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What is "judgmental" about saying I'm an atheist?

In his Fitness Singles profile, a man wrote about being a strong Christian. One of his photos shows him cradling an infant. The caption says he is "ministering to people." As if the infant can understand what he says. Another photo shows him holding a long snake with a terrible grimace.

He sent me an initial message showing interest. I replied explaining I'm an atheist and that we don't make a good match. In my profile under religion, I chose "atheist."

"You're right, we don't make a good match," he replied. "You seem too judgmental for me."

Was this message judgmental?

Hi Ron,

You and I don't have activities in common. As I wrote in my profile: "Shared recreational activities are a bonding experience for couples. That's why I want a man who also loves hiking, and who only shoots with a camera."

I have been an atheist since before age six. Never believed in an invisible deity that resides somewhere beyond the clouds. I chose rational thought, not magical beliefs. The fact that you believe you are "ministering" to people turns me off. I am sick of Christians trying to covert me.

I don't think we make a good match. Good luck with your search. Kathleen

LiterateHiker 9 Mar 7
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25 comments

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5

Life is too short to cushion the blows of someone else's imagination. You let him down easy, he chose to be judgemental and whiny. That proves you're better off without him.

5

Clearly, the fact that he made the choice to bark up the wrong tree is absolutely your fault.
πŸ™„πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ€·β€β™€οΈ

Pretty obvious!
...or she just became the β€œchallenge”. Either way, it’s her fault.....

4

He's just projecting. You were kind to turn him down with an explanation instead of just ignoring him.

dkp93 Level 8 Mar 7, 2021
3

Too judgmental? Looks like he doesn't like to have a taste of his own medecine.

3

What you were doing was showing good judgment because you could tell that you and he were not going to be a good match without any similar activities or beliefs in common. He wrongly interpreted that good judgement you used as you being judgemental, but perhaps his understanding of the difference between the two is sketchy and he thinks they are the same thing.

3

You are fine he's a asshole

2

You're not being Judgmental, you're being honest.

And he ministers to people ALL the time, and you just answered him with honesty, so he's the Judgmental one here. I think you know that.

BTW Love the part you say:
"and who only shoots with a camera"
LMAO

Interesting that Christianity judges you from the minute you are born. You are guilty of Original Sin. A crazy idea, but definitely very Judgmental. Now you have to be baptized to get forgiveness for something you did not do. How fucking Judgmental is that. Excuse my French.

yes honest and up front,one has to love that

2

sounds like a narcissist projecting himself onto you. I don't even bother to respond to those anymore. Not worth my time.

2

I don't think it is judgmental, but then again I think like you.

If I try to imagine how he views it, the "invisible deity" and "Chose rational thought" were likely triggers.

Net, I;d leave the language in. It is not your job to coddle people. I like that you tell them what you are seeking, and what you are. Honesty is better than wasting time. And if he describes himself as a "strong Xtian" does that mean he wants a subservient wife? That sure ain't you πŸ™‚

@Mitch07102

Love your reply. A subservient wife isn't me.

2

Christians see atheism is a repudiation of their beliefs, and that scares the shit out of them.

You did nothing wrong. Consider the source. I'll venture to bet he's also a gun nut and your shooting comment triggered him to think of something nasty to say.

2

As the old saying goes, " The difference between the righteous and the nonrighteous is that the righteous do the dividing."

2

An honest statement. He believes that because you are an atheists or any atheist makes you and all of us judgemental.

That's a good way of putting it.

2

You’re just being honest as to where you are and where you see the incompatibilities.

This reminds me of an article I saw today, at least I saw the headline and didn’t bother with the article. It was about all the way republicans are cancelling things yet accusing others of being the cancel culture. Some people just don’t see how their views come across to others.

2

Just a faithfool showing he's an acehole.

2

Wow, you are so harsh! I imagine you crushed his fragile ego! So judgmental!

He sounds like a common dweeb. You gave him more effort than he deserved. I would be concerned for the safety of that child....

2

There is no way that what you wrote back to Ron was in any way judgmental.

He was merely flaunting his disastrous failures of cognition.

1

you were to the point,politely

1

Dating - setting out to find potential life-mates...ain't easy. You have to sort through those who communicate fairly, those who are, in fact, excessively "judgemental" or those who are not judgemental enough. It's a tough path you must take.

If they name-call without explaining why...then they're breaking debate rules....and you can call that a "red flag" and let the un clear labeling itself as a reason to stop pursuing that person. Let me attach a "debate pyramid" so you can use it as guide. Actually I'm attaching 3 pyramids...broken down by detail.

love the pyramids

1

I might suggest you put less import on folks who are judging you. He made the judgement that you were. I do not think you were. I think you got away alive.

1

Sounds like he's projecting, which should surprise nobody.

Deb57 Level 8 Mar 8, 2021
1

You told him right. I would have run like hell. The judgmental ones are the believers.

1

Dear Kath,

I would never try to covert you. Overture.

Best Regards,

Renee Justwalk

1

There is much that is illogical among these subjective Christians. Yes, we are all subjective but they mistake reality for their centuries-old beliefs.

1

Not surprised, surely most religious people would think atheists to be judgmental. And in reality we are, because of our use of science fact and rational thought to justify our non belief.

Is that being judgmental in the sense that Ron used the word, or are atheists merely engaged in thinking rationally?

1

Not at all judgmental, I think you were very nice in your explanation to him. What was he doing with a snake?

@Robert_2001

Thank you.

Snake-handling is an uncommon practice of backwoods Christian preachers. To show God magically protects them from snake venom.

@LiterateHiker I’m aware of snake handling. Is that what he was doing, in a Christian environment? It could be hunting then down too

@BudFrank

White wall background. With a terrible grimace, holding the snake in both hands.

@LiterateHiker yes. Sounds like somebody you want nothing to do with. I don’t know why anyone would put that out there

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