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"My Last Drink was Ten Years Ago" by John DeVore. Your thoughts?

"A few thoughts on a decade of sobriety," he wrote. An insightful, honest, wise and searing article. Wow. As an adult child of an alcoholic, I found John DeVore's insights helpful:

"I’m going to celebrate a decade of sobriety by eating a vanilla sheet cake. I could decide to toss back a couple of gin and tonics if I wanted. It’s a free country. I hope I don’t. But that’s the deal. It doesn’t matter how bad or good it gets, I can always choose oblivion. I can open the airlock and get sucked into space and just float, forever, in darkness. I mean, alcohol can be pretty magical that way."

"Here’s what 10 years of sobriety has taught me," he continued. "Sometimes saying “I’m sorry” isn’t enough. Your pain isn’t as profound as you think it is and that’s a good one to know. Drinking doesn’t make you interesting. You were angry before the booze and you’ll be angry after you stop. Sobriety taught me love is giving it all and expecting nothing in return. There you go. Free wisdom."

"Sometimes when I’m asked how I did it by someone who is clearly struggling I tell them some people drink too much and should drink less. I tell them that sobriety is the best thing that ever happened to me but I get it. Life is hard and alcohol is cheap plentiful palliative care. I tell them there is hope, though. You don’t have to be a smelly emotional maniac if you don’t want."

[medium.com]


Personally, I don't like alcohol because it dehydrates me and gives me a headache. It's not worth it. Just a half a glass of wine- with lots of water- makes me feel tired and headachy the next day.

Luckily, my body skipped the alcoholic gene from both sides of my family.

At age 19, I got drunk for the first time. Michigan had lowered the drinking age to 18. Naturally, college students threw drinking parties on every dorm floor.

Naively unfamiliar with drinking alcohol, I let students press me into downing 2-3 glasses of sweet red wine. The room was spinning. Collapsed on my dorm room bed after locking the door (at least part of my brain was working).

The funny part

The next day, University of Michigan dorms only served one meal at noon on Sundays. Apparently they believed parents would magically appear and take us out to dinner.

Painfully hungover, I dragged myself downstairs for the noon meal. Bright lights hurt my eyes. Nauseated with a pounding headache, I stood in line and got my food tray.

Sitting down, I gazed at the mashed potatoes. They looked tantalizingly like a pillow. Laid my cheek in the mashed potatoes and fell asleep. Awoke to a circle of students laughing and pointing at me.

The humiliation and hangover convinced me to never get drunk again. Stuck to it.

LiterateHiker 9 May 20
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26 comments

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7

I come from a long line of alcoholics, My drinking has increased since my Mother passed, I do not know why. I never have more than one drink a night, and do not like to get dizzy and sick. One drink relaxes me, I do not do this every night and go weeks without one. I could be an alcoholic easily as I like the taste, but I do not want to go their.

6

I drink socially. I got drunk many times, got nasty hangovers, of course. I don't drink as much as I used to. Many people don't have the concept of something called "moderation". I do love a good beer, a good red wine with a good meal or a good whiskey. These days I prefer to drink less but better quality, makes the experience better.

6

I am also the adult child of an alcoholic.
I have been a careful social drinker my whole life and feel I have escaped that plague. I have sadly helplessly watched friends sink inyo that abyss. Saddest of all both my children married alcoholics. One is recovering snd the other one is divorced.

I think there is a genetic component to the disease and I was just lucky not to have it or I would not be such a successful careful drinker.

6

I enjoy a good drink now and again. Seldom do I get truly drunk as I like to get drunk, but not be drunk. Over the years I have learnt the fine difference.

5

18 years for me. got bored with it i reckon.

5

I’m not a fan of alcohol so much. I find it dulls the better part of my intellect. While that can be fun at times I rarely drink these days especially with the Rona situation.

I’ve never viewed sobriety as any kind of virtue. I’ve sampled a variety of chemicals in my days and have found that they are mostly beneficial to me. Your mileage may vary.

5

Alcohol was never that magical to me. In fact, if I have too much I get ill, so it's been a built-in barometer.

I feel badly that he's had to resist something that he sees as so appealing, yet is so treacherous. I can't imagine how rough that would be.

4

I very very rarely drink alcohol. I’ve never gotten drunk. I have never smoked and have never done any kind of drugs (even though pot is legal here). I don’t like being around people who are drunk or under the influence of substances. They always say the stupidest things and I really don’t want to hear any of that. I get my high from reading a great book, performing dance on stage, travelling to amazing places.

