I think there is a difference between listening and not make everything about you Vs walking on eggshells trying not to offend the hypersensitive. Maybe hypersensitivity is the opposite extreme of EQ, or perhaps it is a different axis entirely? And people will sometimes be hypersensitive but never even tell you they are offended, that's the worst IMO. That kind of thing is demonstration low EQ too.

My ideal is to be friends with people who are emotionally honest. If I say something that offends them that they think is low EQ they will tell me. And of if I listen to them and respond to them we can have an honest, rational, and transparent conversation to address our differences. And we can leave something agreeing to differ without histrionics.

@prometheus I somewhat agree with you. Basically I won't say this guy is a bullshit artist but his characterizing of unsympathetic questions is ridiculous. EQ is a test of levels on the autism spectrum. I've never felt the need to deal with a counsellor. It's a waste if my time.

@barjoe I saw something recently that talked about empathy levels. Too much empathy can be a hindrance as well as too little. But they also mentioned that people with zero empathy come in two versions - pluses and minuses. The pluses are basically people with autism - they have little or no connection with other people's emotions but there is zero ill will behind any of their actions. The minuses have a similar disconnect with others feelings but they act on it with malice. This category harbours the sociopaths and psychopaths of society.

I think there are those who say things he characterizes as low EQ but do so without malice. I often call Trumpian trolls whiny hypocritical snowflakes and other so called low EQ things, but also do all the high EQ things he mentions in the right context with the right people. Basically if someone demonstrates they would be receptive of emotional sensitivity I'll go for it. If they came at me with "yada yada yada libtard" (or more like "MAGA MAGA MAGA libtard" ) I'll respond in kind.

PS. I've never delt with a counselor either but I wouldn't write it off as a waste of time. Surely that depends on the situation? I'm of the opinion that in relationships just having a neutral third party can help - if only to be the bad guy both can agree to hate on! I've also known people who saw a shrink for the first time and said it helped them because it helped them realize everyone has problems - specifically they concluded their shrink was as messed up as them. Apparently a lot of shrinks have plenty of issues and that attracts them to the field. Maybe it gives them more empathy for people having issues?

@prometheus I empathize with people who I don't necessarily sympathize with if that makes sense.

@barjoe well it makes sense but would seem unusual, some would say very negative if it was habitual.

But I can see that someone of great "emotional intelligence" could project themselves into feeling how another feels even though they completely lack any sympathy for what they are feeling. You might say"but that isn't really empathy then" but I'm not so sure. Maybe we'd just be arguing about dictionary definitions. If sociopaths and psychopaths so it habitually then why couldn't others do it voluntarily without malice?

Another case would be sometime who had lived the others life in many ways but rejected it. There are many cases of former white supremacists now vehemently against it. Some even spend their time working with such supremacists helping them get deprogrammed. Surely they are able to feel empathy without sympathy for their subjects.

Interesting discussion. To me at least.