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To those who have left religious or ideological communities or social structure, have you maintained friends from those groups?

For me, I’ve retained a few, but not many.

I’ve thought recently that the “friends” who would ostracize you for deviating from an ideology (religious, political, or otherwise) were never really friends in the first place. And that those social structures are so toxic because it subconsciously robs you of free thought due to fear of rejection.

It makes me really thankful for my friends who would stick around regardless of any good, bad, or silly beliefs I may adopt. (If they were bad I’m pretty sure they would just honestly and respectfully disagree with me.)

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DominicShaull 5 Apr 15
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16 comments

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Yes, I've kept a couple of God bothering friends and kept the family too. Although we rarely discuss the issues we disagree on, so it's easy to remain in contact, of they weren't cool it would be different.

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  1. Because of my denial of God and 2. Because of coming out of the closet. Being a gay atheist is not easy, but it gets easy.
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Perhaps of Facebook, but tht doesn't really count as Facebook friends aren't generaly actual real friends.

Other than family members, ihave nto really kept in touch (beyond Facebook) with persons from my religious past.

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I moved out of state and I don't think a friend realizes I've fallen so far away from her realm... we don't see eye to eye on many topics anymore, so phone calls have diminished...

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It isn't an issue for me since I tend to stay away from religious topics in personal conversations but, I haven't attended any church in over 17 years and will never go again. If someone rejects me because of my rationality, it's their problem, not mine 😉

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My parents would never abandon me, although it took quite a few years to convince them that I was a hardcore atheist. They are fine with it now.

I haven't had friends since middle school, so I don't know how friends work. Maybe it would be an issue if I ever made a friend.

1

It's the opposite with me..I'm the one defriending and rejecting the alt-right white Christian supremacists on Facebook..even religious relatives on one side of the family.

After they post a hate meme, I private message them one warning. If they don't apoligize, I immediately defriend them. I've purged at least half my friends list by now.
The religious people left don't post much, if at all.

Here's example of what I might say: This post is offensive. Do you really approve the police shooting unarmed black men? I'm sorry, but you're not someone I want to be associated with, so I'm going to defriend you.

People have apologized and retracted their statements only twice.

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I’ve just learned that if it comes up I put my “vote” in for agnosticism then leave it alone and things will go pretty smoothly. Just got to adjust what I say. The more why and what instead of which way I truly lean. But that’s also from making an enemy with a brother in the marine corps when I mentioned the proven theory of evolution with a deep southern Christian boy.

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Besides my immediate family I lost every single one of them. Shows I had sorry friends but a great family!

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I have a few freinds who happen to be religious, but not preachy.
As for ties to MY church, that was over 30 years ago, and I moved across the country, nearly 3,000 miles. So I didn't torch those connections, but they just weren't that special to keep intact.

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I would have no friends if I rejected Christians. Two of my friends are ministers. They never hassle me about being an atheist. They love me for who I am, and vice-versa.

Sadly, my Jehovah's Witness cousin cut me off because I am an atheist. She unsuccessfully tried to convert me. I would not take her crazy, religious pamphlets.

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I'm surprised at the number that may differ in opinion, but we share mtual respect.

The friends I have lost or shed in the last few years, universally, tRumpsters, for whom I have no respect.

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The ones who I remain friends with are semi-religious conformists. I think they basically believe in getting along with others.

jeffy Level 7 Apr 15, 2018
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No. not really. But, it was not because I pushed away from those friends, but because I moved to communities far away and became actively engaged with my own children, wife, career and other pursuits.

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I remain friends with a man I first met when we were young teens and both of us religious. Beyond that I recognise and speak with a few Pentecostals from my wife and I's church days. I have told a few that I no longer believe. The others simply know that I am no longer religious. My workplace knows I was once religious but I cannot ever tell them I am atheist.

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I don't miss any of those people. Like, at all.

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