Plus, I’m severely allergic to tonic water. I’m always paranoid of mixed drinks in case there is tonic water in it. I was accidentally served tonic water at a high end restaurant when I ordered ginger ale, and the waiter kept arguing with me when I told him that wasn’t ginger ale. Luckily I only drank a small amount and insisted they check again. I never had tonic water before then and didn’t even know my reaction to it. I had a severe reaction and the hospital advised to bring me in to emergency if got worse.

4

I've hardly ever drunk to excess. I quit drinking alcohol a couple of years ago and have hardly missed it. I have ex friends who are alcoholics. I quit drinking because I take a number of meds that don't react well with alcohol so I decided I never needed to drink at all. Now I just vape cannabis oil.

4

My last alcohol was 12th February 2003.

Since the late 1990s I had been suffering from an increasing intollerance to alcohol. By about 2001 it had reached a point where a single glass of wine would leave me with a savage headache, stomach cramps and intense nausea within 15 minutes - so I gave up alcohol.

Then, a couple of years later, it was my niece's 21st birthday (the date above) - and being a complete MORON I thought 'surely toasting her birthday with just one glass of Champagne would be OK!'

I drank that one glass, and spent the rest of the evening feeling both dreadful and incredibly stupid.

Never again.

4

I started to reply with stories of my alcoholic father and grandfather and how I stopped drinking altogether for a few years when my Big Brother match reacted badly seeing a keepsake bottle of wine in my house. (His biological father was apparently a mean drunk.)
But figure there'll be enough stories to go around. Lol😋

4

I am 82 and have never been drunk in my life. I detest the taste of alcohol in any form, even more so the capacity of it for human distruction. Same with tobacco. Everyone has a brain that will tell you when something is not good for you but not everyone listens.

@jlynn37

Good for you! Join the club. My alcoholic father was a chain smoker who died of cancer at 51.

In the third grade, I vowed never to smoke like Dad did. Stuck to it.

My saddest observation regarding the abuse of alcohol is concluding those I’ve met doing so show a significantly higher IQ than most… My Mother (mid-eighties), a non-drinker, has concluded the same.. It appears their preferred method of dumbing themselves down to the operating level of the average..

..then there’s Winston Churchill, “I've gotten more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.Go figure 😕

3

I remember many times that I found trouble while drinking.....don't remember one single time that not drinking was a problem.....just have a really hard time thinking it took me fifty years to realize that......guess I've been "slow" much of my life.

That’s okay. Neither here or there. Like I say, “It’s overrated.”

3

My Father was a alcoholic...it caused my brother to die because Dad hit the Bar like he did every night after(and sometime during) work and he "forgot" to pick up the Penicillin before the Pharmacy closed and my brother went into a Coma and died...he was almost 4...i was almost 6...my Father drank himself into a stupor for 5 more years then walked out in front of a semi truck and died...my mother disconnected from reality and married another alcoholic...I was borderline when I got out of the Marines...I stopped drinking completely for two years to see if I could control it or if it would control me...I won...I have an occasional glass or two of wine now or a margarita...I was lucky because I could put it down and say NO...not everyone can and they are the ones that do the most damage to themselves and everyone around. Life is not guaranteed to be easy or kind but if at all possible recognize your own problems and take ownership and control of your problems and live the best life you can...you never know when your time is up.

@phoenixone1

You have my sympathy. I love how you wrote:

"I won." Bravo! Proud of you.

"Recognize your own problems, and take ownership and control of your problems, and live the best life you can. You never know when your time is up."

3

I drink beer or wine socially, but seldom by myself. I don’t use drugs, although I did try pot a few times when I was younger. It was not for me. I have never smoked.
It’s a cliche, but really do get a good high on a 12,000 ft. mountain trail or a walk at sea level on a peaceful beach.

@Sierra4

I never smoked. My father was an alcoholic, chain-smoker who died of cancer at 51.

Like you, hiking in the mountains is a transcendent, uplifting experience.

I feel ecstatic seeing colorful wildflowers, mountain peaks, azure alpine lakes, butterflies, golden Northern Larch needles in October, closing my eyes and listening to the soft rattling of millions of Aspen leaves, etc.

We all need more low-level orgasms in life.

LOL It's hard to not be at sea level when You're at the ocean.

3

I like to drink but don't overdo it. As I've gotten older, I find it impacts me longer, especially when working out.

2

I think alcoholism is an escape, or drug of choice. Grandparents on both sides sound to have been (nearly) consumed by it. Both parents avoided it because of that … but out of myself and 3 siblings.. it seems several would have acted if such a gene were involved. Nope. Three, including me, use it occasionally, another (our A Student) doesn't like it’s taste.. I feel it’s a self inflicted condition.

