The expectation of selflessness, I think, backfires into resentment. We're told that only if some act has no value or benefit to ourselves can it be considered to be a morally pure act of charity or altruism. Invariably, this tends towards a dynamic where not only do we not personally benefit from said act, but it ends up costing us something.

What that sets up is a circumstance where we either feel guilty for benefitting ourselves or resentful of the effort we make for others. I have a better idea.

Recognize that you commit charitable acts for YOUR benefit. You help others selfishly because you know that it will either benefit you in the long run or immediately in feeling good for doing it and making the world just a little bit more like YOU want it to be.

What this means is that the transaction is complete upon commission of the charitable act. There's no unconscious expectation of quid pro quo and no guilt over that expectation or resentment when it isn't forthcoming. You've paid yourself for your act WITH your act and the recipient isn't even part of the equation, really. Done.

Imagine how many more people would be charitable or kind if they knew they could do it selfishly...

I think it's a huge mistake, personally. I believe the key to happiness and fulfillment begins with taking care of your own needs and desires first. Everything else, including acts that are considered selfless, will follow.

I'm not sure of the circumstances of your teaching, but I would suggest A) by example (and I swear I'm not being flippant!) or B) through charity work or charitable giving?

Altuism has been shown to be a perfectly reasonal evolved survival tactic.
Ten of you can be hunted down and killed by a saber tooth tiger, but if ten of you stand together and protect one another it tiger stew for supper.

Can something like selflessness be taught? How far does selflessness go? Is it enough for me to be selfless, because doing so makes me feel good or must I be so selfless as to ignore damage to myself? Food for thought.

I think it starts with small things like letting someone with fewer items go ahead of you at the grocery checkout and stuff. That builds into a habit. I'm pleased when it seems like a big deal to someone. One time I had to take a bathroom break while getting work done at the dental school. I had the gear all in my mouth still but took time to hold the door open for a dental student whose hands were full with her equipment tray when all the other students coming and going through the double doors ignored her. She looked at me exasperated and said loudly, "Thank you!," and looking around to the other students, "What's so hard about that?!?"

What it needs to be combined with is the understanding that some people become users and take advantage of the good natured. Clueing them into that dynamic is also important. Usually with the small stuff, it doesn't matter as the actions and lack of appreciation of others in that regard shouldn't direct your own behavior, but one must also be on guard when their own disregard for the burden on others can have consequences too severe to be justified.

To be purely selfless, you need to first recognize that self is an illusion. If you have that moment when you realize you are a piece of life which is just a part of the whole universe and everything, greed, fear, anger, joy, happiness, is within your subjective realm, you can almost transcend yourself and can distance yourself from your ego.

There was a story I think it was Schopenhauer, about a policeman who saw a man about to throw himself off tower bridge and into the Thames - In that decisive moment he saw that he would not be human if he did not attempt to rescue the man .They both survived .

When I was living in hte lake district there was a school sports day after the rushbearing walk beating the bounds; and then gingerbread and ginger beer; the last part of the sports day post races etc. was a race up and down the nearby Fell . My partner and I climbed up it first in order to cheer the children on - one boy had asthma and wasnt supposed to run and he collapsed at the top I picked him up and walked down with him in my arms he was a heavy lad but I couldnt let go; even when help appeared; I couldnt hand him over it was as if I was in an altered state and could only hang on in there. When the rescuers talked to me I came out of that state but I think there is an element of altruism in all of us that can be tapped into.

My dad driving to my cross country meet to see the start and finish of a 5 mile run and then returning home to be in support

When you can score a goal but pass to someone in desperate need to get on the score sheet. Figuratively speaking ..

I honestly don't know what I did, or if I even did anything, but my kids are my heroes in this department.

I guess the best you can do is be an example not a lecturer. Impress on your kids (I assume that's the goal here) that it is rewarding to help someone who needs it.

As a plus you can point out that if you do something good because you expect a reward or fear punishment, it's not really good.

I think it is best to start young and demonstrate what you want the child to do. My parents taught me what it meant to be selfless when I was a very small kid. They showed me how my actions even small ones can have a big impact on others lives. It is a lot harder to get that point to truely sink in later in life, but you can try by showing a person the suffering people have and how your actions can help them. As a parent I am only batting a 250 (1 out of 4), but my daugther always thinks of how things affect others. Based on her grades she will probably struggle in high school and college, but she is a very brave kid, as she stands up to bullies even to the point of having lost freinds. My three boys think about others a bit, but never really in a truely selfless way.

I think selflessness comes from empathy (and genetics like everything else LOL). I grew up dirt poor in Georgia and saw lots of instances where people with very little shared what they had. It had a huge effect on me. I'm not selfless but I try to do good and I'm empathetic.

It’s hard to teach an innate trait, but empathy helps it, as does kindness and sharing.

I literally made enemies by the very people I thought I helped the printer says people bite the hand that feeds them and out of these bitter experiences I'm going to be good to me I can understand what people do these things that you try to help and people complain about our representatives to our president or whoever that is her fault because we're such bad shape it's everybody's fault one way or the other just my sick opinion

[parentingscience.com] For me, selflessness is synonymous with empathy. It's getting a kick out of helping others. I don't think selfish is the opposite of selfless. To me, the opposite is self-centered. A matter of semantics.

Showing compassion and kindness for someone who can do nothing for you in return. Hospitals, homeless shelters, and nursing homes are a good place to start.

I'm not selfless, I try to be emphatic, in my relation to others, I try to use as little plastic as I can but I'm still in the center of my own world. But I can imagine situations that selflessness would occur, like saving of someone that I love, at risk of my own life. It has nothing to do with a conscious decision, it would be an act of instinct. I guess.