all hours of the night. Eventually she ended up meeting the love of her life & actually settled down & got married. I still always tease her about how she's been domesticated. If only he knew the things I know about her past. 2 years ago, when I was getting ready to move away, I ended up hiring her hubby to take over my old job. He's still there & thriving. I still keep up with them both regularly. In all that time, we never even so much as kissed. It's always been completely platonic. We wouldn't have it any other way.

8

Yes. The two best working relationships I have ever had (so far) was with two different women. In both cases we were like a hive mind - we even finished each others sentences. Needless to say, rumour was rife around the office that we were having affairs. Nothing further from the truth. We're still great mates, and one of them has a devoted boyfriend and the other is happily married with two kids. Frankly, sex would have ruined everything.

6

I have one but I don't fancy her or vice verse

5

Isn't that like asking "can cats and dogs get along without mating". The answer is obvious. Oy vey.

7

Of course that's possible. It can work both ways.

7

Well, I sure hope so! Because, it helps in all kinds of ways in our life to have opposite sex, best friends! One human being cannot give to us all the things that nurtures and supports us. It makes life so much fuller to have all kinds of friends!

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