A holiday message from S K Deitch:
There may be fewer people guilty of this in this group than elsewhere, but it is actually something I feel pretty strongly about
You need to stop lying to your children about Santa Claus.
You need to stop lying about God too, but you need to get over lying to yourself about God before you can stop with your kids, so let's just stick to Santa right now.
The pernicious Santa Claus lie causes inter-generational distrust. I wasn't ever lead to believe that Santa was real. My mom took great pains to let me know it was a fun myth, but presents came from friends and family. She also never linked Holiday gifts to my behavior.
After a few incidents, it was made clear to me that I should not share the great secret of the non-existence of Santa with my peers. I was told that parents had the right to "allow" their children to believe in him. It was a part of their religion apparently.
I was content to do this in my immaturity, but as an adult it rankled more and more as time went on. I knew at least two kids my age who when they finally accepted that Santa was just a story their parents had been telling them, around age 8 I guess, they were devastated. Not just made sad, but existentially unhinged. The universe worked differently than they had been told by their parents and their parents had known it. Who were these people whose house they were living in? What else were they lying about?
For me, this was happening in the 1960s, an era in which we were through the looking glass about a lot of things. A good number of kids my age just plain hated their parents by the time they were teens and for my money, it all started with St. Nick.
Conspiracy theorists are born the day a kid learns the truth about Santa Claus because they learn that a basic truth about their lives is a fabrication passed on by those they trust the most.
To society's credit, fewer kids are indoctrinated with Santa as truth than once were, but still too many are and it sucks.
Basically, if you won't tell them the truth, I will.
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When I was little, I knew (was told, I guess) that the Santas in department stores and the like were all pretend, but that there was just one real one, who came on Christmas Eve. Then, when I was eventually told the truth about that one, I was very sad. It was the beginning of my doubts about God. If Santa wasn't real, how sure could I be about God? I find it surprising that other kids don't develop such doubts in the same way. So, in a sense, I agree that parents should not pretend that Santa is real. On the other hand, it was only the discovery of this lie that started my freethinking views about God. Without that, I might have been a Christian today, which would not have been a good thing! (Although I guess I would have thought it was, and would have been glad. Confusing.)
Coffeo
Level 8
Dec 2, 2017
0
I was gifted parents who never pushed belief on us(They were unquestioning Hindus and I was raised agnostic somehow). When we were really young, Santa was real. Then when we got wise, we were simply asked to be in on the secret and make gifts for younger kids in the family. Since I was wise to this and "part of Santa" by 2nd grade, it caused no lasting harm. It was awesome being in on the secret and if I have kids I will be grotesquely obvious about the mechanics of Christmas so we can broach the topic young and I can pass on that magic of just having a time of year where we do nice things for people.
DJVJ311
Level 7
Dec 2, 2017
0
My parents who were Jewish let me believe in Santa Claus and even took me to visit him. I think I remember one Christmas season I was allowed to be like all my friends. I was angry when I wanted to decorate a neighbors tree and my parents freaked out. I hated them for not letting me celebrate Christmas. Now as a adult I enjoy the festivity of the season with my own tree.My two daughters were brought up with presents for Channukah and Xmas -not really believers in a house of worship. Santa was there for them plus a tree.
sassygirl3869
Level 9
Dec 2, 2017
0
We always made Santa a fun make-believe character with our kids. They could visit him at the mall, leave milk and cookies out, be excited about stockings, etc., but we were all in on the secret that he wasn't real. I think it was just as much fun that way and none of the stress of discovering the truth.
CC_David
Level 5
Dec 2, 2017
0
I can't remember ever being upset (much) when as a young child I found out that Santa didn't exist. I vaguely remember being made fun of in primary school when I apparently said something about Santa and another child thoroughly enjoyed making fun of me. Children can be cruel to each other. I reckon I must have shook it off and got on with my childhood. I seemed to remember early on that it was mom and dad who brought the toys for us. Santa was just part of the 'magic' of :Christmas.
Skyfacer
Level 7
Dec 2, 2017
0
Yes indeedy, SKDeitch. And the Tooth Fairy. Fortunately, most of my kids never heard of the Tooth Fairy, but one day, my youngest came home from school with a story about one of her friends who had received $5 for a tooth she had put under her pillow. So I asked her, "Alex, do you believe that story?" She sort of scuffled her feet around and said, "Yeah. Well, I think so anyway."
The moment for a bit of teaching about critical thinking and the skeptical approach had been presented. I told her, "There's a way to test that to see if it's true. You wanna try it?" She nodded -- hesitantly. So, I said that the next time she lost a tooth to put it under her pillow to see what happened. About two months later, she had what was needed for the test, a tooth. She told me about it and we went together to slip it under her pillow. In the morning there was a tooth under her pillow and no $5. She came to me in the kitchen and said, "Nope. No Tooth Fairy." The lesson was learned.
Oh, yes, I did give her the $5. The least I could do for my little trouper.
evidentialist
Level 8
Dec 2, 2017
1
I see Santa as explaing the evolution of human myth
We experience myth throughout life like the old joke about Santa Claus:
- As a young child, Santa Claus is very real & we learned to love him;
- Then at some point, we discovered he is make believe and simply alive only in our minds. This brings on hurt,mistrust,disappointment etc.
- Next, reliving the joy we felt & the satisfaction of giving, we pretended to be Santa Claus.
4.And finally in old age we begin looked like him!
mzee
Level 7
Dec 2, 2017
0
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