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10 20

He misunderstood my question. I'm glad he did.

On Bumble today I encountered a man, 67, who calls himself "a vagabond by choice." He's been driving around "searching for a place that looks like home," he said. That raised alarm bells. He claims to be a retired engineer and IT specialist.

"Do you have a home to return to?" I asked. Yes, in Idaho.

"What are you looking for?" I asked. I was asking what he is looking for in a place.

In response, he sent me four audio files on his cellphone while driving. Hemming and hawing, he talked about being monogamous during his 33-year marriage. Then he said he wants an adventure partner and a non-monogamous relationship.

My reply:

Since you want to sleep around, I'm out. That's a good way to catch an STD.

The funny thing is I was asking what you are looking for in a place that looks or feels like home. You went off in another direction. I'm glad you did. The truth came out.

Haha!

LiterateHiker 9 Dec 4
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10 comments

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3

UPDATE:

He deleted his Bumble profile.

That or he blocked you...😂

@phoenixone1

This morning I sent him the first part of your priceless, funny reply:

"Lonely, traveling, "semi-homeless", non-committal, single male ... seeks occasional hook-up with cute "women" ... Must be willing to share. Please send pictures of cute female friends, and acquaintances."

It was tongue-in-cheek. Apparently it offended him. Good.

@LiterateHiker don't you just wish you could have been the proverbial "fly on the wall"...😂

2

Here's my Bumble profile:

Ladies I am now accepting reservations for Dec 12 through Jan 15. Please respond with photos of bed , refrigerator, cute puppy, car and full frontal nudity. I'll be in touch, Love ya!

twill Level 7 Dec 4, 2021
4

Another bullet dodged.

Your ability to keep looking and remain hopeful, continues to amaze me.

2

He was clearly damaged goods anyhow....what a quack....👀

4

You attractive people have completely different lives. When women ask me what I'm looking for, they mean what kind of service am I willing to pay for?

@BitFlipper

For attractive women, the odds are good, but the goods are odd.

3

must be a pretty nasty rash he's got. makes for a long drive.

5

"Lonely, traveling, "semi-homeless", non-committal, single male ... seeks occasional hook-up with cute "women" ... Must be willing to share. Please send pictures of cute female friends, and aquaintances.

Tales from the crypt. 😂😂😂 Are you sure the "hemming and hawing" wasn't just "heavy breathing"?...smh

@phoenixone1

You nailed it. Hilarious and apt.

2

Dodged a big one

More likely she dodged a “little” one....🤔

😁

@Buck Pretty small

4

If I responded in such a way to your question at first meeting, I'd like to make sure that you understood it was humour and not a shopping list for desires.
Pretending that we had just started a relationship and I thought that WE may wish to play with other people, then that would be a more delicate and intimate matter.
And, of course as I think you've alluded to, be careful what you wish for, as getting it may cause a nasty infection!

5

Yet another weirdo averted! Stay strong! There must be That One out there for all of us. Kudos to you for not latching on to anyone that brings a cartload of cardboard hearts.

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