I always kind of worried about the whole 'missing an opportunity by looking too hard in one specific direction' and some of my more fulfilling relationships have been with people who were completely off-book. I never really tried to do the whole checklist thing until well into my 20s, and even that was relatively open-ended. That said I've also always spent a lot of time over analyzing compatibility with people I considered potential prospects.

Checklist sounds like a lot of work. If we click, then we go from there. You’d be surprised how much doesn’t matter when you enjoy someone’s company.

I met my wife over 20 years ago in a role-playing text based MUD (called Dragonrealms.) We've been happily married all this time (6 sons later) DESPITE our massive differences (she's christian, I'm not. She's Republican, I'm Democrat or Independent (more left leaning). She's sloppy, I'm OCD clean, but somehow we make it work. I think trying to get that "perfect" mate is how you end up alone. Accepting the other person for who they are and making small changes (if you can) through the years is more than enough imho. If the other person respects you and loves you, they'll make changes in those areas that most bother you.

I have two lists. One is red flags, the other is what I want. Obviously I’m not gonna give up my red flags list on a dating site. My what I want list is getting smaller and smaller all the time. The one constant that remains is a man’s ability to finish this poem. “Even a man who is pure in heart and says his prayers by night.” It’s that simple. It’s really not about religion. So don’t get scared. Don’t Google it! lol Generally I know if he knows the poem he’s probably my kind a guy. It’s a start anyway.

For anyone I'm going to let close... I only care who you voted for in 2016 primary & general. And yes I do ask. (I have cancer so if you didn't support me then, you don't need me in your life ever. I will admit, sad but true.)

NEVER I divorced my ex after 40 years of marriage, Why would I ever want another one?

I think conceding ideals and expectations is a part of being in a relationship. No ones a perfect match let alone the odds of someone being everything you’ve ever wanted only creates a situation for them to disappoint you . Instead embracing the faults , like they were your own. Understand that we are human , and we will rarely be a perfect checklist ourselves.

Yup. Still do. And some check marks are more heavily weighted.

My checklist is based on learning about what I want and need in a partner as well a what I simply can't tolerate in an intimate relationship. I know that the list isn't everything, but it is so much better for me than just following my feelings (because attention feels great and can overrun reason way to fast at times). Ruling out meeting people who want very different things keeps me from being disappointed and disappointing someone else in terms of values and major life goals (kids, religion, politics, money, sex, etc.)

Agreed. It's not about "ticking" all the boxes. Sometimes, it's about checking as many as possibe, other times it's something more intanglible. I personally believe after trying to date for 5 years (unsuccessfully), it's more about knowing what you DON'T want more than what you DO want. A somewhat subtle yet important distinction.

No check list, here.

No, I don't do grocery list. I don't mail order either.

Nope. Sometimes think I should have some minimums, such as being employed, but I tend to roll with things. Sometimes it goes poorly, other times very well.

Yes, but just like once I'm at the grocery store, I'll come back with a bunch of things not on my list, and often forget several things I needed to buy.

Checklist no. But I have learned that there is requirements that vary depending on the person.

Looking only at the positives is dangerous. Take buying a car, wow it looks great, shiny, fast, nice posi-traction rear end, bright headlights, clean interior. Ignore All those boring traits like a well maintained engine, low miles, and good gas mileage and you might end up with a lemon.

There are only a couple of requirements for me. An open, caring, loving, compassionate heart. On the negative side - Nobody with imaginary friends, no tRump morons, no bogotry.

I don't think checklists are a good idea.Many people with very different ideas to mine jave become my closet friend.

There is only one thing one my checklist. Does this person bring me a feeling of happiness?

Religion is the only no-go for me.
Same for friends. I can not respect someone into wilful ignorance.

Nah. I just check off the "deal breakers".
Astrology, Anti Vaccers, Single-hair phobes, Have to talk every second, Andrew Lloyd Weber fans ...
After that, I just sit back and learn, and hope THEY don't have a "deal breaker" list of their own.

Only for certain things.

Ex: Must like/tolerate cats as I’m not getting rid of them.

I just go with if I find them interesting and attractive. There are red flags (Trump supporters) that would definitely stop me from dating someone , but I don't really have a checklist.

I don't, but I should.

In a sense quite but in general I don't go looking for partners but if I find someone attractive and compatible with me I'll generally see what else we have that's compatible or desirable.