Is it important to always step up when someone is insulted?
Recently I’ve come across a few posts where one or more people are being insulting. Usually someone has already stepped in and told the person that they’re coming across as rude, often with limited success.
Understanding that aggression often comes from fear, i think once the person has been told that they’re out of line it might be helpful to reassure them too, they may live to regret their words and we’re trying to be a community.
I know some people disagree with what they will see as pandering to the rude, I could name some aliases now 
please vote anyway so we can see the stats
2
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
6 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.I don't believe it's productive to deal with the rude person publicly even though I voted yes.
I think criticism is never effective when it is done publicly. I have been known to contact people privately with a message and pose my criticism as a question.
Lorajay
Level 9
Aug 1, 2020
4
That’s a good approach I think. Do you feel that’s been better received?
@girlwithsmiles half yes, the other half was hopeless. I did not make a friend of either half.
@Lorajay fifty fifty are pretty good odds I’d say, I’ll try that then. Ta.
I tend to ignore insults, they run off like water on a duck. Especially online, they tend to be trolls seeking attention. I don’t give them the benefit. Once the dialog turns to mud slinging, I just move on and let their comments show what kind of person they are. No need to get in the mud with them and it won’t change who they are anyway.
Barnie2years
Level 8
Aug 1, 2020
2
Yes, I’m starting to feel like that too. It used to be that i felt the need to intervene, but I’ve come to respect many people on here, it’s trusting that they are taking it as well as you.
When i had a troll i did appreciate a bit of support.
@girlwithsmiles there is always blocking too. If it’s someone who just keeps showing up making derogatory statements on your pots with no real insight to their reasoning and name calling rather than address the issue: poof! They disappear from my world. Most times there is nothing they can contribute to ANY conversation anyway.
It is Very important to step up if racism/misogyny, and etc is being hurled around! Simple rudeness, meh....
AnneWimsey
Level 9
Aug 1, 2020
4
Oh yes, totally agree!
I don't know what the options "yes" and "no" mean here. What is the question? And what do you mean by "step-up"?
BitFlipper
Level 8
Aug 2, 2020
0
Ah I see the problem, ‘step up’ in this instance would be to get involved. So if someone is being rude on a post to someone adding to it, and their comments seem derogatory rather than addressing their comment:
• Yes, would mean that you should always weigh in to the argument and help the person being insulted without good reason and
• No would mean you shouldn’t feel obliged to jump in and defend them, or tell the insultor that they’re out of line.
I have a tendency just to avoid. I also need to admit that I generally don't care enough to get involved either. I'm severely lacking in social-emotional skills at times.
PhoebeCat
Level 7
Aug 3, 2020
1
Isn’t it strange, i seem to have developed a connection of sort to some regular posters, even ones that challenge me at times, and if i see them being given a hard time i feel slightly afronted myself possibly not a useful or required emotion.
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
Share this post
Categories
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.