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Getting over someone

I'm having difficulty getting over a previous relationship. What advice would you offer to heal a broken heart?

PenningtonCM 5 Apr 11
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49 comments

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When you figure it out, let me know.

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Get connected with what's going on in your life now and focus on the present. Healing comes in time and can't be hurried but becomes more tolerable when you accept what happened happened is now in the past. You can't change it but you can let go of it, learn from it, and get on with your life. You have to responsibly take care of the most important person in your life which is you and let go of the past, live in the now, and work towards a better future by living a life independent of needing that other person.

SamL Level 7 Apr 14, 2018
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Try something that's outside your box. I embraced being more social, having more fun, getting tattoos, learning a new instrumnent. Go outside the comfort zone that people get into when they start a relationship.

1

#1 don't rush into another one
#2 take the time to heal before you even start dating, analize what went wrong and what are your expectations of the other party you even want to date
#3 learn to love and know yourself

0

It takes time. Surround yourself with friends and make good memories. Be sure to put yourself out there, and be honest with yourself and those you date with what you want out of the date/relationship.

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Is it truly necessary to get over it? You had what some never get, it’s ok to remember fondly... In time you will be able to live with it but first you must own it. What you push away will came at you faster, just be with it, let go of the thwarted expectations as that’s the part the makes us upset. Your path changed but did not end☯️

0

The same advice as anyone else would give..get busy, meet new people, accept dates, move on.

Defriend him from Facebook and all other social media so he can't stalk you, and you won't see him anywhere online.

Never talk about him to your friends or they could report it, making him feel triumphant and giving him bragging rights.

3

The heart wants what the heart wants. There are few remedies for being love sick. Good luck.

Luv sucks we all know it. Behaves just like the spoiled little brat kid who is a menace at social gatherings.

1

You can't make anyone love you. There is nothing you can do to change it and you need to move on, and be happy with yourself. Start by removing everything that reminds you of the person from your sight. Try to spend time with family and friends. Do things that you enjoy. It won't happen overnight and time will heal your loss. Best wishes for a happy life!

ebdb Level 7 Apr 11, 2018
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Time. If you have a hobby, devote most of your time to that. I like to karaoke. While married we went 2-3 times a month. After the divorce I go 2 times a week. Have fun any way you can.

1

You got to move on and see it for what it is or you will get bogged down in it.

4

Wouldn't it be wonderful if their were some trick to just heal and move on?

Actually the only cure is time. Unfortunately, the amount of time isn't the same for everyone. How you spend the time can affect who miserable that time is though.

Distract yourself when you can. Stay busy, don't sit around and torture yourself. It's okay to grieve, and sorrow is normal as well as inevitable, but don't let it keep you down.

Good luck. Take care of yourself.

JimG Level 8 Apr 11, 2018
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Take extra good care of yourself. Allow all your feelings and give yourself time to heal. And read Cynthia Heimel's Sex Tips For Girls -- seriously, it saved my sanity after a bad break-up.

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What's holding you up? Can you put a name to it? Name the problem, then think of the solution. That sounds simple, I know, and is not easy, but that's all I got hon. Some possible examples: you keep running into the person - ok, start moving in different circles; you miss the sex- ok, you know what you do; you feel betrayed - ok, try to forgive and move to new things in order to forget; you think maybe it was your fault - ok, were you gaslighted? I dunno. Fwiw.

3

a big help for me was being really honest about The Break-Up and the reasons behind it. Honesty can sometimes be painful ,but you often find that there's a lot to be learned.

1

These things take time.

I don't know if your process to recovery may involve a similar path but my healing process included hundreds of hours walking alone at night and reflecting about every nuance of the nearly decade long relationship. More importantly, I also took this time to get to know myself specifically why I made the dire choice; (I choose to (try to) fix an emotionally damaged woman rather then select a compatible woman (that I actually preferred) who was not in need of fixing). It was only after I carefully analyzed my motivation and thinking process that I was able to move forward and accept a different appreciation of who and why I am what I am. For me, this was the most important step in finding peace.

I hope you find your path to happiness.

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Time, and knowing there is a lesson to be learned about yourself. Your mission is to learn that lesson, whatever it may be.

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What worked for me was listening to Stuff You Should Know,its agreat podcast. you can get it on iTunes or spotify. they talk about the most random topics and make them very informative and entertaining. I losten to it while I work and it keeps my lind busy and I feel lile I always learn something new. hope this helps. I truly mean it when I say it's helped me greatly. hope you give it a try. a broken heart is a hard thing to go through. take care.

3

Remember the shitty stuff

Marz Level 7 Apr 11, 2018

really make a list of the crap you no longer have to put up with

2

I went out and got laid. Made it alot easier.

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I'm far from an expert on romance, but time is the only thing that will definitely help. Sorry you're going through this and that I can't be of more help. Then again, there's the old agage, "the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else." Good luck!

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I wish I knew.

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Yoga and lots of aromatherapy. Rose & lavender oil work good.

3

I've been terrible at getting over women in the past. Like some have said, I would distract myself. Alcohol would often make it worse. I'm learning to focus on me a little: do things I love, be around people I know give a sh*t about me, listen to music till I fall asleep, write a song about the situation...whatever gets me out of the "why me" phase. I'm still working on it but it gets a touch easier as I get older. Being single the last 2 1/2 yrs helps as well haha!

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I know parting ways with someone you harbored strong feelings for can be difficult, but it is rewarding to move forward with your life and get active in the dating scene again. In the meantime, involving yourself in hobbies and interests would also take your mind off of things.

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