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Can a guy have a female best friend and sex never enter the frame?

#sex
Gozer 4 Mar 27
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73 comments (26 - 50)

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4

From personal experience, I once had a female best friend for about 5 yrs and we didn't have sex, but we did a couple times before we became good friends. Somehow our "breakup" was cordial and mutual and it never occurred to us (as far as I know... at least it never occurred to me) to be physical again. We did eventually drift apart after both getting married to others and having kids. We're still friendly, but not best friends.

3

Some of the best friends I have had have been male..My best friend now is a younger neighbor . We talked about friendship vs intimate relationships in the beginning of our friendship. I told him I had rather have him as a friend forever than a boyfriend for a while. We have the best times and he has his girlfriend..(who hates me..lol) It works for us and has for many years. But I had a close male friend for many years when I was young.. then one time he leaned over in the car while we were talking and I said..what are you going.. He was gong to kiss me.. It really did ruin our friendship.. I think it is hard for men to not think about sex with most woman..but if you can have a true friendship with a woman. You are special. That is my opinion!

3

The closest friends I've ever had were male. I had to think about that for a minute. And we had so much fun together and sex never entered into it. In fact, my girlfriends would complain about how so and so had sex with them and then never called them or whatever...while I was running all around with said boy...lol
After reading everyone's posts...it occurs to me I know many men who can't even be bothered trying a "friendship" unless the woman is attractive which to my mind means "suitable for sex". I've been dismissed like that so I know how it feels....

3

Depends entirely on the guy. Some can. Many can't.

I have a tendency to grow crushes on most people I get really close to, regardless of their sex.

3

Most definitely!!!

3

Not if she's attractive. Plenty of asexual, demisexual or androgyne men could do it, but for most normal cis, hetero males, his predator reaction triggers, and he'll spend his time trying to make her laugh, or impress her.

There are male predators who are despicable, but IMO it is unfair to characterize most hetero males as predators. Many people have siblings of the opposite sex, who get along without a sexual relationship. Furthermore, everyone has a parent of the opposite sex, and most people love and respect their parents.

On the other hand, I hear your message, which seem to me to be related to raging harmonies that are difficult to control. A man with low self esteem may take rejection much too personally. These things, harmonies, low esteem, and rejection, are a very bad combination, explosive. It happened to me once a long time ago, I am sorry to say. To this day, it upsets me to think of it. It caused an epiphany, and will not happen again.

3

You betcha. 🙂

Betty Level 8 Mar 28, 2018
2

All you young folks on here are forgetting E.D. When you got it and Viagra don't help, it's pretty easy to maintain a "no sex" friendship.

2

Offcourse I have female friends but there is no existence of sexual relations among us.

FAIZ Level 5 Mar 28, 2018
2

Though one. I think it's possible, I've often have female friends who are married so there's that default boundary.

ravi Level 2 Mar 28, 2018

Sounds fun .. wish I had one ...

2

If there's a man who can do it, I haven't met him. Some can't even work with women without trying to make it sexual.

Men are predators . Even when married they need the occasional affair ....that's why I am single now .. no more deceit .. it's sad to be alone, but I rather live with myself without the heartaches and the emotional slap in the face.

@gemini31 😟 I think I'm going to adopt this as my new personal rule-- stay alone.

1

Of course he can! But in my experience, it is a colossal effort by the female to keep the sex out of it. You can only insinuate "Not going to happen" so much. Over time it gets tiring. I eventually jump ship.

1

Other than co workers and yes a few of them too, every time I become friends with a man he wants to bone me, so no.

1

Totally! The best “man” at my wedding was my current best friend. I love her dearly and she is absolutely gorgeous, but we’re both not attracted to each other sexually.

1

It’s possible of course but I’m more of a When Harry Met Sally believer. It’s a trite movie but I do agree with the message about male/female friendships.

1

I have one right now! And I have had them in the past.

After the first 15 years I had a wife that fell into that category for 20 more years! I miss her!

1

Absolutely. I have.

1

Absolutely yes.

1

Been a life-long guy with girl friends. Working with groups of women, musicians, dancers, businesses,... Gay and straight.

Got a great woman friend I met 20+ years ago. we have lunch about every two to three weeks. We talk about everything.

And, since I am a man, without control of the genetic think-of-sex every 5 minutes command, I am amazed that just recently I realized I have never thought about her breasts.

Both me and my wife have always had friends of both sexes.

1

Yes, absolutely.

SamL Level 7 Mar 28, 2018
1

I have several long term platonic relationships with women. One of them had a spark of mutual attraction that quickly faded.

1

Never say never. I learned that from my own experience with having close female friends.

1

Yes. Of course.

1

A woman friend of mine started out as a physical relationship. We both quickly realized it was too soon and too much and we backed off. Now we have a great friendship after over 20 years. For me sex is special and I reserve it for just one appropriate person and it doesn't enter my mind with other women.

1

i have always had close male friends. 4 of them I did not sleep with. One or two that I did.

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