If anything keeps me from drinking too much, it’s, #1, recovering the following day; the high is not worth the low; #2, I hate to miss things.. Had a Mormon friend at work who’d describe how much fun he had at parties not drinking, learning all sorts of ‘secrets,’ then being the only coherent guy girls (like you) had to talk with near the end of the night… I had to agree, pot, included..

...so, working at the grocery store, closing.. We talked our supervisor into buying us a case of beer. Cheeseburgers (and cute girls) right next door! Who knows how many later … I’m being shaken awake inside my VW bug by coworkers ..seems they’d ‘let me sleep’ as long as possible before starting my Sunday shift.. Union job, double-time on Sunday’s ..I wasn’t about to toss 8 hours. So ..eight of the longest, hardest, ugliest hours ..in ‘last night’s’ white shirt & tie. The joke target of the entire (Fred Meyer) shopping center (girls included).. And a lesson never forgot, or relived 😕

Now, I view both alcohol & cigarettes as ‘legal’ forms of self-medicating. And feel very sorry for anyone dependent on them 😟

Varn Level 8 May 20, 2020

You sound a lot like me. I have family members who have struggled with alcohol (and died from years of drinking) and I rarely drink except socially I might have a beer. I don't particularly like the taste of it. I did try Disaronno once and grew to like the taste. I'm a bit afraid to keep any at home b/c I do think I'm predisposed to having a problem with it.

2

i understand that one can be a drinker and not an alcoholic, or be an alcoholic and not a drinker (harder to achieve). i am neither, but unlike most nondrinkers (i suppose) i remember my last drink. it was literally four sips of wine, spaced out over the course of a seder, a year and a month or two ago, at a synagogue so i had no control over what was served, though i suppose i could have had grape juice (as i did, at home, this year). the seder was fun and the amount of alcohol in those sips was negligible. but that WAS my last drink (unless you count matzaball soup as a drink!) oh and the chocolate cake... now THAT was decadent!

g

2

My parents never drank. I do it socially. Got drunk a few times in my life, mostly when young and hanging around with my best friend that drank a lot. Then during my divorce. Today no more than just a glass of red wine or a whiskey in a day, not every day. I just enjoy it, do not get merry or dizzy, no headaches. And never alone! On the other hand, I never touched a cigarette not any drug, neither for trying nor in the middle of a group doing it...

2

I think Small amounts of red wine are Beneficial .My 104 year old father has been drinking about 10 ounces of sangria every day for about as long as I can remember . I do not care for wine beer or any thing but an occasional mixed drink in a restaurant once in a while .

1

@LiterateHicker Quite the wake up call, Happy it turned well

1

Alcohol abuse is endemic in Scotland. I had my first drink in a bar at 16 and started serious drinking at 17. Two days after my 17th birthday , now living and working in London, I spent a night in a police cell and was charged with being drunk and incapable.
I used alcohol as a crutch to try to counteract my shyness and dislike of social gatherings.
As I got older I still drank a lot but didn't let it get in the way of work although I often turned up with a hangover.
At least three of my old drinking buddies are dead. two from liver disease and one who committed suicide.
I was lucky, I obviously did not have a genetic predisposition to alcoholism and I now drink in moderation. A few bottles of beer a week and occasional glass of wine. I have not had a hangover for years.
If alcohol is a problem the sensible thing is to give it up entirely.

1

I don't believe in a God or gods but I do believe hell exists. It exists here on earth.

People make their lives hell with addiction.

1

I was 12 or 13 years old first time I got drunk. I been drunk plenty of times... I was one time alcohol free for 5 years. When I visited P.R. in September drank some times and none at other times. Since September I haven't touched alcohol and we are talking late May now. I drink when I one to and not drink when I want to. And I was a Sailor for 20 years and Consumed alcohol like only a Sailor can... never getting in trouble... Never having a DUI in my life and I am 66 years old.... If you are Happy with your 10 years alcohol free... More Power to you. I Salute You. LEARN TO LIVE AND CONTROL THE BEAST IN YOU. ALL MEN DIE BUT NOT ALL MEN LIVE. My Honest Take.

1

I quit smoking in 1991, quit drinking even earlier after a terrible drunken night with scotch whisky, I think this was in 1975. Occasionally I might have a cordial or maybe only one shot of really good agave tequila or really good Peruvian Pisco, but that is about that and only for a special occasion like a wedding or something like that, but just one.

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