Many years ago my neighborhood was plagued by people of faith walking around and knocking on doors trying to convince other people to join whatever particular religion /sect they professed to be true.

When they came to my house I listened to them for about 5 minutes. Then I asked them, "Ok, so let me see if I got this right. Even if I am a good person, treat others well and live truly by a moral code, unless I accept your god as my personal savior, I will spent eternity, after I die, in hell?"

They nodded yes.

"And, all those righteous people who lived before your religion was invented/discovered, and all those people who've lived since then but never heard of your religion or had an opportunity to accept it, they too are going to spend eternity in hell?"

They nodded yes.

I took a breath and said, "I would rather spend eternity burning in the everlasting fires of hell then to spend two seconds in heaven with your mean and spiteful god."

They left and never bothered me again.

I would say if you were a true loving god that cared about people in the universe then you would have not created mass murders, so many different types of cruelty, sadness on a mass scale, and so on its a long list of fuckups.

I would say where have you been and what the hell have you been doing they could really use your help down there

Which god are you out of the dozens available?

"So whose hat are you wearing today?"

Why the hell did you send us down there? Did you really kill yourself because we were all bad and needed to be saved? What the hell is the deal with you and your dad committing genocide? Never mind, your answers are rubbish please send me to hell so I can be with people I can relate with.

Can I see your credentials?

To the god I was taught to believe in as a child, "are you a god at all, or just this sadistic?"

"You have a lot of explaining to do".

First, I love the look on the interviewers face as Fry answers!!! I agree with his answer & yours. I'd lean closer to Fry in the respect that I usually am a bit flippant with this question, as I don't see it happening, but it'd be something like, "Jaweh (if it is that particular god), you got some 'splainin' to do!"

God is not worth my words, and he owes us all an explanation anyways.

God- "BEHOLD, MORTAL! MY DIVINE PRESENCE!"
Me- "Who the fuck are you?"
God- "I AM THE LORD THINE GOD"
Me- "Bullshit. Where am I?"
God- "YOU STAND IN JUDGEMENT AT THE GATES OF HEAVEN"
Me, finally looking around- "Woah. Guess I was wrong. Probably gonna need a minute. Uh..."
God- "YOU HAVE LIVED A FAITHLESS LIFE. WHAT SAY YOU IN YOUR DEFENSE?"
Me- "I lived a good, sensible life. It's not my fault you couldn't be bothered to show any evidence whatsoever for your existence. Believing in you would have been crazy. And one possible definition of evil is insanity. You want me to be evil? You sure you're not Satan, and this isn't some kind of trick?"
God, looking annoyed- "SPEAK NOT AGAINST ME, FOR I AM GOOD"
Me, getting angry- "Bullshit! You toy with us, show no mercy, protect no one, do nothing! If allowing evil to thrive is what it means to you to be good, then I want none of it!"
God- "THEN I CAST YOU TO HELL, WHERE YOU SHALL SUFFER FOR ALL ETERNITY FOR YOUR DEFIANCE"
Me, falling through the clouds- "Fuuuuuuuuucccckkkkkk!"
Me, landing in hell- "I shoulda thought that through."
Satan, looking bored- "He's a dick. Has been for all of creation. Go down the hall, take your first right."
Me, looking relieved- "You mean you aren't going to torture me?"
Satan, chuckling- "Oh, we're still gonna torture you. For the first hundred years, we torture you with mindless beurocracy. Ha ha ha ha HA HAHAHAHA!"
Me- "...shit."

What the fuck is wrong with you jerk.

Where did you come from and why are you such a fucking Asshole?

"Platypus? What the fuck was that?"

Where ya been????‍

I’d say wow,so you are real then why did you make me an atheist

"Where the hell have you been?"

i would go the steven frye route, cancer in children? really what's that about?

God, should he or she be real would have a lot to answer for! Just the latter half of the twentith century could be grounds for genocide laws to take him/her down.

What were you thinking with ticks? and misquitos? why? what about lyme disease and Zika? I mean, I just don't get that.

I agree with Frye's comments in this video. If god was such a great guy why all the suffering on Earth? And then he has the gall to expect us to worship him? Fuck that shit!

You should really see a doctor, those holes in your hands should have healed by now.

Pal, you really fucked up this job!

Apologies if this one has appeared before: I haven't read all 258 previous comments

I'd say 'Where the hell have you been?'